What if Christmas he thought doesnt come from a store.What if Christmas perhaps means a little more?
that was a quote from the grinch. ha. secretly i think he's adorable. :)
I am so excited. I just gave my parents thier Christmas gift. Me and my brothers got them a dishwasher. They haven't had one for years because it broke and then they always needed something more so they just kept putting it on the backburner. It's really amazing how much you can take a machine doing your dishes for you for granted! But I was so excited. I got my mom out of the house while they delivered and installed it and everything. It was hard, but we pulled it off. :) I was so freaking excited I was screaming and jumping up and down the whole way home and until they saw it. If you know me, you know I typically don't get this super psyched about things. I totally was thrilled. I love giving gifts more than anything in the world. It makes my whole world smile.
On a much much darker note, my brother's gf lost her father over the holiday. The viewing was last night and as soon as I walked in, I just lost it. She was so sad. Viewings are ridiculous to begin with, but this one damn near killed me. Then as I peed in the little cold funeral home bathroom I pondered life and how it really is so short. You really do need to just LIVE it. And I want to do just that. Not take what I have for granted just because I don't have everything lined up for me. I want to appreciate everyone in my life even more than I already do. I want to tell people I love them all of the time no matter what. I don't want to forget the gifts I have been given. Sometimes it is hard when you are depressed to seperate yourself from your depression and still see the wonder in life, but I am trying! I just want to act on my heart and love as well and as big as I can always. I will. It is amazing how one person's death, one person who you don't even know personally can totally rock the way you think about life. I guess that's the gift in the sorrow?
I have been dreaming a lot lately. Like when I sleep and also just daydreaming tons. I've been thinking about my goals and how badly I want to achieve certain things in my life. I have set up three things that I want dearly and I will work on them slowly. I'm not getting any younger so I might as well look forward and stop bitching so much. :)
I went to iron hill with Ashley last night. It was nice and fun and much much needed. I've been uber stressed lately for a variety of reasons. But it was yummy and comforting and yes. :) Still want to go ghost hunting soon. I'm a dork. yis. am so.
I have been doing these psychic healings and this spiritual work a lot lately. My face is constantly on fire. Apparently this means that I am healing various part of my psyche. heh. you think i'm nuts, don't you?
I want to go to the gay soon and also to a concert and to something festive. Ellen invited me to visit as did Kate (again...i'm such a bad friend sometimes), so I really should get my ass moving to either NY or DC sometimes soon. Trying to get in the holiday "spirit". Anyone interested in helping me out, apply within.
this is all..
I am so excited. I just gave my parents thier Christmas gift. Me and my brothers got them a dishwasher. They haven't had one for years because it broke and then they always needed something more so they just kept putting it on the backburner. It's really amazing how much you can take a machine doing your dishes for you for granted! But I was so excited. I got my mom out of the house while they delivered and installed it and everything. It was hard, but we pulled it off. :) I was so freaking excited I was screaming and jumping up and down the whole way home and until they saw it. If you know me, you know I typically don't get this super psyched about things. I totally was thrilled. I love giving gifts more than anything in the world. It makes my whole world smile.
On a much much darker note, my brother's gf lost her father over the holiday. The viewing was last night and as soon as I walked in, I just lost it. She was so sad. Viewings are ridiculous to begin with, but this one damn near killed me. Then as I peed in the little cold funeral home bathroom I pondered life and how it really is so short. You really do need to just LIVE it. And I want to do just that. Not take what I have for granted just because I don't have everything lined up for me. I want to appreciate everyone in my life even more than I already do. I want to tell people I love them all of the time no matter what. I don't want to forget the gifts I have been given. Sometimes it is hard when you are depressed to seperate yourself from your depression and still see the wonder in life, but I am trying! I just want to act on my heart and love as well and as big as I can always. I will. It is amazing how one person's death, one person who you don't even know personally can totally rock the way you think about life. I guess that's the gift in the sorrow?
I have been dreaming a lot lately. Like when I sleep and also just daydreaming tons. I've been thinking about my goals and how badly I want to achieve certain things in my life. I have set up three things that I want dearly and I will work on them slowly. I'm not getting any younger so I might as well look forward and stop bitching so much. :)
I went to iron hill with Ashley last night. It was nice and fun and much much needed. I've been uber stressed lately for a variety of reasons. But it was yummy and comforting and yes. :) Still want to go ghost hunting soon. I'm a dork. yis. am so.
I have been doing these psychic healings and this spiritual work a lot lately. My face is constantly on fire. Apparently this means that I am healing various part of my psyche. heh. you think i'm nuts, don't you?
I want to go to the gay soon and also to a concert and to something festive. Ellen invited me to visit as did Kate (again...i'm such a bad friend sometimes), so I really should get my ass moving to either NY or DC sometimes soon. Trying to get in the holiday "spirit". Anyone interested in helping me out, apply within.
this is all..