I'm not perfect, but I'll try my best
I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I've been such a foul person, and just spoiling everything. Throwing a kid's tantrum and wanting to be pampered and looked after. That's not me, and I guess a part of me resented that, and made me reacted even worse instead. I can't seem to pinpoint what made me like this. Maybe the cause is just me.
It can be so tough being a better person. I want to be a lot of good things, and it made me feel so lousy when I see and hear the words from you that confirmed it. But of course, you don't know cause I don't show. But deep down, I feel bad, honestly I do. It was easy being happy, it was easy to be in love and just be. I want to be how I was like before, I want it to come naturally. But you see, it was natural. We both didn't put in effort to be, we just were. If anything, the effort we put in is to make the other the happiest being in the world, and whatever we do for the other party will always make ourselves happier in return. The everyday comments and expressions we give moulds the dynamics in a very different manner.
I still look back and smile at the happy memories, still marvel at how similar we are and the times we think or say the same things; and still be amazed at the common habits we share. The feeling can never die, and the warm feeling inside when I look back our photos and when you hold me and reminisce with me, that is something I'll always relish in.
I won't want to waste these 4-5 years in university away, just studying and convincing myself that after each semester, everything will come together. Because it will be a lie. Time flies and years will pass without us knowing. Youth is what we have, and youth is what we will get. After, it will be an everyday mundance lifestyle, but let's hope we'll make it better than most.
It can be so tough being a better person. I want to be a lot of good things, and it made me feel so lousy when I see and hear the words from you that confirmed it. But of course, you don't know cause I don't show. But deep down, I feel bad, honestly I do. It was easy being happy, it was easy to be in love and just be. I want to be how I was like before, I want it to come naturally. But you see, it was natural. We both didn't put in effort to be, we just were. If anything, the effort we put in is to make the other the happiest being in the world, and whatever we do for the other party will always make ourselves happier in return. The everyday comments and expressions we give moulds the dynamics in a very different manner.
I still look back and smile at the happy memories, still marvel at how similar we are and the times we think or say the same things; and still be amazed at the common habits we share. The feeling can never die, and the warm feeling inside when I look back our photos and when you hold me and reminisce with me, that is something I'll always relish in.
I won't want to waste these 4-5 years in university away, just studying and convincing myself that after each semester, everything will come together. Because it will be a lie. Time flies and years will pass without us knowing. Youth is what we have, and youth is what we will get. After, it will be an everyday mundance lifestyle, but let's hope we'll make it better than most.