In which the bowl is racist and I tell a customer to STFU
Two short stories from Wednesday night:
***
As I've probably made you aware, Wednesday nights are a very busy night for the bowl. Basically over the course of 45-60 minutes, we do COMPLETE customer turnover, exchanging about 140 bowlers for an ENTIRELY NEW 100-130 bowlers. It is crowded and hectic. In order to make this work, we go from a waiting list. Last night the waiting list began about an hour early.
One guy who I recognize as being a regular comes up to the desk, pays his $8 cover charge for bowling, and we ask what name he wants us to call over the public address system. He says his name. My coworker repeats back to him: "Turtles?" The guy smiles. I respond, "I like turtles." He smiles again.
When we get to his spot on the waiting list, we feel a little silly getting on the microphone "Turtles, party of three, we have a lane available. Turtles, party of three, to the front desk, please." Nobody comes up. Five minutes later, after we've searched the building calling out for Turtles, we get on the mic again. "Turtles, party of three, this is your last call." No answer. We cut him from the list.
Five minutes later still, the guy comes back up to the desk. He asks, "when are you going to have a lane for us?" We ask for his name. Carlos.
Fuck.
***
One of the services we provide for most leagues is to administer a side pot game of brackets. In short, it's a prize money match-play bowling game. If you buy in and beat two opponents, you'll win $15, and if you win all three, you'll make $25.
Opponents for brackets are initially chosen by the computer at random. Each bowler gets assigned a number 1-8, and then 1 bowls against 2, the winner bowls against the winner of the match of 3 versus 4, etc.
One customer walked up to the front desk after I had printed out the bracket assignments and said he had a complaint. "Okay," I asked, "What is it?" He responded that he was bowling against a particular opponent every time he put in for brackets. I told him that the computer chooses the bowlers at random, so there's a 1 in 7 chance that they would be against each other in the same bracket, and since both of them tend to purchase multiple brackets, the odds were probably more like 2 or 3 in 7. He walked away dissatisfied with my answer.
I then went to the computer to see brackets from previous weeks. I printed out every bracket from the last six weeks, then highlighted the name of the customer and the name of the opponent he was apparently bowling every time he entered. Turns out that in the last six weeks, the customer paid for 7 brackets and only bowled against this opponent ONCE. Not only that, he beat his opponent that one time.
I told him he was full of shit, and I had data to back it up. That was fun.
***
As I've probably made you aware, Wednesday nights are a very busy night for the bowl. Basically over the course of 45-60 minutes, we do COMPLETE customer turnover, exchanging about 140 bowlers for an ENTIRELY NEW 100-130 bowlers. It is crowded and hectic. In order to make this work, we go from a waiting list. Last night the waiting list began about an hour early.
One guy who I recognize as being a regular comes up to the desk, pays his $8 cover charge for bowling, and we ask what name he wants us to call over the public address system. He says his name. My coworker repeats back to him: "Turtles?" The guy smiles. I respond, "I like turtles." He smiles again.
When we get to his spot on the waiting list, we feel a little silly getting on the microphone "Turtles, party of three, we have a lane available. Turtles, party of three, to the front desk, please." Nobody comes up. Five minutes later, after we've searched the building calling out for Turtles, we get on the mic again. "Turtles, party of three, this is your last call." No answer. We cut him from the list.
Five minutes later still, the guy comes back up to the desk. He asks, "when are you going to have a lane for us?" We ask for his name. Carlos.
Fuck.
***
One of the services we provide for most leagues is to administer a side pot game of brackets. In short, it's a prize money match-play bowling game. If you buy in and beat two opponents, you'll win $15, and if you win all three, you'll make $25.
Opponents for brackets are initially chosen by the computer at random. Each bowler gets assigned a number 1-8, and then 1 bowls against 2, the winner bowls against the winner of the match of 3 versus 4, etc.
One customer walked up to the front desk after I had printed out the bracket assignments and said he had a complaint. "Okay," I asked, "What is it?" He responded that he was bowling against a particular opponent every time he put in for brackets. I told him that the computer chooses the bowlers at random, so there's a 1 in 7 chance that they would be against each other in the same bracket, and since both of them tend to purchase multiple brackets, the odds were probably more like 2 or 3 in 7. He walked away dissatisfied with my answer.
I then went to the computer to see brackets from previous weeks. I printed out every bracket from the last six weeks, then highlighted the name of the customer and the name of the opponent he was apparently bowling every time he entered. Turns out that in the last six weeks, the customer paid for 7 brackets and only bowled against this opponent ONCE. Not only that, he beat his opponent that one time.
I told him he was full of shit, and I had data to back it up. That was fun.