fic post :)
Sam and I decided to be productive again last night. Here is the fruit of my labor :D It's my first Kpop fic, my first Sihan fic [well... kind of. :/] Please have mercy lol.
Title: If Tomorrow I Forget About You
Fandom: Super Junior [ALL 15 of them]
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sihan - ish. :|
Summary: Heechul has to be strong for the both of them, has to be strong and has to remember because Hankyung can't.
It almost seemed ridiculous that this would be the time they would all be together again after so many years. Yes they tried to have reunions, but there was always someone missing - Kibum had a drama to film, Heechul a show to do, Kyuhyun an album to record or Dongahe a dance to practice. They've always made an effortt to catch up, ask how each other's doing but somehow, it always felt like it wasn't enough.
And now here they all are, 25 years later at a wake.
None of the members expected it to happen at all. Not like this - certainly not a death like this. (It was a hit and run - a driver so drunk he didn't notice an old man crossing the road.) Ryeowook was still sobbing into Henry's aged shoulder. Kyuhyun was gripping Zhou Mi's shaking hands. Youngwoon was sitting by Jungsu's side stoically, an arm around his former leader's frail frame. Kibum was leaning against a wall arms crossed, head bowed. Donghae was crying silently, unabashedly. Hyukjae and Donghee were saying how it was so bizarre - how out of the blue it seemed. Jongwoon was sitting next to Sungmin, feeling comfort in each other's company.
And Heechul was next to Hankyung, making sure he doesn't hurt himself relearning what a pair of scissors is for. Because Heechul has to be strong for them both, he has to be strong and has to remember because Hankyung can't. Because Hankyung doesn't even know where he is or why he's there. Because Hankyung doesn't even know most of the people in the room or why there's such an overwhelming sense of pain. And he just really wants it to stop.
Because Hankyung doesn't even remember that Siwon left him for his God.
Heechul listens to the whispers and glares at the pointing fingers. There are a lot of people in this wake - fans, old colleagues and Siwon's family. To his ears, Heechuul only hears one thing from them that is, it's such a pity that the person who loves Siwon the most, doesn't even remember who he is.
"You got the better half of the bargain, Kyungie." Heechul said softly, bitterly. He thinks that it's not fair that all of them have to bear through the pain of knowing and Hankyung doesn't even have a clue. He's frustrated and envious because he doesn't know how he'll cope. That despite putting up a brave front, Kim Heechul doesn't know how to continue being strong.
He stares directly at the cold coffin then looks back at Hankyung.
Hankyung with the blank stares and confused looks that mar his wrinkled face whenever people come up to him with, sadness written all over their eyes. Hankyung who feels like he knows the person in the picture but just can't figure out who it is. Hankyung who will probably wake up to an empty bed space next to him (every single day henceforth) and not know why it feels so wrong. Hankyung who will find Siwon's things all over their home and it will not register to him to whom it belongs to. Hankyung who will from now on feel a void deep inside of him and not understand why.
And all of a sudden Heechul doesn't envy Hankyung anymore. Suddenly he's certain that he's luckier than the Chinese man. Because Heechul knows for sure that any memory of and with Siwon is better than having none at all.
So Heechul protects Hankyung from the audacious stares and the harsh whispers. He shields his friend temporarily from pain as best he could. And Heechul prays to a god (Siwon's God) he doesn't believe in that doctors won't find a cure for Alzheimer's disease.
Because Heechul didn't want Hankyung to wake up one day with his memory fully intact only to find that the love of his life is long gone.
Title: If Tomorrow I Forget About You
Fandom: Super Junior [ALL 15 of them]
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sihan - ish. :|
Summary: Heechul has to be strong for the both of them, has to be strong and has to remember because Hankyung can't.
It almost seemed ridiculous that this would be the time they would all be together again after so many years. Yes they tried to have reunions, but there was always someone missing - Kibum had a drama to film, Heechul a show to do, Kyuhyun an album to record or Dongahe a dance to practice. They've always made an effortt to catch up, ask how each other's doing but somehow, it always felt like it wasn't enough.
And now here they all are, 25 years later at a wake.
None of the members expected it to happen at all. Not like this - certainly not a death like this. (It was a hit and run - a driver so drunk he didn't notice an old man crossing the road.) Ryeowook was still sobbing into Henry's aged shoulder. Kyuhyun was gripping Zhou Mi's shaking hands. Youngwoon was sitting by Jungsu's side stoically, an arm around his former leader's frail frame. Kibum was leaning against a wall arms crossed, head bowed. Donghae was crying silently, unabashedly. Hyukjae and Donghee were saying how it was so bizarre - how out of the blue it seemed. Jongwoon was sitting next to Sungmin, feeling comfort in each other's company.
And Heechul was next to Hankyung, making sure he doesn't hurt himself relearning what a pair of scissors is for. Because Heechul has to be strong for them both, he has to be strong and has to remember because Hankyung can't. Because Hankyung doesn't even know where he is or why he's there. Because Hankyung doesn't even know most of the people in the room or why there's such an overwhelming sense of pain. And he just really wants it to stop.
Because Hankyung doesn't even remember that Siwon left him for his God.
Heechul listens to the whispers and glares at the pointing fingers. There are a lot of people in this wake - fans, old colleagues and Siwon's family. To his ears, Heechuul only hears one thing from them that is, it's such a pity that the person who loves Siwon the most, doesn't even remember who he is.
"You got the better half of the bargain, Kyungie." Heechul said softly, bitterly. He thinks that it's not fair that all of them have to bear through the pain of knowing and Hankyung doesn't even have a clue. He's frustrated and envious because he doesn't know how he'll cope. That despite putting up a brave front, Kim Heechul doesn't know how to continue being strong.
He stares directly at the cold coffin then looks back at Hankyung.
Hankyung with the blank stares and confused looks that mar his wrinkled face whenever people come up to him with, sadness written all over their eyes. Hankyung who feels like he knows the person in the picture but just can't figure out who it is. Hankyung who will probably wake up to an empty bed space next to him (every single day henceforth) and not know why it feels so wrong. Hankyung who will find Siwon's things all over their home and it will not register to him to whom it belongs to. Hankyung who will from now on feel a void deep inside of him and not understand why.
And all of a sudden Heechul doesn't envy Hankyung anymore. Suddenly he's certain that he's luckier than the Chinese man. Because Heechul knows for sure that any memory of and with Siwon is better than having none at all.
So Heechul protects Hankyung from the audacious stares and the harsh whispers. He shields his friend temporarily from pain as best he could. And Heechul prays to a god (Siwon's God) he doesn't believe in that doctors won't find a cure for Alzheimer's disease.
Because Heechul didn't want Hankyung to wake up one day with his memory fully intact only to find that the love of his life is long gone.