(no subject)

Dec 12, 2004 10:55

Wow I havent updated this in forever... Not that thats a abd thing but ya... Alot has happened in a f ew months and I dont know where to start... well i started high school for one and that was pretty cool... but alot of other things have happened to, maybe for the better. But today I have that stupid Village for band. and yesterday I got interviewed for the newspaper about it. That was pretty neat. Then when ig to home i watched degrassi and it was sooooo sad. I wanted to cry. If somethinglike that ever happened to any of my friends I dont know what I would do. and people can go kill themselves cause they have no idea what they put me through. Those stupid people who sit there and ruined my life and scerwed everything up and made me not be able to trust. and its all their faults. and now the people i love most are suffering for it. Something they didnt even do and shouldnt have to go through. and for me its so impossible to let go again and trust becasue so many people have backstabbed me and taken everything i ever knew and believed away. Then I learned how to get along in life without telling people everything. Without telling them anything. Becasue i didnt want to put my trust in someone again just to have them take that away and ruin everything once but yet again. and now that ive come to a point where i need to trust a person and i need to let go of everything and live for now and not the past, its just so hard. Because no oneknows what its like to sit there and want to do something so badly but a piece of you wont let you. It just wont... But then you realize that life is so short and your so lucky to already ahve these people in your lives and why waste another minute throwing something away that could be the best thing for you. When what if tomorrow you best friend gets shot down and yuo wont have that oppurtunity to go up to them and tell them everything just one last time. and you wont be able to say goodbye. But if you just let go and trust them in the first place you wouldnt have to tell them that but they would already know that you wanted to and exactly what you would have said, in what order, and the exacat look on your face. And everything is so close to being finished everything is now that i know what happened what went wrong and how to fix things now all i have to do is just prove it. and do it. with no second thoughts and no thinking at all. Just go out there and make it all happen. Much easier said then done.
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