(no subject)
Life is such a joke. I'm happy. I'm sad. I don't know how I feel. I don't know how to feel. Fasting month have been surprisingly easy for me. Sure there's the occasional break downs, just thinking of the first day of Raya. I don't even know what to do on the first day of Raya now. It used to be the awesome routine of visiting the paternal grandma for a bit and then off to the maternal grandma for pretty much the rest of the day. But I don't know where to go anymore. I miss my maternal grandma so badly, there are days I find myself wondering what she's doing and then it hits me that I'd never see her again and it still hurts just the same. The images of the last 3 days of her life is still so vivid and clear to me and every single time I see it playing in mind I feel like part of me is being taken away again and again.