(no subject)
so christopher has decided to be a huge fucking douche bag immature asshole... seriously the last two conversations i have had with him have been ENTIRELY him talking about himself and pretty much nothing else. and when he actually has asked how i am doing he doesn't really listen and simply turns it into something about himself?! it makes me wonder if it was that way our entire relationship. love is very blinding. and now i can finally see. he is very different than i remember believing. and that is really disheartening. rather disgusting actually... how could i have been so naive, turned such a blind, been so forgiving and accepting?!!
well i definitely think i have come to a few realizations and decisions... i don't think i even want to be his friend anymore. i honestly do not think he cares enough about me to warrant being friends. all he cares about is himself. slowly but surely i am realizing this. i will be not be there when it is convenient. i have waaaaaay to many amazing people in my life to my waste thoughts and energy on someone like him. so i am done. i am done caring. i am done trying to be nice. i am done trying to make conversation. i am done trying to be genuinely interested in his life. i don't care anymore. i don't care enough to even talk to him when i see him. if he wants to talk to me... fine. i will say hello. but really that is it. that's as far as the conversation will go. i don't want to know what he has been up to. i do not want to know how is family is doing. i don't want to know how work is going. i do NOT care. done and done.
the whole thing just really makes me miss wyatt... someone who actually calls to see how i am doing and to hear about my day. and to share with me his day. and to have someone who appreciates me, genuinely. he's probably on a plane right now back to the states from england. i'm not really sure when he actually returns, but i cannot wait to hear is adorable little voice again. and the day that i see him again (most likely in just a few short weeks) is going to be the best day ever.
on other accords...
i really really really miss jordan, aaron, neal, and tony. ugh...
tomorrow i am hanging out with my mom, probably paint my room and hang stuff on the walls. then the STATE FAIR... WHITE TRASH STYLE!!! i am going with my girls... miss thea jensen and lili jackson, as well as a plethora of other people. good times...
well i definitely think i have come to a few realizations and decisions... i don't think i even want to be his friend anymore. i honestly do not think he cares enough about me to warrant being friends. all he cares about is himself. slowly but surely i am realizing this. i will be not be there when it is convenient. i have waaaaaay to many amazing people in my life to my waste thoughts and energy on someone like him. so i am done. i am done caring. i am done trying to be nice. i am done trying to make conversation. i am done trying to be genuinely interested in his life. i don't care anymore. i don't care enough to even talk to him when i see him. if he wants to talk to me... fine. i will say hello. but really that is it. that's as far as the conversation will go. i don't want to know what he has been up to. i do not want to know how is family is doing. i don't want to know how work is going. i do NOT care. done and done.
the whole thing just really makes me miss wyatt... someone who actually calls to see how i am doing and to hear about my day. and to share with me his day. and to have someone who appreciates me, genuinely. he's probably on a plane right now back to the states from england. i'm not really sure when he actually returns, but i cannot wait to hear is adorable little voice again. and the day that i see him again (most likely in just a few short weeks) is going to be the best day ever.
on other accords...
i really really really miss jordan, aaron, neal, and tony. ugh...
tomorrow i am hanging out with my mom, probably paint my room and hang stuff on the walls. then the STATE FAIR... WHITE TRASH STYLE!!! i am going with my girls... miss thea jensen and lili jackson, as well as a plethora of other people. good times...