Dying for this day to be over.
"Tell you where you need to go
Tell you who you need to be
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you when you’ll need to leave
But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words..."
-Switchfoot, "On Fire"
I am crawling out of my skin today. I am so frustrated with aspects of my life and I cannot seem to find any reasonable solution. It's like I am shaken to my very core and everything I have always relied upon seems elastic.
Last night was the SATC episode where Mr. Big reads Carrie's compilation book of all her key columns and realizes just how much he has hurt her. And you can see that tension, like, "I should never have published all of my feelings regarding our relationship because look at how awkward this conversation is." But I feel like guys are just too dumb to get it. Like they need to have it served on a platter in order to understand that their selfishness and bad decisions are breaking someone else's heart (no I wouldn't be referring to my own life's mr. big or anything...) Sigh.
What I would like to know is how people get by not talking about justice and morality and inequality and all of that stuff that fills every single conversation that Sarah and I have. It must be so much easier.
I yearn for the B-lo. Well ok, I probably just yearn for the idea of the B-lo. Maybe I just miss that feeling of completely devoted (albeit immature and silly) nonsense friendship. Of randomness. Things feel too heavy lately.
Tell you who you need to be
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you when you’ll need to leave
But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words..."
-Switchfoot, "On Fire"
I am crawling out of my skin today. I am so frustrated with aspects of my life and I cannot seem to find any reasonable solution. It's like I am shaken to my very core and everything I have always relied upon seems elastic.
Last night was the SATC episode where Mr. Big reads Carrie's compilation book of all her key columns and realizes just how much he has hurt her. And you can see that tension, like, "I should never have published all of my feelings regarding our relationship because look at how awkward this conversation is." But I feel like guys are just too dumb to get it. Like they need to have it served on a platter in order to understand that their selfishness and bad decisions are breaking someone else's heart (no I wouldn't be referring to my own life's mr. big or anything...) Sigh.
What I would like to know is how people get by not talking about justice and morality and inequality and all of that stuff that fills every single conversation that Sarah and I have. It must be so much easier.
I yearn for the B-lo. Well ok, I probably just yearn for the idea of the B-lo. Maybe I just miss that feeling of completely devoted (albeit immature and silly) nonsense friendship. Of randomness. Things feel too heavy lately.