Killin time

[butterflyskulls]

I seen Jordan and Jenna and Jace last night.
Jace asked Jordan if I was going to go home with them.
I always want to tell him yes.

He's getting so big. too big for me to carry anymore. which makes me sad.
Jenna's thirteen today. she's gotten so beautiful it almost makes me cry. every time I see her I just think of when I first seen her in her little car seat.

I want to paint.
I want to paint the same thing I wanted to paint for the past couple months now.
I want a room with a lock that only I have a key to.
I want it to be white with a sink and a window that has a view to nothing.
I want the floor to also be white. only for me to color it with bits of paint that falls from my brush. because I love the look of it.

I want to want to sleep at night.
not just when I'm tired but because that's what I'm supposed to want.
I want to live where I can walk to little shops and buy every little weird thing I don't need.
I want to...
I'm not even sure anymore.
this could all be wrong in the morning.
this could be right on.

only me and my mom are awake.
always me and my mom....

oh, I want glass bottles.