(rp for busty_robin)
Cassie would rather be home in bed. Or somewhere else in bed. She's exhausted by all the Serious Conversations she's had over the last forty-eight hours. Drained, and wanting to be in bed, and enjoying the results of those conversations, in one way or another, instead of flying the skies of Gotham looking for Stephanie. Knowing that when she found
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Honestly it Steph didn't pull out it would be just another thing for Cassie to be guilty about and work through anyway. Cass was observant; she noted that Steph avoided mentioning Tim at all. It would probably be reasonable of Cassie to let it go, to agree to giving Steph some time to think and leave her to her city. And it would certainly be easier. But reasonable and easy doesn't add up to right necessarily.
"What you said before...I should have been more honest with you about my feelings for Tim. I wasn't honest about it with anyone. Until Bart asked me outright I couldn't even admit it to myself." She took a breath and forced herself to look at Steph directly. "But my point is I know I have not been a good friend to you but I am your friend. Or at least...I want to be."
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And speaking of the spandex-clad devil. As Steph listened to Cassie, her eyes were trained to the ground. Because what Cassie was talking about, right then, was one of the biggest reasons why Steph was hurting. Steph'd confided in her, and Cassie couldn't do the same. This girl, who'd helped Steph get into the new team, who'd gone out of her way to try and be her friend...
Steph had been starting to trust her. And she didn't trust easily. Now she just felt like an idiot.
"Friends are equals, Cassie," Steph said, finally. "It's a give and take kind of thing. And right now, it feels like you took..."
Steph didn't know how to finish that sentence. Tim? Because, no. They'd broken up, and had been broken up for a long time. Steph's feelings were her own problem. The team? Maybe, because this did change things, but the team had been Cassie's in the first place. She'd just been nice enough to want Steph involved.
"Everything," Steph finished, hoarsely. " And you didn't! Of course you didn't. But right now, that's what it feels like. I don't know how to make it feel any other way."
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She hadn't been trying to take anything from Steph but she had. Steph and Tim had been broken up for a long time but as long as he'd been single there was the possibility they'd get back together. If Steph no longer felt comfortable being on the team, Cassie was responsible there, too. And she'd extended a hand in friendship and then turned it aside. Without any design but intent didn't matter. Steph had given, Cassie had taken and their inequality was glaringly obvious.
"Maybe that's what you have to feel right now," she finally said, dully, and parroting someone but she isn't certain who. She doesn't want it to be true. But she's got plenty of what she wanted in this equation. Steph's anger wasn't irrational in Cassie's eyes. "Whatever you need to do, you should do."
Cassie hoped this was at the least what a friend would say.
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"I don't want to feel this way, Cassie. Honestly, I don't. But I can't help it. I just -- I know, objectively, that the main issue here is just really shitty timing. But I'm pissed, and I'm hurt, and I'm really freaking embarassed that this was happening right in front of me and I had no idea." She was supposed to be a detective, for fuck's sake! And while Steph wasn't up to Batman or Tim's level, she could still connect point a to b. But this, she honestly hadn't seen coming. Not even when Cassie and Bart...
Wait a second.
"Cassie," Steph said, like the idea was just occurring to her -- because it was. "Why did you want to set me up with one of your friends? Was it...did it have something to do with how you felt about Tim?"
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Cassie was gathering her response...that no one had any idea, and everyone except Bart had been caught off-guard...when Steph's question registered.
She immediately cringed. It was a horrible thought. Who would do that? Make an offer out of what appeared to be friendship or kindness or some kind of sisterhood solidarity but was in actuality about...what? Getting rid of the competition? Cassie doesn't want to be that person. She can't be that person!
Can she?
Because it was her plan with Bart just like tripling herself and Kon up with Tim had been her plan with Bart. And while it wasn't at all Bart...
But she was also trying to fix up Paco and Cissie and there was someone else...she had a list...a list of people but they didn't match up and...who was it? She couldn't think straight. But the point was she was playing matchmaker with a lot of people not just Steph, so....
But she had felt threatened by Steph on some level....
"...I don't know," she answered finally. It was almost a whisper and she was perfectly still now.
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It was easy to be angry at someone when they had a clear motive. With this, there wasn't an easy answer. Instead, Steph had this whole big mess of panic in her stomach, and no one to direct it at. She leaned against the wall, resting her hands on her thighs and breathing out slowly.
"Okay. I don't know where this leaves us."
Because it wasn't alright. She couldn't say that. But she couldn't write Cassie off, either. Even if she wanted to.
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Cassie straightened, squaring her shoulders into the wind. "Broken," she said. Their tentative friendship had a number of cracks. "But not irrevocably." Or so she believed and would continue to believe. "I...clearly we both have some things we need to work through." She didn't say think about. Cassie and Steph, and most of their friends, were the type to work an issue more often than think it over. "Take whatever time you need, Steph. But I hope this doesn't leave us here."
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"I can't promise you anything, Cassie. I know me better than anyone, and I still can't tell you how the hell I'll feel tomorrow. But I appreciate you coming out here."
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She took a breath and reached closer, grasping Steph's arm and giving a small squeeze. "You know how to find me." She turned and walked quickly to the edge of the roof; blinking back tears she jumped into the night and was gone.
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