(no subject)
today=stress
why does nothing go my way lately. seriously, nothing. major suckville, everything.
first, i'm not gonna graduate on time because of some arbitrary requirement. this requires months of filling out paper work and deal with bureaucracy.
then, i don't get the job i wanted, which makes me feel like a failure.
now, i've worked on my thesis for two years and may get no recognition because a committee member decided he couldn't show up to my defense today at the last minute.
not only that but about 1800 of my friends have died in the last year.
my long time boyfriend dumped me in july, and all men have sucked since.
got fucked over by another bastard just after valentines day.
and now another one decides not to tell me that he's married. conveniently for him.
coooooool life...
lots of good things have happened too. and although i can't think of them at the moment, i know it's not all bad. my problems are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less important than other people's problems, but sometimes you just need to rant and let it all out. i'm usually one to bottle it up inside until i explode. like today when i cried and cried and cried... for a myriad of reasons. it can't always come easy, i just wish at least the difficult situations would be a bit more spread out over time. it just seems to be one thing after another at the moment. i'm used to succeeding and the last few months have been nothing but failure. but that's life, huh... can't win 'em all.
to be honest, i really just feel like giving up. i just want to sit on the couch, cuddle up in a blanket, and watch movies or read a book for fun all day. or else take my new bike around the lakes, eat ice cream, and enjoy the breeze/sunlight. i don't want to care anymore, i don't want to be so concerned with everything and think about things all of the time and question everything anymore. i don't want to try so hard to change things that seem impossible to change. i'm sick of dealing with people's bullshit. i'm sick of dealing with rules and policies and people telling me i can or cannot do this or that. i'm sick of expectations and assignments and grades and letters of recommendation and forms and transcripts and signing checks and applications and making phone calls and planning and organizing and emailing and attending meetings. i need to be done, done, done.
i really just want to move to ghana and play drums all day and hike on woma mountain and eat strange food with bernard. that's all.
why does nothing go my way lately. seriously, nothing. major suckville, everything.
first, i'm not gonna graduate on time because of some arbitrary requirement. this requires months of filling out paper work and deal with bureaucracy.
then, i don't get the job i wanted, which makes me feel like a failure.
now, i've worked on my thesis for two years and may get no recognition because a committee member decided he couldn't show up to my defense today at the last minute.
not only that but about 1800 of my friends have died in the last year.
my long time boyfriend dumped me in july, and all men have sucked since.
got fucked over by another bastard just after valentines day.
and now another one decides not to tell me that he's married. conveniently for him.
coooooool life...
lots of good things have happened too. and although i can't think of them at the moment, i know it's not all bad. my problems are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less important than other people's problems, but sometimes you just need to rant and let it all out. i'm usually one to bottle it up inside until i explode. like today when i cried and cried and cried... for a myriad of reasons. it can't always come easy, i just wish at least the difficult situations would be a bit more spread out over time. it just seems to be one thing after another at the moment. i'm used to succeeding and the last few months have been nothing but failure. but that's life, huh... can't win 'em all.
to be honest, i really just feel like giving up. i just want to sit on the couch, cuddle up in a blanket, and watch movies or read a book for fun all day. or else take my new bike around the lakes, eat ice cream, and enjoy the breeze/sunlight. i don't want to care anymore, i don't want to be so concerned with everything and think about things all of the time and question everything anymore. i don't want to try so hard to change things that seem impossible to change. i'm sick of dealing with people's bullshit. i'm sick of dealing with rules and policies and people telling me i can or cannot do this or that. i'm sick of expectations and assignments and grades and letters of recommendation and forms and transcripts and signing checks and applications and making phone calls and planning and organizing and emailing and attending meetings. i need to be done, done, done.
i really just want to move to ghana and play drums all day and hike on woma mountain and eat strange food with bernard. that's all.