(no subject)
I can't kid myself into believing that "James" trusts me. I did what I did, and bought myself some time. It's come to point where I have, in a way, accepted what I am. Who I am. I can't run away. Mary will always be me. Her feeling, her grief. I've felt what I'd dealt upon others come back to me, and I just can't deny this identity that fights me. It sounds insane. It's not something that I'm willing to speak about with anyone.
What am I? I'm...real. I might not be quite human, as stupid as that sounds. I'm different from Mary in some ways, but so similar in others. I don't want to...give into that other side of me. I've accepted it, but I don't want it to resurface again. However, with this "James". I feel I might have no choice but to utilise it.
Use what I 'am', against him.
What I'm afraid of is that...when I kill him...if I kill him, my James will never come back...right? I don't understand what this ..'current James' is, or why he's here, or why he changed. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. But if I kill him, he'll be gone. Obviously.
Can I really go ahead with it?
James..I'm sorry for what I did to you.
James...The one Mary knew...The one we knew. Please come back. I loved him, and I'd do anything to get him back.
Give us strength. I need help in this time...