admiting the truth

[busted_frame]

i've wrote about this person many times i have always had feelings for her but she nolonger has any for me. her name is Alicia i love her more then she or any other person will ever know i've told her but she only would say "i know..." then i would feel like she doesn't care for me but, then later she would say she can see herself marring me but i see that will never come to be. she would ask me qustions like "how long have you wanted to be whith me" and i would say "since the first day we met" and that was the god honest truth. some people would say why didn't you ask her sooner well i have a problem i can't handle rejection by the time i thought i could ask her out she had dissapered and it was about the end of the year so i thought all was lost till i got to school the next year. i was amazing lucky she hade 2 of my classes and i was soo happy and she seemed to be too. but see had a boyfriend so i left it alone as long as i could so evenchely that relacationship ended so i want to work at that time all i wanted was sex but once i got to know what a kind and beautful person she is on the outside and especially on the inside so she changed me i'm very glad that she did now i'm a better persone the i have ever been. well then i quit school (which was a bad decision) in anatempt to do home school but i was slack and i never did it all i did was drugs and i loved doing it. i didn't speek to Alicia for a lond time but i wanted to talk to her but she never returned my calls so i felt like she didn't want anything to do with me. but i was very lucky because Stacy a good friend of mine a hers spoke to me and i told her how i felt about Alicia. and stacy told Alicia what i said and she called me and we started talkin agin and i was still doing drugs. avenchley my moms gave me a drug test and i failed. that day was the day i was going to see Alicia and i couldn't go see her because of that so i took that as a sine and i stoped doing drugs and the only drug i wanted was Alicia. so one day i thought i was lucky she told me that she had feelings for me and that is when we started dating and that was one of the happyest days of my life. so i went to go see her iceskate and most of that time we spent together and i told her i lover her and she said "i'm not shure about that yet" well i thought it would not be long so i thought nothing of it. but then about a week after that she started to become distance so i just keep telling her how much i loved and carred for her. the last time i went to see her she didn't want to be around me and all she wanted to do was skate so i got on the ice a i sucked at skating but i tryed and i made her fall so i didn't skate anymore and then she wouldn't site with me. that was on sat and she asked if we could just be friends on tuse. so for like 2 days i only slep 6 hours and didn't eat and i smoked like 6 packs. i still feel like shit and i still love her and i don't know how long it will take me to get over her. but the last thing i want to say is to her if she reads this.

i love you Alicia and i always will i thought you wanted this to last a long time and i can only hope you chang your mind and recocider how you feel about me.