So many odd things ... so little time.

[buster0042]

Yeah, the topic has nothing to do with anything. Although, I'm getting this dire feeling to go out and drink, like ... get in the car, and go downtown, park it, and go to the 4th Ave and the Spar. And just have some drinks, see if it'll settle my mind

Comments

Thanks Nicole.

[buster0042]

I appreciate your caring heart. As it turns out, I didn't go down and see her. I called her earlier in the day to see what she was up to, and she was too busy downloading ringtones and was annoyed that people kept calling her while she was doing it, so she told me that she'd call me back. So I figured I'd wait till she called me back to see if she really wanted me to go down and see her or not. Well, she didn't call back, and I didn't call her back because I didn't want to interrupt her in doing whatever she would be doing at the time.

Maybe it's harsh ... I dunno. I almost called her tonight, but figured she'd be busy drinking or whatever and wouldn't want to talk to me. She says that I can call her anytime I want, since I'm her bestest friend in the world and know the most out of anyone about her. That's a good thing I guess. I just always get a feeling that I'm interrupting her when I call.

I remember when we'd stay up till 3 or 4 in the morning, just talking on the phone about whatever. She'd call me, I'd call her. It didn't matter. We'd watch TV while we were on the phone together. It was great.

I shouldn't have to wait around while she does her thing and yet, I do just sit and wait and wonder whether or not she'll find someone else who is just like me, and whether or not they will be the one that really replaces me. She has to know how much she means to me and how much I love her, right?

I would love to go down there and see her on a constant basis, but if we're not together, then I have to live with the possibility of watching her with another guy and getting jealous and torn up inside; but yet I still do it. I did really good with her graduation party. When her and her boyfriend would get all lovey, I simply looked away. I know Kerrie saw me a couple times. And in thinking about it, I think Alyssa tried to keep it to a minimum. Which is good.

I dunno, I'm thinkin about asking her to come up and stay with me Labor Day Weekend. I should have it off and have to stay here because my mom wants me to take care of 4 week old puppies and my dad is driving a moving truck to L.A. Whether she's single or not, it'd be nice to have her here. At least I'd get to spend some time with her. That's really what I'm shooting for.

Alyssa, if you read this, I'm sorry I always say the same stuff over and over again every so often. I'm sure you're sick of hearing it, and for that I am sorry. Sometimes I just have to vent about things. I love you darling.

I gotta be up in about 5 or so hours. So I should go to bed.

Again, Thanks Nicole.