(no subject)
i see this wall you're building. its been there for a while now. i didn't think much of it then because i was busy with other things. i was busy with keeping you out of my life. and for the most of it i think that went well. and then i started thinking about you more. i see you're happy and im constantly looking for signs, tell tales that you're not. its almost like i wanna see you down and hurt. so i can step in and be that person for you. the one who for no reason, puts a smile on your face. the one who hugs you and suddenly nothing is evil in the world. the one hand you hold and feel like you can fly. the person you were to me. the person i still want you to be. i'm done with thinking and believing that it was a mess i could have saved. i'm done trying to figure out where i got it all wrong. i'm done with seeing images of us in my mind and smiling without realizing teardrops in my eyes. i'm done with moments that only seem to happen in the movies. i'm done believing in you. but i can never be done with you. because you're never gone. sure you're not the same person, sure we hardly ever talk anymore. but you're not gone. you appear a little too often in my dreams. i gotta admit that sometimes i go to bed wishing i'd see you in my dream. but thats only because i miss you that much. but let me tell you this, you never appear when i wish you would. most of the time you catch me by surprise and i wake up in tears. of course they aren't all bad dreams. in fact i can safely say i dream only good dreams of you. but the tears come when it hits me that it was all only just a dream. and thats always the case, isn't it? you're never there when i need you to and i'm never there when you reach out to me. i think we're sad and twisted like that. i think we're just lost in our ways. i think the universe don't like us together. its like wanting something but never getting the right way towards it. because maybe you're not supposed to get it. maybe, just only maybe we're not meant to be. and honestly, i don't like the sound of that. not at all. see, the universe brought us together. we didn't ask for that part to happen. and what it brought was magic. but somehow, along the way, we lost it all.