TAT (11/?)
11
This isn’t New Moon; you can’t just leave him and expect him to be better off without you
Sitting in Kibum’s room, it was killing him. Last night he had to sing the poor boy to sleep, and wake up whenever he did. But taking care of him wasn’t the problem. It was the Taemin thing that bothered him. He couldn’t believe… it actually happened. Someone found out, and freaked. It was awful.
He fell asleep on Kibum’s beanbag… for a while. He got up and inspected the room, as if memorizing it for the last time; and some tiny part of him said that it would be. He looked through the tiny drawers of the vanity. It held a few loose pictures of Taemin and Kibum, ones that were so beautifully natural it should’ve been scrapbooked. Jonghyun always itched when he saw them, like he felt a different vibe when they were together.
He crept over to the bureau and looked at the painted ceramic projects and collage of pictures. Each of them had a specific corner: Minho, Taemin, and even Jinki. In Jinki’s corner held a bobble head from the annual Brookfield fair; the one that was coming up near New Years. Minho’s corner showed off a sparkly red ribbon from their freshmen swim meet, a drawn picture of their friendship bracelet, and a clay heart; they were really close. Taemin’s was different; he had a variety of things that varied from pendants to charms that fell off Kibum’s charm bracelet he got for Christmas, buttons with weird patterns, and snippets of goofy pictures all in a suede box.
Jonghyun didn’t have a corner. He had a drawer. The whole top drawer was filled with his stuff. Outgrown t-shirts, baby towels, samples of body spray and lotion, and even his lucky jersey from flag football from middle school-Kibum said he liked it and Jonghyun automatically gave it to him without a second thought. He always wanted to shower him with whatever he wanted; nothing ever had a limit. He was sure that he was obsessed with the younger one, but, he couldn’t explain the feelings he had anymore.
This was for the best. It was for Kibum’s social appearance, to give him the best. Yeah, he was doing this for Kibum, not for his own feelings.
He left.
*
“Hey… Hyun, I just wanted to know if you weren’t too busy to come over. I uh, left you a few messages… earlier. Call me back A.S.A.P, love Kibum.” He tapped his phone to end it and threw it on the bedspread.
Seven calls, four voice messages, eight texts; that was his record for the day starting from 11am when he woke up, to 10pm. He seemed pathetic, needy; he hated how weak he sounded.
He took his phone and opened his door. He walked down the stairs, catching a glimpse of his raw red eye bags that seemed to go all-round like a marathon. He winced; did Jonghyun think I was too puffy?
He self-consciously fixed his hair and jumped off the last few steps. He padded into the kitchen in search of something to fix his dehydration. All that crying really wore him out.
He grabbed a pitcher of Tropicana OJ and chugged it. He threw the container in the sink, filling it up with water. He wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and took his phone out. He pressed on the screen and flipped through the calendar. He had swimming practice on Monday, as well as DJ with Minho. It wasn’t much.
Saturdays weren’t something to be alone for, but he was. He opened the drawer next to the kitchen table and took his textbook out. He flipped to chapter 4 to refresh his memory.
As much as he tried to forget the even that happened last night, he couldn’t. He kept seeing Taemin’s furious face, paired with beads of sweat. He saw him slap Jonghyun in the face, hard. He remembered how his back ached from the beating he received. He remembered wanting to fall through the floor and just die; anything was better than seeing Taemin like that. But why? Why did he have so much hate because they were gay? It didn’t make a lot of sense in Kibum’s mind.
Ding Dong
He marched up to the door, ready to jump on Jonghyun. But when he opened it, Minho stood there.
“Hey.” Kibum opened the door wider so he could come in.
Minho went into the kitchen and sat on the wobbly stool. He crossed his arms over each other and rested his head aloof. “I’m so sorry about last night, Kibum.”
“You couldn’t stop it if you could. Want some juice?”
“You cried last night, didn’t you?”
Kibum nodded, leaning in closer to let him inspect the bags. “I only remember crying… I don’t even know how I got home.”
“Jonghyun.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured.”
Kibum poured two cups of Naked juice and handed one to the latter. He awkwardly sipped, pausing with the cup to his mouth. He watched Minho take his phone out after it made a blriiing noise.
“Who’s that?”
“Yuri.”
“Your sister?”
“Stepsister.”
“Oh, what did she want?”
“Pick up… you know… her mother nature stuff.”
“What does she use?” Kibum cocked his head curiously.
“Tampons… mind going with me? I really don’t want to go by myself.”
“Not like I have anything to do around here.”
*
Kibum lingered next to the cart, his hand glued to the metal side. Minho was strolling down the cookie aisle for a movie night at Minho’s. They had movie nights on Friday, never on Saturdays, but this was a small exception. It was only them two anyways.
Minho picked a box of Chips Ahoy up and shook it. “Didn’t you used to love these last year?”
That was Kibum’s best friend for you. “Yeah… used to.”
Minho let the cookies tumble into the cart as he moved forward. They went through every aisle, inspecting every item-this took an hour and some minutes.
“Tampax pearl… isn’t that the one with the lady in the hounds tooth business clothes?” Kibum asked rhetorically, picking the small box up and turning it to the back.
Minho couldn’t believe he was listening to his friend ask about periods. It was hysterical. He groaned when Kibum stacked two boxes of various brands in his face. He pushed them away. Kibum bumped hips as if he were… flirting.
“Ahem.”
Minho looked up, meeting the girl’s eyes. Little Krystal Jung alone in the supermarket? Impossible.
Minho stepped away from the carriage and sauntered up to the girl. He could see Kibum still looking intensely at the tampons from the store’s security mirror that hung on the top of the shelf. He pulled Krystal into a deep hug-as deep as he could get since he shopping basket was blocking partially.
“How have you been, Krystal?”
She rocked on her heels. “Fine oppa, no need to worry.”
“Ah, my little Jung. It’s been a while since anyone called me oppa.” And he squeezed her again.
Her smiled looked forced, but Minho shook it off. She looked in Kibum’s direction. “Shopping with Kib…”
“Kibum?”
“Yeah… Kibum.” She blushed furiously.
An awkward silence passed them. “Hey, do you use tampons?”
“Wha-what?”
“Yuri called me to run a period errand and she uses them… but we don’t really know which one we should get.”
“Oh… oh! Yeah, the uh, I think that the new ones with neon colors are nice.”
Minho pulled her by the arm and locked his arm around her waist. As he walked closer Krystal could feel her heart beating faster. What if Kibum knew what she did? What if he scolded her in front of the public? No, no that couldn’t happen; he being gay was much worse.
Krystal felt a leap of confidence shoot through her as she surrounded her arms around the boy. They came in spitting distance of the other boy and stopped.
“Having trouble with those?” she asked bitterly… almost bitchily. This was where she belonged. She belong with them; Taemin, Minho, and Jonghyun.
Kibum turned, first looking at the human glue, then at the haughty look Krystal showed. He felt his muscles tense as he looked into Minho’s eyes; they were full of adoration for the girl. Kibum couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Uh… ye-yeah.”
Krystal pointed to a black box with popping bright colors. “Those are by far the best I’ve used. They’re new so Yuri should try them out if she hasn’t already.”
She flipped her hair to the side and Kibum could see her hot pink bra strap. It was lacy and had cream stilettos covering certain areas. His mom got the same one from Victoria Secrets last weekend. He remembers screaming out ‘Fashion Terrorist’ when he saw it under her white Bebe tank top, but he refused to challenge Krystal with those two words. She sent chilling glares down his spine, and he still had no idea why.
And as if things couldn’t get worse. “We’re having a movie night tonight, Krystal, want to join?”
Krystal acknowledges Kibum’s desperate pout to Minho. She snickered knowingly until she playfully hit the broad chest. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Wonderful.” Minho turned his gaze onto Kibum five seconds too late. “Ready to checkout?”
Being mute, Kibum nodded. He pushed the cart behind the giggling couple, being uncomfortable as the third wheel.
*
“I’ll go in the kitchen and put all the snacks in plates. Why don’t you and Krystal go set up the movie?” Minho asked.
Kibum almost drowned in self-pity. He nodded anyways, following the younger girl up the stairs. She seemed to know where everything was, and how to work it, as if it was her house and not Minho’s.
He sat down on the bed. She suddenly turned, remote in hand, sitting on a baseball-looking beanbag. She gave a warm smile to Kibum-which was wildly different from the ones she gave him during the check-out line.
“I heard about you and Jonghyun oppa.”
There it was. Sympathy he never asked for.
“How’d you find out?” he asked blankly.
“My sister,” she started,” But, do you have any idea of who spilled?”
He hesitated. What was this girl digging for?
“Not a clue,” I say shaking my head,” Do you?”
“Nada.” The sudden Spanish surprised him, but only for a second.
“Well thanks for, you know, caring.”
She snorted. Had she thought it was funny? Kibum turned to the screen which had a commercial of a little animal riding in the backseat with one of those windmill looking things hanging out the window. Kibum gave a low chuckle, too.
But Krystal was definitely laughing at Kibum.