(no subject)
I've been spending a lot of time trying to be in the Word and reading every day. This thirst for more is crazy - I want to know everything. I am reading this book called Velvet Elvis... I just "get" it. it clicks. A month ago I told myself that this is the time for me to really spend every day pushing to walk with God and use this summer to find my relationship with Him. I thought, what have I got to lose? Finding strength in the Lord and truly walking with him is not what my life has been. I don't want this to be another phase. I've had too many of those, trying to fulfill by other means. I don't want that anymore. God has used situations recently to humble me and to get my shit together. Seeing old friends reminds me of what I used to be, and what I don't want to become. Breaking a laptop has oddly kept me from stressing out about a trip to the beach, now that I can't financially make it. Not being able to find a second job has allowed me to spend more time with him. All this financial business has humbled me and now I can't live frivolously. God is using all of these happenings to force me to rely on Him, and draw me closer.
As I am strengthened through him, I am challenged more. Its so funny, its like as soon as you find a hint of strengthen, immediately it is put to the test. I have had some really low moments. But I am going to force myself to trust in him that he will work things out, and show me what he wants me to do.
As I am strengthened through him, I am challenged more. Its so funny, its like as soon as you find a hint of strengthen, immediately it is put to the test. I have had some really low moments. But I am going to force myself to trust in him that he will work things out, and show me what he wants me to do.