"You SUCK!"
i am such a fuck-up.
i HATE being a waste of space, it drives me nuts. for example, i felt gross all day yesterday but was like, whatever, i have things to do, ill get over it...until the fever hit at dinner and i couldnt get rid of the chills. so i backed out of brush-up (i dont think ive ever missed a rehearsal due to illness before in my life), and ended up crashing the rest of the night, assuming that i would just get up early to finish the first part of my thesis for RFT that was due today, sunrise, sunset.
except that i completely forgot, FORGOT, i was supposed to be at a meeting last night. except that i forgot, FORGOT, after how many months, i FORGOT that i had work this morning. by the way, i hate that guilty feeling that creeps into your mind when you know that, for the millionth time, youve unintentionally let someone down. anyway, i run to work 1/2 hour late, paper ignored, only to sit at a desk a 1/2 hour longer than my shift b/c the girl after me didnt feel like going either.
and i still feel nauseated, i cant eat anything without grossing myself out and sitting in the bathroom in front of the toilet until the waves in my stomach pass. basically all ive had since monday night is half a baked potato and a powerbar (which, fyi, was a HUGE mistake).
i just tried to work on my thesis in time for my class, but i passed out in front of my computer. sherri was happy, actually, because she says that she now knows im not perfect, and that she occasionally does the same thing. which made me laugh.
BUT i still have to research my other paper, finish this one, try to eat something, which wont happen, and do a show tonight as though i want to be there, because a lot of people i know are seeing it tonight. and i have songfest rehearsal.
and i think im going to skip the rest of my classes today. is that bad? i really havent skipped any, and missing my 940 yesterday morning because of the completely idiotic 2 hour delay doesnt count as skipping. i dub this an Official Mental Health Day.
i just hope i dont let any more people down today or for the rest of the week. that will make me quite sad.
i HATE being a waste of space, it drives me nuts. for example, i felt gross all day yesterday but was like, whatever, i have things to do, ill get over it...until the fever hit at dinner and i couldnt get rid of the chills. so i backed out of brush-up (i dont think ive ever missed a rehearsal due to illness before in my life), and ended up crashing the rest of the night, assuming that i would just get up early to finish the first part of my thesis for RFT that was due today, sunrise, sunset.
except that i completely forgot, FORGOT, i was supposed to be at a meeting last night. except that i forgot, FORGOT, after how many months, i FORGOT that i had work this morning. by the way, i hate that guilty feeling that creeps into your mind when you know that, for the millionth time, youve unintentionally let someone down. anyway, i run to work 1/2 hour late, paper ignored, only to sit at a desk a 1/2 hour longer than my shift b/c the girl after me didnt feel like going either.
and i still feel nauseated, i cant eat anything without grossing myself out and sitting in the bathroom in front of the toilet until the waves in my stomach pass. basically all ive had since monday night is half a baked potato and a powerbar (which, fyi, was a HUGE mistake).
i just tried to work on my thesis in time for my class, but i passed out in front of my computer. sherri was happy, actually, because she says that she now knows im not perfect, and that she occasionally does the same thing. which made me laugh.
BUT i still have to research my other paper, finish this one, try to eat something, which wont happen, and do a show tonight as though i want to be there, because a lot of people i know are seeing it tonight. and i have songfest rehearsal.
and i think im going to skip the rest of my classes today. is that bad? i really havent skipped any, and missing my 940 yesterday morning because of the completely idiotic 2 hour delay doesnt count as skipping. i dub this an Official Mental Health Day.
i just hope i dont let any more people down today or for the rest of the week. that will make me quite sad.