Marauders to the End: Year Two, Chapter Ten
TITLE: The Sunshine Scoundrel
FANDOM: Harry Potter
CHARACTERS: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Albus Dumbledore, Andromeda Black, OCs
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Swearing
SUMMARY: James is on the hunt to find out who spiked the pumpkin juice!
AUTHOR COMMENTARY: The last chapter written. While the story is not over and I do have lots of tidbits in my notebooks, I don't know if I'll ever actually put them together or just post them as one-shots some day. For now, just enjoy the thought of James Potter in a Sherlock Holmes hat. There will be a break tomorrow, then Sunday I'm going to start de-anoning all my Kink Meme fills for summer re-run season.
“This Marauder meeting is now called to order! Mastermind and Transfiguration Expert James Potter presiding! This meeting has been called due to an emergency at Hogwarts! Some evil mastermind has drugged the school’s supply of pumpkin juice so that everyone at the school is ridiculously happy and we need to find out who.” He looked around and saw Remus raise his hand. “The Mastermind recognizes Moralizer and Secretary Remus Lupin.”
“Yes,” Remus said. “How exactly is everyone at Hogwarts being happy an emergency?”
James sighed. “Because, Remus, people should not feel emotions just because someone put something in their drink. We should be free to feel how we want! And even if you want to remain blissful and perky, I want to know who did this and why! The Mastermind recognizes Chief Operations Officer and Smooth-Talker Sirius Black.”
“First off,” Sirius said. “Quit conducting this as though it were a Ministry law council. Second off, get over it. Everyone’s happy. Why ruin it?”
“Are you?” James said. “Are you really happy? Or do you just act happy and think you’re happy when you’re really unhappy?”
The other three looked at each other. “Does it matter?” Sirius asked.
“Yes,” James said. “It really matters. So let’s start sleuthing!”
“You do that,” Sirius said. “I’m going to eat lunch and then maybe do my homework.”
“I agree with Sirius,” Peter said. “Professor Z’s actually gave us homework this week.”
“I’ll come,” Remus said. “When Sirius uses the words ‘do my homework,’ there’s something to worry about.”
The first stop was the Common Room, where everyone was cheerfully working or playing Gobstones or chess or something. James looked around to see who looked the most suspicious. Remus thought that everyone seemed fairly normal, except the fact that they were smiling about writing essays, but followed as James approached the least normal-looking person.
Apparently, Lily Evans looked suspicious. Either that or James wanted to annoy her. Either way, Lily was the person James walked up to.
“What is it, Potter?” Lily asked without her usual sarcasm.
“Well, Evans, there’s some fiend who’s spiking the pumpkin juice with a Perky Potion,” James explained. “And I’m trying to find out who. Any ideas?”
“Whom,” Lily corrected. “And no, I don’t. But as long as you’re playing detective, you should have the right equipment.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a funny looking hat, a toy pipe, and a glass with a handle on it and handed all these items to James, making sure to put the hat on his head�”a difficult feat since James was desperately in need of a haircut as usual.
“What’s all this for?” James asked as Remus burst out laughing.
“Detecting!” Lily said happily. “Now people will take you seriously!”
“Lily,” Remus said gently. “Why don’t you go to the library?”
“Oh! The library!” Lily said. “It has books! I love books!” She turned and skipped out of the room.
“Okay, James,” Remus said. “You’re right. Something is definitely weird.”
“See?” James said. “And what’s this?” He held up the glass.
“It’s a magnifying glass. Muggles use it to make small things appear bigger. It helps find things like dust and traces and stuff.”
“And the rest of it?”
“I think it’s more for effect than anything else,” Remus said. “My mum used to read me stories about a detective who wore that type of hat and carried a pipe, although why Evans was carrying them around in her bag…”
“What’s a detective?”
“Muggle Auror,” Remus explained. “You know, it would be easier if you just took your Invisibility Cloak and hung around the kitchens to see who’s spiking the juice rather than interrogate people.”
“True,” James said. “But that potion lasts weeks without reinforcement! Whoever’s doing it may not be putting it in every day!”
“Well, then, whenever we aren’t in class, you can hang around the kitchens and try to figure out who the Sunshine Scoundrel is,” Remus said. “After all, he may not be a Gryffindor�”or even a student!”
James saw the point. “All right, Remus,” he said. “We’ll do that.”
There wasn’t much opportunity to hang about the kitchens, though. James had regular lessons plus homework, which meant that he could only watch the pumpkin juice during breaks, meals, and after hours.
But James wasn’t going to admit defeat easily. He started keeping watch over the pumpkin juice all through the night, trying not to drift off.
“How are you still getting the best marks if you keep falling asleep in class?” Remus asked. Now that he knew that something was definitely weird, he too had stopped drinking the pumpkin juice.
“I’m just a genius,” James answered, stifling a yawn. “Besides, everyone falls asleep in History of Magic.”
“Too true,” Remus admitted. “But if you fall asleep on McGonagall, you’ll be in detention and won’t be able to keep watch.”
James nodded. “If only we had some clue… anything that would indicate who or what we’re looking for…”
“Here’s an idea,” Sirius said, leaning over Peter’s slumbering form. “Forget it. Everyone feels great, including the teachers. Heck, use this to your advantage! McGonagall may be in a good enough mood not to put you in detention for being a prat as usual.”
“So?” James asked.
“So we can do anything we like and the teachers will laugh for a change!” Sirius said, the old maniacal glint in his eye. “Just think, James! We could paint the Slytherins orange and they wouldn’t care! We could ride our brooms all over the castle! Heck, we could enchant the Bludgers to follow Snape around everywhere and we’d get away scot free!”
“That’s not the point!” James hissed back. “You don’t pull pranks and not get away with it. Getting caught is half the fun!”
“Well, all we know is that this person is absolutely brilliant,” Remus said. “I mean, if Dumbledore doesn’t know about this…”
“That’s it!” James cried, forgetting that he was in class. Luckily, it was History of Magic, so most people were asleep and Professor Binns didn’t even look up. “Dumbledore! We ask Dumbledore what’s going on!”
“Do you really think he’ll know about this?” Remus asked.
“Dumbledore’s the most brilliant wizard who’s ever lived,” James pointed out. “If he doesn’t know what’s going on, we have no chance of figuring it out.”
“One problem,” Sirius said. “We don’t know where his office is. We’ve never done anything bad enough to be sent there.”
“It can’t be that hard to figure out,” James said. “I mean, he’s the Headmaster. He has to be fairly accessible to the students.”
“All right, James,” Remus said. “You go see Dumbledore after classes are done.”
Unfortunately, that was no easy feat. James had no idea where Dumbledore’s office was and the only people he knew of who would have been there were teachers, and he certainly wasn’t going to try and explain all of this to McGonagall.
“If only there was a map of Hogwarts,” James muttered as he tried to decide which floor to try.
“Potter!” Lucy Jenkins, one of the other Gryffindor chasers, was striding toward James. “Anny’s calling emergency practice tonight. Last minute tactics against Slytherin and all.”
“As in, right now?” James said, feeling distinctly annoyed.
“Of course right now!” Jenkins said. “When did you think, next April?”
“Okay, I’m coming,” James sighed. “Incidentally,” he added. “Do you know where Dumbledore’s office is?”
“Seventh floor, behind the stone gargoyle,” Jenkins answered. “Why?”
“Just curious,” James muttered. “I mean, it’s useful information to have, isn’t it?”
“I suppose,” Jenkins sighed. “Well, come on.”
Drugged pumpkin juice or not, Anny’s Quidditch mania had not lessened one bit, and while being overly-optimistic about the team was an improvement, it did get annoying after a while.
“Slytherin’s got a good team,” she admitted brightly. “But we’ve got a better team! And we can show them what we can do!”
James and Remus exchanged a glance. Anny being perky was just a little bit too weird.
“How long is this going to take?” James muttered after several minutes. “I need to see Dumbledore before tomorrow.”
“She has to let us go before eight, because that’s when we have to be in our dorms,” Remus said quietly. “And I think you’ll be excused if you’re talking to Dumbledore.”
James nodded and tried to concentrate on the practice, but it was difficult when all he could think about was the Sunshine Scoundrel, and he ended up playing worse than anyone else.
“What’s with you, Potter?” Anny asked when they were finished. “You’re normally top form.”
“Nothing,” James said quickly. “School anxiety. We have a big test in Potions next week.”
“Oh,” Anny said. “If that’s all.”
As soon as he could, James put away his Quidditch gear and dashed back up to the castle. He went straight to the seventh floor and found the stone gargoyle that Jenkins had described. He looked at it. Now what?
“Er…” he said. “How do I go up?”
“Password,” the gargoyle said.
“I don’t know the password,” James said. “But I really need to see Professor Dumbledore. Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, move aside so I can see him quickly?”
The gargoyle didn’t move. James sighed in frustration and tried to think of what Dumbledore would use as a password. Unfortunately, James’s contact with the headmaster thus far had been negligible and James had no idea what to guess about Dumbledore.
It had to be something memorable, that was certain, but it also needed to be something that couldn’t be easily guessed.
James started pacing up and down the corridor, saying random words to the gargoyle, though it still didn’t budge. He was just starting to think about giving up and asking McGonagall for help when the gargoyle suddenly jumped aside and the wall opened to reveal what looked like a stone escalator with Dumbledore himself standing there.
“Good evening, James,” he said as though they had made an appointment. “Won’t you step up?”
“Oh… Professor, I needed to see you…”
“Obviously, or you would not be standing at the bottom of my stairs muttering,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “Come.”
James stepped onto the stone steps and the escalator carried them upstairs to an oak door with a knocker in the shape of a griffin. Dumbledore opened the door and led James inside.
The office was a handsome room with a highly polished desk, behind which was a shelf where the Sorting Hat sat. There was also a gold perch where a phoenix sat. Everywhere were little spindly tables with strange instruments whirring away on them. Dumbledore sat down behind the desk and James sat down across from him.
“So, James,” Dumbledore said. “Why did you come to see me tonight?”
“Because something’s going on, Professor,” James said. “Everyone’s been acting ridiculously perky recently. I tested the pumpkin juice and someone’s been adding a potion to it that’s creating this mood and I want to know who’s doing it because I don’t think it’s a good idea for everyone in the entire school to be unreasonably cheerful all the time.”
Dumbledore smiled. “Well, James, I must congratulate you! Out of several hundred students, you’re the only one who became even remotely suspicious, but I never thought that you would have the ingenuity to test the pumpkin juice!”
“Excuse me?” James said, thoroughly confused.
“I had intended it as a test for the older students,” Dumbledore continued. “A bit of an experiment, so to speak. All the teachers agreed to it. But the older students didn’t notice anything… tell me, James, are you a naturally suspicious person?”
“No, sir,” James said. “But… what was all that again?”
“It was Professor Zephyr’s idea, actually. See if we could interfere with the student body without anyone noticing.”
“I see,” James said. “So now that I’ve figured it out…”
“Oh, we’ll stop. It’s just a bit of a shame that a few more of your classmates didn’t figure it out.”
“Thank you, Professor,” James said, very wrong-footed. “So everyone will get back to normal now?”
“Well, after the potion wears off. We put the last dose in this morning so everyone will come down off of it in a few weeks.” Dumbledore looked at the clock. “And now, James, I believe it is time for you to be back in your dormitory.”
“Yes, sir.” James stood up and left the office.
“So it was the teachers?” Remus said the next morning once James had finished explaining what had happened.
“They wanted to test us,” James said. “And I was the only one who noticed something was wrong. But everything should be back to normal soon.”
“It’s weird, though, Professor Z coming up with something like that,” Sirius said. “I mean, I sort of understand, but it’s a strange concept all around.”
“Oh, never mind that,” James said. “We have work to do. Halloween’s this Tuesday and we need to be prepared.”
Sirius grinned. “After all,” he said. “Everyone needs a reminder that no potion can outdo the great Marauders!”
FANDOM: Harry Potter
CHARACTERS: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Albus Dumbledore, Andromeda Black, OCs
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Swearing
SUMMARY: James is on the hunt to find out who spiked the pumpkin juice!
AUTHOR COMMENTARY: The last chapter written. While the story is not over and I do have lots of tidbits in my notebooks, I don't know if I'll ever actually put them together or just post them as one-shots some day. For now, just enjoy the thought of James Potter in a Sherlock Holmes hat. There will be a break tomorrow, then Sunday I'm going to start de-anoning all my Kink Meme fills for summer re-run season.
“This Marauder meeting is now called to order! Mastermind and Transfiguration Expert James Potter presiding! This meeting has been called due to an emergency at Hogwarts! Some evil mastermind has drugged the school’s supply of pumpkin juice so that everyone at the school is ridiculously happy and we need to find out who.” He looked around and saw Remus raise his hand. “The Mastermind recognizes Moralizer and Secretary Remus Lupin.”
“Yes,” Remus said. “How exactly is everyone at Hogwarts being happy an emergency?”
James sighed. “Because, Remus, people should not feel emotions just because someone put something in their drink. We should be free to feel how we want! And even if you want to remain blissful and perky, I want to know who did this and why! The Mastermind recognizes Chief Operations Officer and Smooth-Talker Sirius Black.”
“First off,” Sirius said. “Quit conducting this as though it were a Ministry law council. Second off, get over it. Everyone’s happy. Why ruin it?”
“Are you?” James said. “Are you really happy? Or do you just act happy and think you’re happy when you’re really unhappy?”
The other three looked at each other. “Does it matter?” Sirius asked.
“Yes,” James said. “It really matters. So let’s start sleuthing!”
“You do that,” Sirius said. “I’m going to eat lunch and then maybe do my homework.”
“I agree with Sirius,” Peter said. “Professor Z’s actually gave us homework this week.”
“I’ll come,” Remus said. “When Sirius uses the words ‘do my homework,’ there’s something to worry about.”
The first stop was the Common Room, where everyone was cheerfully working or playing Gobstones or chess or something. James looked around to see who looked the most suspicious. Remus thought that everyone seemed fairly normal, except the fact that they were smiling about writing essays, but followed as James approached the least normal-looking person.
Apparently, Lily Evans looked suspicious. Either that or James wanted to annoy her. Either way, Lily was the person James walked up to.
“What is it, Potter?” Lily asked without her usual sarcasm.
“Well, Evans, there’s some fiend who’s spiking the pumpkin juice with a Perky Potion,” James explained. “And I’m trying to find out who. Any ideas?”
“Whom,” Lily corrected. “And no, I don’t. But as long as you’re playing detective, you should have the right equipment.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a funny looking hat, a toy pipe, and a glass with a handle on it and handed all these items to James, making sure to put the hat on his head�”a difficult feat since James was desperately in need of a haircut as usual.
“What’s all this for?” James asked as Remus burst out laughing.
“Detecting!” Lily said happily. “Now people will take you seriously!”
“Lily,” Remus said gently. “Why don’t you go to the library?”
“Oh! The library!” Lily said. “It has books! I love books!” She turned and skipped out of the room.
“Okay, James,” Remus said. “You’re right. Something is definitely weird.”
“See?” James said. “And what’s this?” He held up the glass.
“It’s a magnifying glass. Muggles use it to make small things appear bigger. It helps find things like dust and traces and stuff.”
“And the rest of it?”
“I think it’s more for effect than anything else,” Remus said. “My mum used to read me stories about a detective who wore that type of hat and carried a pipe, although why Evans was carrying them around in her bag…”
“What’s a detective?”
“Muggle Auror,” Remus explained. “You know, it would be easier if you just took your Invisibility Cloak and hung around the kitchens to see who’s spiking the juice rather than interrogate people.”
“True,” James said. “But that potion lasts weeks without reinforcement! Whoever’s doing it may not be putting it in every day!”
“Well, then, whenever we aren’t in class, you can hang around the kitchens and try to figure out who the Sunshine Scoundrel is,” Remus said. “After all, he may not be a Gryffindor�”or even a student!”
James saw the point. “All right, Remus,” he said. “We’ll do that.”
There wasn’t much opportunity to hang about the kitchens, though. James had regular lessons plus homework, which meant that he could only watch the pumpkin juice during breaks, meals, and after hours.
But James wasn’t going to admit defeat easily. He started keeping watch over the pumpkin juice all through the night, trying not to drift off.
“How are you still getting the best marks if you keep falling asleep in class?” Remus asked. Now that he knew that something was definitely weird, he too had stopped drinking the pumpkin juice.
“I’m just a genius,” James answered, stifling a yawn. “Besides, everyone falls asleep in History of Magic.”
“Too true,” Remus admitted. “But if you fall asleep on McGonagall, you’ll be in detention and won’t be able to keep watch.”
James nodded. “If only we had some clue… anything that would indicate who or what we’re looking for…”
“Here’s an idea,” Sirius said, leaning over Peter’s slumbering form. “Forget it. Everyone feels great, including the teachers. Heck, use this to your advantage! McGonagall may be in a good enough mood not to put you in detention for being a prat as usual.”
“So?” James asked.
“So we can do anything we like and the teachers will laugh for a change!” Sirius said, the old maniacal glint in his eye. “Just think, James! We could paint the Slytherins orange and they wouldn’t care! We could ride our brooms all over the castle! Heck, we could enchant the Bludgers to follow Snape around everywhere and we’d get away scot free!”
“That’s not the point!” James hissed back. “You don’t pull pranks and not get away with it. Getting caught is half the fun!”
“Well, all we know is that this person is absolutely brilliant,” Remus said. “I mean, if Dumbledore doesn’t know about this…”
“That’s it!” James cried, forgetting that he was in class. Luckily, it was History of Magic, so most people were asleep and Professor Binns didn’t even look up. “Dumbledore! We ask Dumbledore what’s going on!”
“Do you really think he’ll know about this?” Remus asked.
“Dumbledore’s the most brilliant wizard who’s ever lived,” James pointed out. “If he doesn’t know what’s going on, we have no chance of figuring it out.”
“One problem,” Sirius said. “We don’t know where his office is. We’ve never done anything bad enough to be sent there.”
“It can’t be that hard to figure out,” James said. “I mean, he’s the Headmaster. He has to be fairly accessible to the students.”
“All right, James,” Remus said. “You go see Dumbledore after classes are done.”
Unfortunately, that was no easy feat. James had no idea where Dumbledore’s office was and the only people he knew of who would have been there were teachers, and he certainly wasn’t going to try and explain all of this to McGonagall.
“If only there was a map of Hogwarts,” James muttered as he tried to decide which floor to try.
“Potter!” Lucy Jenkins, one of the other Gryffindor chasers, was striding toward James. “Anny’s calling emergency practice tonight. Last minute tactics against Slytherin and all.”
“As in, right now?” James said, feeling distinctly annoyed.
“Of course right now!” Jenkins said. “When did you think, next April?”
“Okay, I’m coming,” James sighed. “Incidentally,” he added. “Do you know where Dumbledore’s office is?”
“Seventh floor, behind the stone gargoyle,” Jenkins answered. “Why?”
“Just curious,” James muttered. “I mean, it’s useful information to have, isn’t it?”
“I suppose,” Jenkins sighed. “Well, come on.”
Drugged pumpkin juice or not, Anny’s Quidditch mania had not lessened one bit, and while being overly-optimistic about the team was an improvement, it did get annoying after a while.
“Slytherin’s got a good team,” she admitted brightly. “But we’ve got a better team! And we can show them what we can do!”
James and Remus exchanged a glance. Anny being perky was just a little bit too weird.
“How long is this going to take?” James muttered after several minutes. “I need to see Dumbledore before tomorrow.”
“She has to let us go before eight, because that’s when we have to be in our dorms,” Remus said quietly. “And I think you’ll be excused if you’re talking to Dumbledore.”
James nodded and tried to concentrate on the practice, but it was difficult when all he could think about was the Sunshine Scoundrel, and he ended up playing worse than anyone else.
“What’s with you, Potter?” Anny asked when they were finished. “You’re normally top form.”
“Nothing,” James said quickly. “School anxiety. We have a big test in Potions next week.”
“Oh,” Anny said. “If that’s all.”
As soon as he could, James put away his Quidditch gear and dashed back up to the castle. He went straight to the seventh floor and found the stone gargoyle that Jenkins had described. He looked at it. Now what?
“Er…” he said. “How do I go up?”
“Password,” the gargoyle said.
“I don’t know the password,” James said. “But I really need to see Professor Dumbledore. Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, move aside so I can see him quickly?”
The gargoyle didn’t move. James sighed in frustration and tried to think of what Dumbledore would use as a password. Unfortunately, James’s contact with the headmaster thus far had been negligible and James had no idea what to guess about Dumbledore.
It had to be something memorable, that was certain, but it also needed to be something that couldn’t be easily guessed.
James started pacing up and down the corridor, saying random words to the gargoyle, though it still didn’t budge. He was just starting to think about giving up and asking McGonagall for help when the gargoyle suddenly jumped aside and the wall opened to reveal what looked like a stone escalator with Dumbledore himself standing there.
“Good evening, James,” he said as though they had made an appointment. “Won’t you step up?”
“Oh… Professor, I needed to see you…”
“Obviously, or you would not be standing at the bottom of my stairs muttering,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “Come.”
James stepped onto the stone steps and the escalator carried them upstairs to an oak door with a knocker in the shape of a griffin. Dumbledore opened the door and led James inside.
The office was a handsome room with a highly polished desk, behind which was a shelf where the Sorting Hat sat. There was also a gold perch where a phoenix sat. Everywhere were little spindly tables with strange instruments whirring away on them. Dumbledore sat down behind the desk and James sat down across from him.
“So, James,” Dumbledore said. “Why did you come to see me tonight?”
“Because something’s going on, Professor,” James said. “Everyone’s been acting ridiculously perky recently. I tested the pumpkin juice and someone’s been adding a potion to it that’s creating this mood and I want to know who’s doing it because I don’t think it’s a good idea for everyone in the entire school to be unreasonably cheerful all the time.”
Dumbledore smiled. “Well, James, I must congratulate you! Out of several hundred students, you’re the only one who became even remotely suspicious, but I never thought that you would have the ingenuity to test the pumpkin juice!”
“Excuse me?” James said, thoroughly confused.
“I had intended it as a test for the older students,” Dumbledore continued. “A bit of an experiment, so to speak. All the teachers agreed to it. But the older students didn’t notice anything… tell me, James, are you a naturally suspicious person?”
“No, sir,” James said. “But… what was all that again?”
“It was Professor Zephyr’s idea, actually. See if we could interfere with the student body without anyone noticing.”
“I see,” James said. “So now that I’ve figured it out…”
“Oh, we’ll stop. It’s just a bit of a shame that a few more of your classmates didn’t figure it out.”
“Thank you, Professor,” James said, very wrong-footed. “So everyone will get back to normal now?”
“Well, after the potion wears off. We put the last dose in this morning so everyone will come down off of it in a few weeks.” Dumbledore looked at the clock. “And now, James, I believe it is time for you to be back in your dormitory.”
“Yes, sir.” James stood up and left the office.
“So it was the teachers?” Remus said the next morning once James had finished explaining what had happened.
“They wanted to test us,” James said. “And I was the only one who noticed something was wrong. But everything should be back to normal soon.”
“It’s weird, though, Professor Z coming up with something like that,” Sirius said. “I mean, I sort of understand, but it’s a strange concept all around.”
“Oh, never mind that,” James said. “We have work to do. Halloween’s this Tuesday and we need to be prepared.”
Sirius grinned. “After all,” he said. “Everyone needs a reminder that no potion can outdo the great Marauders!”