Desperate - part 11
Title: Desperate - part 11
Status: umcompleted
Warning: none
“Do you have anything to say?” Hiroshi crossed him arms, probed.
Yamada kept gazing at him, felt like the earth was shrinking into a narrow sphere with only he and his friend within.
“Un…” Still could not tear his eyes from Hiroshi’s straight and interrogative gaze, he started. “I…” He yanked his head to the side to broke the attractive force of Hiroshi’s eyes which just wanted to suck the truth out of him. “This is so silly. Now that I think of it, if Im really to say it out loud...” He raised his voice “it will sound totally crap”
“So you do know him, huh?”. A incredulous look displayed on Hiroshi’s face.
Yamada turned to look at him again. “Yes, Im actually the cause of Ryoko’s pain. She’s the substitute of mine.” He exclaimed bravely.
“What?” A shock displayed on Hiroshi’s face.
“Im the girl that Nakajima keeps finding”
Hiroshi slackjawed. Then his eyes ran on Yamada’s body from head to toes. “You look… like boy?”
“Of course I am! Oh shit.”
The look on Hiroshi’s face made him felt like he was alien.
“Don’t keep looking at me! Im feeling stupid”
“Oh, okay” Hiroshi shook his head to clear his mind and straightened up. “I need some air”. He said while sucking in some. “Let’s go somewhere spacious”. He asked then went ahead. Yamada hesitantly followed him.
Inhaled a great deal of fresh air on the rooftop, Hiroshi found his composure back a little bit. He turned around, Yamada was still standing there, stared at him.
“Im ready”. He announced.
Yamada looked at him with blank expression. His hands in his pant pockets. He kept staring as if measured Hiroshi. Then he sighed, shifted his attention to the concrete foot of the fence which raised about four inches higher than the floor and large enough for an average bump. He came over and sat down.
“Where do you want to start?”
“The beginning. How do you know him? And why… girl… what..?” Hiroshi stopped as he could not find appropriate words to put his thoughts into words.
“We don’t really know each other. I know him and he knows me. Only that he doesn’t recognize me because in his mind, Im a girl”
“Okay” The final note of the word soared made it very much like a question.
“We came across each other when I came to visit my grandparents four years ago and somewhere on way he fell in love with me and wrote me a letter told me that he was loving me and gonna looking for me and would become a good man to…”. He said quickly as if fearing that a stop would block him forever again. "… deserve me and he did, as you see…" He paused to seek a sign of understanding from his audience.
The look Hiroshi gave him made him feel like he had just sneaked out of an asylum, the left corner of his mouth even lifted up in form of either mystification or scorn. Yamada decided to pick the later choice, he got up, started for the door.
“No!” Hiroshi shook himself out of his trance and chased after him. “No! Hold on! Keep speaking, Im trying you know!” He tugged at his upper arm and pulled him back. Yamada glowered at him.
“This is a pain in the ass and I’ll kick your butt and throw you out the fence if you dare embarass me”
“I did not and I won’t” He forced Yamada back on the concrete edge. “I see. You met him… no you came across him, which means you didn’t even met, did you?”
“Right”
“What do you mean “somewhere on the way”?
“Because I don’t know how, when, where and what sparked his persistent feeling for me. Oh Christ, what feeling. But yeah, I just ran past him on a play yard once, and that was all. Probably he saw in another occasion but Im not sure. We lost contact, not even a contact Gosh, completely since then.”
Hiroshi’s eyebrows knitted together into a tight knot. “That’s all?”
“That’s all”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Wow!” His face stretched. “I see”
“See what?”
“See why”
“Why?”
Hiroshi laughed out loud. His laughter kept going on for long time, reverberated through the air and blew up Yamada’s fury bubble. His eyes, set on the exasperated face, flashed fire.
“Im done with you” He exclaimed with dead seriousness.
“No, you must let me laugh.” He held his stomach to subside the pain caused by too much laughter. “The guy had fallen for your pretty face”
Yamada turned rocky silent, danger radiated from his eyes.
“Don’t make that face. You have to acknowledge the cause to figure out the solution. Okay, he love the “you” who no longer exists, but he is persistent so, he’s not gonna give up unless someone tells him the truth”
Yamada bit his bottom lip. Hiroshi waited for him to work the idea out patiently.
“I’ll tell him” Said Yamada, at last. Though he made his words sound as if he would really do it, but actually he just said it to estimate Hiroshi's understanding of the circumstance.
“You haven’t known how to talk to him" Hiroshi was caught. "I believe your story because I’ll believe just everything you say, but he’s different, you are not going to have this easy talk with him or even…” He paused to look for the right words. “… have a decent talk with him without him thinking you’re crazy”
“You’re right”
Yamada felt unusually relieved. It might have been his wisest decision to confide in Hiroshi. His friend could tell exactly what in his mind and had no discrimination against him after hearing his story so far. For once in his life, he thought his matter was going to be solved.
“Where’s you letter”
“It’s on a tree near my current house”
“Tree?”
“Yeah, it’s carved on the tree”
“Amazing”
Yamada scowled.
“I just talk” Hiroshi shrugged the joke away. “You don’t have a good relationship with him since we all met, so it’s hard. But on the other side, I noticed that he had had a crush on you again since he saw you during the early days in this school, that will be a good support. So, if you call him out… no, seriously, that won’t do. If it were me I would brushed you off like an insect. You need…” He hummed his index finger on his forehead, rummaged his brain for an idea.
“Someone who can talk to him and make him believe”
“That’s right” He thumbed his fist on the other palm. His face brightened up honestly. “A brigde”. But he could only come up to there, his heart sank as he realized who that would be.
“We can’t” Yamada shooked his head sadly.
***
Late that evening, Yuto lied on his bed, faced the ceiling, comtemplated the incident. There were things he did not mean to say, he wished he could have withdraw, especially the "torture" part, Ryoko was actually a very nice girl. He sighed. Suddenly, a knock on the door distracted him. He got up and came over to the door.
The atmosphere around the girl was dark as hell and almost visual and sensible to him that he instintively took a step backwards. The girl kept her face down.
“Nakamaru?” He uttered increduously.
“Fag”. Said her, cold as ice. Her eyes were totally covered by darkness and hostility.
Yuto stared at her, confused.
“Boy love is a sin” She raised her devil face to him, her eyes were like witch’s. “The son of the bitch is a boy, you two go hold each other in hell”. Her cruel words froze the air, Yuto felt a chill in his bone.
“Nakamaru, are you okay?” He grabbed her shoulder and shook. She slapped his hands away and moved back. “Serve you right” She continued, the corner of her mouth lifted up with contempt. “That Yamada guy is your delusion love, you have been mistaken him for a girl all these years. He know your miserable delusion for him and have been pitied you since the beginning. Poor you.”
Yuto went pale.
“Serve you right” Ryoko smirked, turned around in attempt to leave.
“What do you mean?” Yuto pulled her back, span her around and questioned. She yanked her arm away from his gip in apparent disgust. “Are you a moron? I said that Yamada guy is your delusion love. Go figure yourself, fag” Her tone could have pulled the temperature to under zero centigrade. The malice in her voice could have just poisoned anyone to death.
Yuto froze. Ryoko gave him another sneering smirk then departed. He watched her walked away, baffled. “What?” Certainly he had to go figure it out.
***
"Hey, girl"
Ryoko paused at the call. She whirled around, threat in her eyes.
"You'll scare us with that look you know?" Yuya took his hand out of the pocket and left the pole he was leaning against earlier. Somehow, he had managed to sneak to the dorm entrance to wait for her after eavesdropping the story between her and Yuto.
Ryoko appeared unaffected by Yuya's sudden interference. Probably nothing could ever surprise her again. She remained scarily cold and awaiting.
"Wanna team with me to play a game?" He lifted his chin at her, suggested.
She stared at him, emotionless, but attending.
***
When Ryoko returned home, it had already passed eight, the normal curfew of every household in the area. Hiroshi stood in the middle of the road in front of her house, arms folded over his chest, disapproved.
"Where did you go?"
Ryoko looked tired and crumpled. She answered her childhood friend with mindly challenging attitude. "Had some talk with my friend and wandered around to cool my mind, you don't have to worry". She moved pass him to get to the entrance to her house. "Friend? Who?" Hiroshi went after her to the yard. "Shiori". She lied. "I don't know you're that close to her". Doubted Hiroshi. Ryoko stopped and wheeled around to face him. "Not that close but I need someone who had no relation to that guy to talk to, and she happened to appear at the right time". She replied with bitterness. Hiroshi went speechless.
"Ryo-chan, look…"
"Don't ever call me that again". She said with devil disgust. "Im tired, we'll talk later, see you tomorrow". She turned and walked her bicycle to the garage, then went inside the house and closed the door, not even one glance back at Hiroshi.
Staring at the closed door, Hiroshi felt so helpless. He ruffled his head and groaned quietly, then went back to his house on the opposite side of the road.
Ryoko decided to skip dinner despite her mother's vain attempt to talk her into eating. She took a long bath. Standing under running water seemed to help washing away the pain, the mess, the confusion in her heart ,her mind. She felt more alert after getting rid of all the dirtiness. Returned to her room, she settled on her bed, arms folded over her knees, she gazed out of the window. The sky was clear, despite the moon was not present, the stars covered her mission perfectly. She indulged herself in the sweet balminess of the spring wind and relieved at the soothing effect it brought about. "Have I just traded my soul with devil?" Only being alone with silence and darkness could help her live true to herself. The evening came back torturing. Shiori was a lie because she did not want to get into fight with Hiroshi, the truth was that she had talked to Takaki Yuya. That guy held some sort of childish grudge against Nakajima Yuto and wanted her to team up with him in his revenge scheme. He was stupidly shallow, but he was also sly and stubborn. No matter she decided to play on his side or not, he would just go ahead and teach Yuto a lesson. "Isn't that just what I need". She remembered her thought at the time. Some how when she recalled the super satisfaction conjured up by the mere sight of those two going down to their knees and begged her for forgiveness, she felt disgusted with herself. She dropped her face among her arms."I was loving you so much". She started crying. The silent cry grew gradually into sob and ended with low growl as she tried to keep it as low as possible to prevent everyone from hearing. Her shoulder shook from time to time, her bedsheet slowly became damp.
Things are getting interesting KKKK Who has said: "Don't joke with a woman in love"?
Status: umcompleted
Warning: none
“Do you have anything to say?” Hiroshi crossed him arms, probed.
Yamada kept gazing at him, felt like the earth was shrinking into a narrow sphere with only he and his friend within.
“Un…” Still could not tear his eyes from Hiroshi’s straight and interrogative gaze, he started. “I…” He yanked his head to the side to broke the attractive force of Hiroshi’s eyes which just wanted to suck the truth out of him. “This is so silly. Now that I think of it, if Im really to say it out loud...” He raised his voice “it will sound totally crap”
“So you do know him, huh?”. A incredulous look displayed on Hiroshi’s face.
Yamada turned to look at him again. “Yes, Im actually the cause of Ryoko’s pain. She’s the substitute of mine.” He exclaimed bravely.
“What?” A shock displayed on Hiroshi’s face.
“Im the girl that Nakajima keeps finding”
Hiroshi slackjawed. Then his eyes ran on Yamada’s body from head to toes. “You look… like boy?”
“Of course I am! Oh shit.”
The look on Hiroshi’s face made him felt like he was alien.
“Don’t keep looking at me! Im feeling stupid”
“Oh, okay” Hiroshi shook his head to clear his mind and straightened up. “I need some air”. He said while sucking in some. “Let’s go somewhere spacious”. He asked then went ahead. Yamada hesitantly followed him.
Inhaled a great deal of fresh air on the rooftop, Hiroshi found his composure back a little bit. He turned around, Yamada was still standing there, stared at him.
“Im ready”. He announced.
Yamada looked at him with blank expression. His hands in his pant pockets. He kept staring as if measured Hiroshi. Then he sighed, shifted his attention to the concrete foot of the fence which raised about four inches higher than the floor and large enough for an average bump. He came over and sat down.
“Where do you want to start?”
“The beginning. How do you know him? And why… girl… what..?” Hiroshi stopped as he could not find appropriate words to put his thoughts into words.
“We don’t really know each other. I know him and he knows me. Only that he doesn’t recognize me because in his mind, Im a girl”
“Okay” The final note of the word soared made it very much like a question.
“We came across each other when I came to visit my grandparents four years ago and somewhere on way he fell in love with me and wrote me a letter told me that he was loving me and gonna looking for me and would become a good man to…”. He said quickly as if fearing that a stop would block him forever again. "… deserve me and he did, as you see…" He paused to seek a sign of understanding from his audience.
The look Hiroshi gave him made him feel like he had just sneaked out of an asylum, the left corner of his mouth even lifted up in form of either mystification or scorn. Yamada decided to pick the later choice, he got up, started for the door.
“No!” Hiroshi shook himself out of his trance and chased after him. “No! Hold on! Keep speaking, Im trying you know!” He tugged at his upper arm and pulled him back. Yamada glowered at him.
“This is a pain in the ass and I’ll kick your butt and throw you out the fence if you dare embarass me”
“I did not and I won’t” He forced Yamada back on the concrete edge. “I see. You met him… no you came across him, which means you didn’t even met, did you?”
“Right”
“What do you mean “somewhere on the way”?
“Because I don’t know how, when, where and what sparked his persistent feeling for me. Oh Christ, what feeling. But yeah, I just ran past him on a play yard once, and that was all. Probably he saw in another occasion but Im not sure. We lost contact, not even a contact Gosh, completely since then.”
Hiroshi’s eyebrows knitted together into a tight knot. “That’s all?”
“That’s all”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Wow!” His face stretched. “I see”
“See what?”
“See why”
“Why?”
Hiroshi laughed out loud. His laughter kept going on for long time, reverberated through the air and blew up Yamada’s fury bubble. His eyes, set on the exasperated face, flashed fire.
“Im done with you” He exclaimed with dead seriousness.
“No, you must let me laugh.” He held his stomach to subside the pain caused by too much laughter. “The guy had fallen for your pretty face”
Yamada turned rocky silent, danger radiated from his eyes.
“Don’t make that face. You have to acknowledge the cause to figure out the solution. Okay, he love the “you” who no longer exists, but he is persistent so, he’s not gonna give up unless someone tells him the truth”
Yamada bit his bottom lip. Hiroshi waited for him to work the idea out patiently.
“I’ll tell him” Said Yamada, at last. Though he made his words sound as if he would really do it, but actually he just said it to estimate Hiroshi's understanding of the circumstance.
“You haven’t known how to talk to him" Hiroshi was caught. "I believe your story because I’ll believe just everything you say, but he’s different, you are not going to have this easy talk with him or even…” He paused to look for the right words. “… have a decent talk with him without him thinking you’re crazy”
“You’re right”
Yamada felt unusually relieved. It might have been his wisest decision to confide in Hiroshi. His friend could tell exactly what in his mind and had no discrimination against him after hearing his story so far. For once in his life, he thought his matter was going to be solved.
“Where’s you letter”
“It’s on a tree near my current house”
“Tree?”
“Yeah, it’s carved on the tree”
“Amazing”
Yamada scowled.
“I just talk” Hiroshi shrugged the joke away. “You don’t have a good relationship with him since we all met, so it’s hard. But on the other side, I noticed that he had had a crush on you again since he saw you during the early days in this school, that will be a good support. So, if you call him out… no, seriously, that won’t do. If it were me I would brushed you off like an insect. You need…” He hummed his index finger on his forehead, rummaged his brain for an idea.
“Someone who can talk to him and make him believe”
“That’s right” He thumbed his fist on the other palm. His face brightened up honestly. “A brigde”. But he could only come up to there, his heart sank as he realized who that would be.
“We can’t” Yamada shooked his head sadly.
***
Late that evening, Yuto lied on his bed, faced the ceiling, comtemplated the incident. There were things he did not mean to say, he wished he could have withdraw, especially the "torture" part, Ryoko was actually a very nice girl. He sighed. Suddenly, a knock on the door distracted him. He got up and came over to the door.
The atmosphere around the girl was dark as hell and almost visual and sensible to him that he instintively took a step backwards. The girl kept her face down.
“Nakamaru?” He uttered increduously.
“Fag”. Said her, cold as ice. Her eyes were totally covered by darkness and hostility.
Yuto stared at her, confused.
“Boy love is a sin” She raised her devil face to him, her eyes were like witch’s. “The son of the bitch is a boy, you two go hold each other in hell”. Her cruel words froze the air, Yuto felt a chill in his bone.
“Nakamaru, are you okay?” He grabbed her shoulder and shook. She slapped his hands away and moved back. “Serve you right” She continued, the corner of her mouth lifted up with contempt. “That Yamada guy is your delusion love, you have been mistaken him for a girl all these years. He know your miserable delusion for him and have been pitied you since the beginning. Poor you.”
Yuto went pale.
“Serve you right” Ryoko smirked, turned around in attempt to leave.
“What do you mean?” Yuto pulled her back, span her around and questioned. She yanked her arm away from his gip in apparent disgust. “Are you a moron? I said that Yamada guy is your delusion love. Go figure yourself, fag” Her tone could have pulled the temperature to under zero centigrade. The malice in her voice could have just poisoned anyone to death.
Yuto froze. Ryoko gave him another sneering smirk then departed. He watched her walked away, baffled. “What?” Certainly he had to go figure it out.
***
"Hey, girl"
Ryoko paused at the call. She whirled around, threat in her eyes.
"You'll scare us with that look you know?" Yuya took his hand out of the pocket and left the pole he was leaning against earlier. Somehow, he had managed to sneak to the dorm entrance to wait for her after eavesdropping the story between her and Yuto.
Ryoko appeared unaffected by Yuya's sudden interference. Probably nothing could ever surprise her again. She remained scarily cold and awaiting.
"Wanna team with me to play a game?" He lifted his chin at her, suggested.
She stared at him, emotionless, but attending.
***
When Ryoko returned home, it had already passed eight, the normal curfew of every household in the area. Hiroshi stood in the middle of the road in front of her house, arms folded over his chest, disapproved.
"Where did you go?"
Ryoko looked tired and crumpled. She answered her childhood friend with mindly challenging attitude. "Had some talk with my friend and wandered around to cool my mind, you don't have to worry". She moved pass him to get to the entrance to her house. "Friend? Who?" Hiroshi went after her to the yard. "Shiori". She lied. "I don't know you're that close to her". Doubted Hiroshi. Ryoko stopped and wheeled around to face him. "Not that close but I need someone who had no relation to that guy to talk to, and she happened to appear at the right time". She replied with bitterness. Hiroshi went speechless.
"Ryo-chan, look…"
"Don't ever call me that again". She said with devil disgust. "Im tired, we'll talk later, see you tomorrow". She turned and walked her bicycle to the garage, then went inside the house and closed the door, not even one glance back at Hiroshi.
Staring at the closed door, Hiroshi felt so helpless. He ruffled his head and groaned quietly, then went back to his house on the opposite side of the road.
Ryoko decided to skip dinner despite her mother's vain attempt to talk her into eating. She took a long bath. Standing under running water seemed to help washing away the pain, the mess, the confusion in her heart ,her mind. She felt more alert after getting rid of all the dirtiness. Returned to her room, she settled on her bed, arms folded over her knees, she gazed out of the window. The sky was clear, despite the moon was not present, the stars covered her mission perfectly. She indulged herself in the sweet balminess of the spring wind and relieved at the soothing effect it brought about. "Have I just traded my soul with devil?" Only being alone with silence and darkness could help her live true to herself. The evening came back torturing. Shiori was a lie because she did not want to get into fight with Hiroshi, the truth was that she had talked to Takaki Yuya. That guy held some sort of childish grudge against Nakajima Yuto and wanted her to team up with him in his revenge scheme. He was stupidly shallow, but he was also sly and stubborn. No matter she decided to play on his side or not, he would just go ahead and teach Yuto a lesson. "Isn't that just what I need". She remembered her thought at the time. Some how when she recalled the super satisfaction conjured up by the mere sight of those two going down to their knees and begged her for forgiveness, she felt disgusted with herself. She dropped her face among her arms."I was loving you so much". She started crying. The silent cry grew gradually into sob and ended with low growl as she tried to keep it as low as possible to prevent everyone from hearing. Her shoulder shook from time to time, her bedsheet slowly became damp.
Things are getting interesting KKKK Who has said: "Don't joke with a woman in love"?