Vampire Diaries -- A Letter to Caroline Forbes (spoilers for 4.07)
Okay, some thoughts on a big development from last night's episode.
A Letter to Caroline Forbes
or
Why Damon & Elena's Sire Bond Is This Season's Sun & Moon Curse
Dear Caroline,
Caroline, honey. We need to talk. You think Elena is sired to obey Damon's wishes. You're wrong and I'm going to tell you exactly why.
Let's first check out your reasoning because it is key. Now these are your exact words:
You: "I was trying to figure out why Klaus was so intrigued by Damon and Elena. He said we'd figure it out. This is what he was talking out."
Stefan: "What are you talking about?"
You: "Think about it -- every time Elena's had a problem, Damon's been the magic solution. Today, Elena was worried about Jeremy. Who swoops in and tells her to relax? Damon and she listens. When Elena started feeding, who said that she could only drink straight from the vein?"
Stefan: "Damon."
You: "And when she tried to drink from animals?"
Stefan: "She couldn't keep it down."
You: "And bloodbags?"
Stefan: "Same thing."
You: "Name one vampire in the history of vampires that couldn't drink blood from a blood-bag. Damon said she couldn't, so she couldn't. Damon likes the red dress; Elena likes the red dress."
Stefan: "Damon says kill Connor, she kills Connor."
You: "What if it's possible? Damon's blood made her a vampire, right? It's rare but it happens! What if this is one of those times? What if this is really happening?"
Stefan: "Elena's sired to Damon."
Wow, you guys sure took that from a wild speculation into rock-hard certainty in record time.
Something you never ask is "what does Klaus want?" and you should. Even when Stefan points out that Klaus wants Elena to be human again for nefarious reasons, you sweep all that under the rug. Klaus knows that Damon is fine with Elena being a vampire. He knows that Stefan is not fine with Elena being a vampire. Klaus doesn't want Elena to be a vampire. Caroline, can you see what I'm getting at? Klaus has a horse in this race. He's biased, Caroline. He has very strong reasons not to want Stefan to give up on Elena. He's manipulative and he willing and freely admits to being 'the bad guy'. His motives are not a secret but you're ignoring them because you don't want Elena to pick Damon (which is understandable considering your personal history with Damon but it does completely ignore how Stefan and Klaus have mistreated and objectified Elena). Damon will probably never be a good guy in your eyes and that makes sense, but Stefan and Klaus are not the voices you want to listen to either. They do not have your best interests at heart, honey. They are both incredibly selfish. I know, you're objecting because you think very highly of Stefan, but he's not the point here. Let's talk about Klaus.
Klaus is the very person who masterminded the lie of the Sun and Moon curse. A lie that all of you were led to believe was very true and real for months. However, Elena being sired (in the way that Tyler and the hybrids were sired) does not fit the facts of the current situation at all. It has not affected her ability to tell Damon 'no' and she was hopelessly emotionally compromised about him long before she turned. Which you know. You had conversations with Elena about Damon and her feelings for him before she turned. But you don't want her to have feelings for him so, just like with Klaus's motives in wanting Elena human, you're sweeping Elena's pre-vampire feelings under the rug.
It is, in many respects, understandable that you think it's plausible that Elena is keyed to obey Damon, however. Because most (possibly all) of the times when Elena has gone against Damon's wishes since she was turned, it's been private. Damon and Elena's relationship has mostly taken place where other people can't see what's going on. So, I'm going to clue you in on some things I think you missed.
First, we'll deal with your specific objections and then I'll go more general and cover all the other times she's 'disobeyed' Damon.
Point 1: When Damon tells Elena to relax about Jeremy she does.
What You Don't Know: This has been happening for months. Damon and Elena have been talking about and tag-teaming on What To Do About Jeremy since long before she became a vampire.
Point 2: Damon told Elena she could only drink from the vein, therefore animal blood and blood-bags make her sick.
What You Don't Know: Damon tried to get her to drink both from him and from a blood-bag; neither worked. Wouldn't being able to drink from Damon serve sire bond purposes far better than only being able to drink from humans? And he wanted her to be able to drink from him; he obviously enjoyed the experience. And yet she couldn't keep it down. He specifically tells her that blood from him is "giving you what you need" and yet she throws it all up. Now, Stefan knows that Elena drank from Damon and he knows she threw it up, yet he didn't mention this to you, Caroline. I wonder why not. Is it because he likes the pretty justification that you're handing him too much to think about the parts that don't make sense?
Point 3: Elena backs up Damon's taste in dresses despite agreeing with you only moments before.
What You Don't Know: Actually, this one you should be able to figure out -- cute boy that you like likes the red dress? You're probably going to start favoring the red dress. Especially when said cute boy reminds you that he can remember exactly what dress you were wearing a year ago.
Point 4: Elena killed Connor on Damon's say-so.
What You Don't Know: Damon didn't want Elena to go anywhere at all. He wanted her to stay safe and she refused to listen. Yes, he was of the opinion that the appropriate way to deal with Connor was by exterminating him with extreme prejudice but in order to do that, Elena had to literally push him around until he came to agree with her point of view about her going off to confront Connor at all. When Elena first hears about the hostages, she says she's going in, Damon says 'no, you're not', Elena insists and... she ends up going into the tunnels. He tells her 'no' again later and she stands her ground. That's where 'Damon told Elena to kill Connor' came in -- because he was telling her that if she was going to go against his wishes, she should do it smart and straight-up kill the guy.
We have a direct contrast in this scenario between Elena and the hybrid Dean, who dies because he was ordered onto a suicide mission by Klaus.
And here's the rest of what you don't know -- Elena tells Damon 'no' all the time.
Damon specifically tells Elena not to think that she deserves to die. This doesn't stop her from saying things like that again later. She asks him not to bring Jeremy into the Connor business, he tells her not to worry and, and that time, she continues to worry because she feels like she still has reason to worry.
I didn't get to see the conversation where Elena talked Damon into giving her the last white oak stake, but we know that it happens. Damon wanted one thing, Elena wanted the opposite. Elena won. And she characterizes how she got it from him as "reluctantly" when asked about it by Stefan (yet another counterpoint that Stefan could have brought up in your discussion).
After Elena attacks Matt (Damon compelled him to forget, so you wouldn't know about this at all), Damon tells her not to be ashamed of being a vampire. Yet after she goes full-on vamp at the college party, she very visibly and verbally feels shame when speaking to Bonnie about it. She even writes in her journal that she hates being a vampire (despite everything that Damon has tried to teach her about accepting it). She even says that part of her wants to 'end it', again contradicting what Damon told her about not ever thinking about killing herself. Of course, you would never read her journal without her permission, so you wouldn't know that.
Now, during that college trip, Damon tells Elena to drink from a specific girl. Elena does not drink from her. She chooses her own victims instead. This is what Elena tells him: "I care because I’m still me. I still have the same feelings, Damon. Sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into a super vampire."
After she called in Damon to talk about her problems, he mentions several times that she should have called Stefan, but she remains firm on not trusting Stefan at that time.
We'll ignore most of what went on when Elena was under the Hunter's curse, but there's one more big moment that you should know about.
Damon told Elena that she and Stefan were just going through a rough patch and that everything Stefan has done has been for her. But when Stefan breaks up with her, she doesn't fight it.
Oh, did Stefan mention that he was the one to break up with her? Because he was the one who broke up with her. He's the one who said that he couldn't do it anymore. But you wouldn't know that because you were too busy blaming Elena.
I understand that you want someone to hate Damon as much as you do. But Elena's not the person, honey. She's never gonna be that person. Even if you and Stefan hold her down and force her to become human again, she's not going to start hating Damon for you. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Even if Elena and Damon have formed a bond, it's not an 'obey him' bond and it didn't give her any emotions that weren't already there.
Again, I'm sorry, Caroline. You and Elena just don't have the same priorities. You don't have the same worldview. You don't understand each other and you haven't for a while. I know it's hard to hear that, but I think you needed someone to tell you this.
I hope someone does.
Affectionately,
butterfly
P.S. Next time, we'll talk about Stefan. He's done a lot of things you don't know about and he's not actually this great, wonderful, and unselfish guy.
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A Letter to Caroline Forbes
or
Why Damon & Elena's Sire Bond Is This Season's Sun & Moon Curse
Dear Caroline,
Caroline, honey. We need to talk. You think Elena is sired to obey Damon's wishes. You're wrong and I'm going to tell you exactly why.
Let's first check out your reasoning because it is key. Now these are your exact words:
You: "I was trying to figure out why Klaus was so intrigued by Damon and Elena. He said we'd figure it out. This is what he was talking out."
Stefan: "What are you talking about?"
You: "Think about it -- every time Elena's had a problem, Damon's been the magic solution. Today, Elena was worried about Jeremy. Who swoops in and tells her to relax? Damon and she listens. When Elena started feeding, who said that she could only drink straight from the vein?"
Stefan: "Damon."
You: "And when she tried to drink from animals?"
Stefan: "She couldn't keep it down."
You: "And bloodbags?"
Stefan: "Same thing."
You: "Name one vampire in the history of vampires that couldn't drink blood from a blood-bag. Damon said she couldn't, so she couldn't. Damon likes the red dress; Elena likes the red dress."
Stefan: "Damon says kill Connor, she kills Connor."
You: "What if it's possible? Damon's blood made her a vampire, right? It's rare but it happens! What if this is one of those times? What if this is really happening?"
Stefan: "Elena's sired to Damon."
Wow, you guys sure took that from a wild speculation into rock-hard certainty in record time.
Something you never ask is "what does Klaus want?" and you should. Even when Stefan points out that Klaus wants Elena to be human again for nefarious reasons, you sweep all that under the rug. Klaus knows that Damon is fine with Elena being a vampire. He knows that Stefan is not fine with Elena being a vampire. Klaus doesn't want Elena to be a vampire. Caroline, can you see what I'm getting at? Klaus has a horse in this race. He's biased, Caroline. He has very strong reasons not to want Stefan to give up on Elena. He's manipulative and he willing and freely admits to being 'the bad guy'. His motives are not a secret but you're ignoring them because you don't want Elena to pick Damon (which is understandable considering your personal history with Damon but it does completely ignore how Stefan and Klaus have mistreated and objectified Elena). Damon will probably never be a good guy in your eyes and that makes sense, but Stefan and Klaus are not the voices you want to listen to either. They do not have your best interests at heart, honey. They are both incredibly selfish. I know, you're objecting because you think very highly of Stefan, but he's not the point here. Let's talk about Klaus.
Klaus is the very person who masterminded the lie of the Sun and Moon curse. A lie that all of you were led to believe was very true and real for months. However, Elena being sired (in the way that Tyler and the hybrids were sired) does not fit the facts of the current situation at all. It has not affected her ability to tell Damon 'no' and she was hopelessly emotionally compromised about him long before she turned. Which you know. You had conversations with Elena about Damon and her feelings for him before she turned. But you don't want her to have feelings for him so, just like with Klaus's motives in wanting Elena human, you're sweeping Elena's pre-vampire feelings under the rug.
It is, in many respects, understandable that you think it's plausible that Elena is keyed to obey Damon, however. Because most (possibly all) of the times when Elena has gone against Damon's wishes since she was turned, it's been private. Damon and Elena's relationship has mostly taken place where other people can't see what's going on. So, I'm going to clue you in on some things I think you missed.
First, we'll deal with your specific objections and then I'll go more general and cover all the other times she's 'disobeyed' Damon.
Point 1: When Damon tells Elena to relax about Jeremy she does.
What You Don't Know: This has been happening for months. Damon and Elena have been talking about and tag-teaming on What To Do About Jeremy since long before she became a vampire.
Point 2: Damon told Elena she could only drink from the vein, therefore animal blood and blood-bags make her sick.
What You Don't Know: Damon tried to get her to drink both from him and from a blood-bag; neither worked. Wouldn't being able to drink from Damon serve sire bond purposes far better than only being able to drink from humans? And he wanted her to be able to drink from him; he obviously enjoyed the experience. And yet she couldn't keep it down. He specifically tells her that blood from him is "giving you what you need" and yet she throws it all up. Now, Stefan knows that Elena drank from Damon and he knows she threw it up, yet he didn't mention this to you, Caroline. I wonder why not. Is it because he likes the pretty justification that you're handing him too much to think about the parts that don't make sense?
Point 3: Elena backs up Damon's taste in dresses despite agreeing with you only moments before.
What You Don't Know: Actually, this one you should be able to figure out -- cute boy that you like likes the red dress? You're probably going to start favoring the red dress. Especially when said cute boy reminds you that he can remember exactly what dress you were wearing a year ago.
Point 4: Elena killed Connor on Damon's say-so.
What You Don't Know: Damon didn't want Elena to go anywhere at all. He wanted her to stay safe and she refused to listen. Yes, he was of the opinion that the appropriate way to deal with Connor was by exterminating him with extreme prejudice but in order to do that, Elena had to literally push him around until he came to agree with her point of view about her going off to confront Connor at all. When Elena first hears about the hostages, she says she's going in, Damon says 'no, you're not', Elena insists and... she ends up going into the tunnels. He tells her 'no' again later and she stands her ground. That's where 'Damon told Elena to kill Connor' came in -- because he was telling her that if she was going to go against his wishes, she should do it smart and straight-up kill the guy.
We have a direct contrast in this scenario between Elena and the hybrid Dean, who dies because he was ordered onto a suicide mission by Klaus.
And here's the rest of what you don't know -- Elena tells Damon 'no' all the time.
Damon specifically tells Elena not to think that she deserves to die. This doesn't stop her from saying things like that again later. She asks him not to bring Jeremy into the Connor business, he tells her not to worry and, and that time, she continues to worry because she feels like she still has reason to worry.
I didn't get to see the conversation where Elena talked Damon into giving her the last white oak stake, but we know that it happens. Damon wanted one thing, Elena wanted the opposite. Elena won. And she characterizes how she got it from him as "reluctantly" when asked about it by Stefan (yet another counterpoint that Stefan could have brought up in your discussion).
After Elena attacks Matt (Damon compelled him to forget, so you wouldn't know about this at all), Damon tells her not to be ashamed of being a vampire. Yet after she goes full-on vamp at the college party, she very visibly and verbally feels shame when speaking to Bonnie about it. She even writes in her journal that she hates being a vampire (despite everything that Damon has tried to teach her about accepting it). She even says that part of her wants to 'end it', again contradicting what Damon told her about not ever thinking about killing herself. Of course, you would never read her journal without her permission, so you wouldn't know that.
Now, during that college trip, Damon tells Elena to drink from a specific girl. Elena does not drink from her. She chooses her own victims instead. This is what Elena tells him: "I care because I’m still me. I still have the same feelings, Damon. Sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into a super vampire."
After she called in Damon to talk about her problems, he mentions several times that she should have called Stefan, but she remains firm on not trusting Stefan at that time.
We'll ignore most of what went on when Elena was under the Hunter's curse, but there's one more big moment that you should know about.
Damon told Elena that she and Stefan were just going through a rough patch and that everything Stefan has done has been for her. But when Stefan breaks up with her, she doesn't fight it.
Oh, did Stefan mention that he was the one to break up with her? Because he was the one who broke up with her. He's the one who said that he couldn't do it anymore. But you wouldn't know that because you were too busy blaming Elena.
I understand that you want someone to hate Damon as much as you do. But Elena's not the person, honey. She's never gonna be that person. Even if you and Stefan hold her down and force her to become human again, she's not going to start hating Damon for you. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Even if Elena and Damon have formed a bond, it's not an 'obey him' bond and it didn't give her any emotions that weren't already there.
Again, I'm sorry, Caroline. You and Elena just don't have the same priorities. You don't have the same worldview. You don't understand each other and you haven't for a while. I know it's hard to hear that, but I think you needed someone to tell you this.
I hope someone does.
Affectionately,
butterfly
P.S. Next time, we'll talk about Stefan. He's done a lot of things you don't know about and he's not actually this great, wonderful, and unselfish guy.
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