Why Sealab is definitely much, much better than ATHF:
Sealab's version of Apocalypse Now:
Captain Murphy: Did they say why they want to terminate my command?
Marco: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.
Captain Murphy: Are my methods unsound?
Marco: I don't see any method at all, sir.
Captain Murphy: Are you an assassin?
Marco: I'm a soldier.
Captain Murphy: You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill. SO WET WILLIE FOR YOU!
Sealab on Science:
Dr. Quinn: That shockwave created a subspace fracture.
Stormy: Take that, subspace!
Dr. Quinn: Shut up.
Stormy: No.
Stormy: Hey Quinns, check it out! We built a time machine! Stormy Two is gonna' go back in time, and, uh, fix it all... up, there. Fix it...
Dr. Quinn: You don't have the brain capacity to build a time machine.
Stormy: You're right. So I guess it's not so much a time machine... as it is a dodge ball cannon! Say hello to my little friend...
Sealab on Drug Abuse:
Captain Murphy: It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
Sealab on Government:
Captain Murphy: Until we find the thief, I am declaring Martian law!
Sparks: Um, I think its martial law.
Captain Murphy: Silence! Under Martian law... uh... what are my powers, exactly?
Sparks: Under martial law, you could suspend habeas corpus, empower a posse comitatus...
Captain Murphy: That's crap. Mars is wild, untamed. I'm forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law.
Captain Murphy: I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of ass.
Sealab on Literature:
Sparks: Debbie, I have something for you.
Debbie: Oh yeah? What?
Sparks: A book.
Debbie: What's the book?
Sparks: "A Modest Proposal".
Debbie: Who's it by?
Sparks: Jonathan Swift.
Debbie: And what's the book about?
Sparks: Eating babies.
Sealab on Love:
Hesh: Hesh wants some sex!
Stormy: Hesh! Get off! My tape's playing!
Hesh: Shut up. Debbie get down here... give Hesh some sex.
Stormy: Hesh, this isn't funny.
Hesh: You'll be real funny when I crack you with a pipe.
Stormy: Okay, I'm coming down there.
Hesh: Shut up.
Debbie: Well now... Hesh,
Hesh: Shut up!
Debbie: Um, okay... why do you think you would make a good father?
Hesh: Um... gimme a second... uh... sex.
Marco: Calm down, I'll see what I can do about finding your little toy.
Captain Murphy: It's not a toy. It makes real cupcakes, with a 40 watt bulb, and there's icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love. Damn it.
Marco: Just try to calm down, go have some pudding.
Captain Murphy: Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
mmmm,
"daylishus"
("delicious", plus fun!)
I don't want to go back to school.
Bleh.
Next week I'm back with my crappy parents who I have to finish off my second week of grounding with.
While I was off on vacation, I didn't check livejournal once,
and damn was I happy.
Oh well, lots of drama I see, unsurprisingly.
I can't wait to get out of high school.
Even though the drama will, undoubtedly, persist throughout life, at least we should all start (hopefully) mellowing out within the next few years.
::crosses fingers::
Captain Murphy: Nails are like candy to robots, and we'll eat tires instead of licorice.
Debbie: Gah, no we won't.
Captain Murphy: Maybe YOU won't!
-This entry is dedicated to Caitlin and Francis Ford Coppola, because they're both awesome and both celebrated birthdays recently.
Also it is dedicated to Martin Sheen, for being an awesome crazy liberal actor,
and for being exceptionally tasty in the seventies...
