(no subject)
Christian has no idea how happy he makes me.
Do you like this picture better?
More importantly... do you like this guy better? Because I do, thank you.
Tell me he is not adorable and I will shake some sense into you. I am going through the same thing I went through a while ago again, only this time, it's definitely worse because I know what's going to happen! I'm not just taking a chance at something I'm not sure of anymore. I'm risking everything for something that I know will not work, and that's not even what disturbs me the most. I am deeply bothered by the fact that I am willingly giving him a right to hurt me. I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS. I should lead him on like I've done with every other guy I've known before he is even a mile away from meaning anything to me but a quick ego fix. But he's more than that. More than someone who makes me feel better by flattering the heck out of me. More than someone who entertains me with his vulnerability. More than someone who I just play around with because I know it won't last. Because you know what? THIS CAN LAST. It really, really can. At least, I want to. And that's something new. Kind of.
Do you like this picture better?
More importantly... do you like this guy better? Because I do, thank you.
Tell me he is not adorable and I will shake some sense into you. I am going through the same thing I went through a while ago again, only this time, it's definitely worse because I know what's going to happen! I'm not just taking a chance at something I'm not sure of anymore. I'm risking everything for something that I know will not work, and that's not even what disturbs me the most. I am deeply bothered by the fact that I am willingly giving him a right to hurt me. I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS. I should lead him on like I've done with every other guy I've known before he is even a mile away from meaning anything to me but a quick ego fix. But he's more than that. More than someone who makes me feel better by flattering the heck out of me. More than someone who entertains me with his vulnerability. More than someone who I just play around with because I know it won't last. Because you know what? THIS CAN LAST. It really, really can. At least, I want to. And that's something new. Kind of.