I will be throwing a party when Bill O'Reilly dies.
The O'Reilly Factor is a talk show on FOX News, one which has arguably the largest viewer ship in America. The host of Factor, Bill O'Reilly, is commonly known to be a wacko conservative blowhard with an aggravating hybrid of a "hate me or love me, I don't care" attitude and an "I AM RIGHT GRAWR YOU DIE" attitude. Despite all of this, he still claims his show is a "No Spin Zone," meaning he either draws sustenance from his lies, or he has multiple personalities. Or both. O'Reilly's constant attacks on anything and everything provide us with numerous gems, one of which hit close to home when he directed a particularly vicious campaign against San Francisco for two recently passed ordinances. It really took little effort to discover Bill's slip-ups in his constant spewing of acid and lies, though the doctors say my retinas are still scarred from watching his show. In any case, here they are, ugly machinations laid out into the light.
O'Reilly's latest outburst has turned some onlookers who might have been previously bemused at his buffoonery into active opponents of his agenda. His high-profile flogging of San Francisco's decision on military recruiters in middle schools and high schools has garnered many new Bay Area enemies for Bill.
"I'm from New York,” O’Reilly said on the radio November 11th. “There are dozens of people in my neighborhood, on Long Island, who are dead because of 9/11, and you people are telling me you're not going to allow military recruiting out there. Hey, it's serious, and I think you guys need a wake-up call. And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, 'look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower, go ahead.'"
In an attempt to cover up his unwarranted lashing of San Francisco, Bill ranted about "leftist smear websites" which distort the news by "print[ing] analysis that distort[s] someone's position on an issue by taking it out of context, reporting humor as being serious, or flat-out lying about tone and substance."
I didn't think someone so sensitive to San Francisco's decision would start a humorous piece out with "there are dozens of people in my neighborhood, on Long Island, who are dead because of 9/11." Ha. Funny.
Never mind the inflammatory rhetoric - let's take a look at the facts, or lack thereof. While the spawn of Bill's remarks is a law recently passed in San Francisco hailed as "anti-military" by its detractors, CBS describes the law as "discouraging public schools from allowing military recruiters on campus." That could hardly be described as not allowing military recruiting. Recruiters will still be allowed to recruit in every other public place they currently can. Malls, on the streets, career fairs, college fairs, offices on college campuses, and their own recruiting offices are all among the places the military can recruit from. Schools may be a prime source of fresh recruits, but recruiters can still get students' phone numbers and addresses under the No Child Left Behind Act and attempt recruitment in that manner. Recruiters can still market directly to prospective recruits without going through the school system, meaning that students are still a prime market for recruiting.
In a debate on his show, O'Reilly can easily beat down anyone that opposes him with his schoolyard bully tactics, and any pro-San Francisco guest that found his or herself on the Factor would be all but doomed. Is he really that strong outside of his familiar bastions of rhetoric, though?
Jon Stewart had Bill O'Reilly as a guest on an October episode of his show, The Daily Show, and repeatedly trumped any of his feisty guest's attempts at arguing with him.
Of course, Bill has attempted to return the favor when Stewart was on The O'Reilly Factor, by citing a statistic that 87% of Daily Show viewers were intoxicated when they watched Stewart's show. That's quite a claim. A Google search for "study of Daily Show viewers" turned up a huge number of studies suggesting that Daily Show viewers were, in fact, better informed than those that watched national news, read newspapers, and those that watched The O'Reilly Factor. There was no mention whatsoever of Daily Show viewers being intoxicated while watching Jon Stewart's show.
Of course, Bill doesn't always lie. Sometimes he doesn't need to lie to get an intelligent viewer really pissed off. It makes it so much easier on me, actually. Instead of going onto his own site to root out contradictions, I can just scream and yell and froth at the television. In his November 21 "Talking Points," O'Reilly quotes The Washington Times on the perceived "failure of will" in the War on Terror. The article claims the American public is not ready for the sacrifice that comes with a brutal war, and that we don't demand enough from our timid (a.k.a. Democratic) politicians. Wait, what? I thought the war was over! What about Our Holy President landing on the aircraft carrier in supreme triumph? What about "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"? You mean we're not done? Really? Well, dang. Time to martyr some more of the young men and women trapped in the military.
Predictably, O'Reilly agrees with the Times article. He even boldly calls for a George Patton-like figure to lead us against "Islamofacism." Why did I put "Islamofacism" in quotes? Because Bill said it. That's right. Islamofacism.
You know, I actually agree with Bill. We do need a Pattonesque leader to command us. We need another West Point reject. We need another man who almost got himself persecuted for war crimes after telling his men to take no prisoners. We need a real leader, one who will threaten to shoot one of his own men under the pretense soldiers were using "combat fatigue" as an excuse to dodge battles. If only we could find a man who will just punch his soldier in the face, instead of shooting him, thereby requiring a cover up to avoid a court martial. We are in dire need of another man who will proclaim it is the right of the USA and the UK to rule the world, thus alienating the entire UN. That is the kind of leader we need.
Actually, that's starting to sound familiar. We really don't need that, so I shouldn't invoke such wishes. A leftist smear website might portray my humor as a serious recommendation!
At least Bill is honest sometimes. As he said in his November 3 "Talking Points," he admitted "we...[are] practicing a kind of facism." Okay, that quote was taken completely out of context. However, concerning California's Prop 73, he claimed it would "allow girls of any age to...be dealt a huge blow." Alright, I warped that quote, too. I'm sounding too much like Bill O'Reilly now, so I'll just stop.
O'Reilly's latest outburst has turned some onlookers who might have been previously bemused at his buffoonery into active opponents of his agenda. His high-profile flogging of San Francisco's decision on military recruiters in middle schools and high schools has garnered many new Bay Area enemies for Bill.
"I'm from New York,” O’Reilly said on the radio November 11th. “There are dozens of people in my neighborhood, on Long Island, who are dead because of 9/11, and you people are telling me you're not going to allow military recruiting out there. Hey, it's serious, and I think you guys need a wake-up call. And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, 'look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower, go ahead.'"
In an attempt to cover up his unwarranted lashing of San Francisco, Bill ranted about "leftist smear websites" which distort the news by "print[ing] analysis that distort[s] someone's position on an issue by taking it out of context, reporting humor as being serious, or flat-out lying about tone and substance."
I didn't think someone so sensitive to San Francisco's decision would start a humorous piece out with "there are dozens of people in my neighborhood, on Long Island, who are dead because of 9/11." Ha. Funny.
Never mind the inflammatory rhetoric - let's take a look at the facts, or lack thereof. While the spawn of Bill's remarks is a law recently passed in San Francisco hailed as "anti-military" by its detractors, CBS describes the law as "discouraging public schools from allowing military recruiters on campus." That could hardly be described as not allowing military recruiting. Recruiters will still be allowed to recruit in every other public place they currently can. Malls, on the streets, career fairs, college fairs, offices on college campuses, and their own recruiting offices are all among the places the military can recruit from. Schools may be a prime source of fresh recruits, but recruiters can still get students' phone numbers and addresses under the No Child Left Behind Act and attempt recruitment in that manner. Recruiters can still market directly to prospective recruits without going through the school system, meaning that students are still a prime market for recruiting.
In a debate on his show, O'Reilly can easily beat down anyone that opposes him with his schoolyard bully tactics, and any pro-San Francisco guest that found his or herself on the Factor would be all but doomed. Is he really that strong outside of his familiar bastions of rhetoric, though?
Jon Stewart had Bill O'Reilly as a guest on an October episode of his show, The Daily Show, and repeatedly trumped any of his feisty guest's attempts at arguing with him.
Of course, Bill has attempted to return the favor when Stewart was on The O'Reilly Factor, by citing a statistic that 87% of Daily Show viewers were intoxicated when they watched Stewart's show. That's quite a claim. A Google search for "study of Daily Show viewers" turned up a huge number of studies suggesting that Daily Show viewers were, in fact, better informed than those that watched national news, read newspapers, and those that watched The O'Reilly Factor. There was no mention whatsoever of Daily Show viewers being intoxicated while watching Jon Stewart's show.
Of course, Bill doesn't always lie. Sometimes he doesn't need to lie to get an intelligent viewer really pissed off. It makes it so much easier on me, actually. Instead of going onto his own site to root out contradictions, I can just scream and yell and froth at the television. In his November 21 "Talking Points," O'Reilly quotes The Washington Times on the perceived "failure of will" in the War on Terror. The article claims the American public is not ready for the sacrifice that comes with a brutal war, and that we don't demand enough from our timid (a.k.a. Democratic) politicians. Wait, what? I thought the war was over! What about Our Holy President landing on the aircraft carrier in supreme triumph? What about "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"? You mean we're not done? Really? Well, dang. Time to martyr some more of the young men and women trapped in the military.
Predictably, O'Reilly agrees with the Times article. He even boldly calls for a George Patton-like figure to lead us against "Islamofacism." Why did I put "Islamofacism" in quotes? Because Bill said it. That's right. Islamofacism.
You know, I actually agree with Bill. We do need a Pattonesque leader to command us. We need another West Point reject. We need another man who almost got himself persecuted for war crimes after telling his men to take no prisoners. We need a real leader, one who will threaten to shoot one of his own men under the pretense soldiers were using "combat fatigue" as an excuse to dodge battles. If only we could find a man who will just punch his soldier in the face, instead of shooting him, thereby requiring a cover up to avoid a court martial. We are in dire need of another man who will proclaim it is the right of the USA and the UK to rule the world, thus alienating the entire UN. That is the kind of leader we need.
Actually, that's starting to sound familiar. We really don't need that, so I shouldn't invoke such wishes. A leftist smear website might portray my humor as a serious recommendation!
At least Bill is honest sometimes. As he said in his November 3 "Talking Points," he admitted "we...[are] practicing a kind of facism." Okay, that quote was taken completely out of context. However, concerning California's Prop 73, he claimed it would "allow girls of any age to...be dealt a huge blow." Alright, I warped that quote, too. I'm sounding too much like Bill O'Reilly now, so I'll just stop.