Blurbs
For as long as I can remeber I have been transferring random pieces of thought to paper in what I refer to as "Blurbs". Blurbs are my way of reasoning with myself, in a way they are my escape... A few Blurbs are posted below:
On emotion and belief......
How can a person be so sacred and yet so secret? Only in this world, only on earth. It is an enigma how someone can be miles upon miles away, yet less than millimeters away form your heart. Physical reality is a barrier where internal emotion is the tunnel through which one escapes. In order to create a better world we must first create better lives for ourselves. By putting vision into action a new world is born. Emotion is the denominator of everything, and without it there would be no existence, the fraction would be insolvable. Hence life and physical being are the inconsistent and a wavering variable in the numerator, but hidden to most eyes is the denominator which everything must eventually be divided by. Then why is the repertoire of human feeling so boundless and unpredictable, and why are we able to feel such polar emotions concurrently? Even though a heart may feel gripping love and bleeding sadness, together or apart, emotion is what comprises life and nothing would there be without it. Love weaves the fabric of life and hatred tears it apart. Duality is an integral part of feeling and therefore is essential to existence. We live to transcend society through emotion, and until breached this wall of our everyday lives is, real happiness cannot be known. Truth is experience and demonstration, and the unknown is merely the inexperienced. What then would it be like to put your trust and certainty into something that cannot be demonstrated, that cannot be proven? Is this religious devotion or could ths simply be a characteristic innate in every human that simply needs to be elicited by trust in one’s self or faith in another? For if I’m not mistaken, that truth is the greatest emotion, and if the world is based on facts and truth, than the world in which we live is a world designed by emotion. Than why do we hide ourselves and why do we suppress and meek our true emotion? For these feelings in my heart I know not of, and my struggle is wether or not to put sightless faith in their existence, to believe what cannot be proven and hinge my life off of my heart. But what is living without chances and exploring the path never trodden? Small moments of chance, of whim, or perhaps of fate, eventually decide our future. Our path in life is not paved with concrete, but rather a sandy path in which every grain represents a moment, a choice, whether it is a choice controlled by the mind or something greater. So taake off your shoes and walk your life down the path of sand. Do not worry about the shards of glass and broken sticks that may cut your feet along the way, because although a cut may never completely heal, your body is made to cure the deepest of wounds so that you can carry on. If the human body knows this, then why doesn’t the mind?
On integrity....
Take it all away. Take everything: take the shirt off my back, take the roof which gives me shelter, take my dreams and take my vision, disrobe me of all my worldly possessions, even take my manhood, deprive me of emotion, strip me bare of flesh, until all that I own is my name. But however hard you may try, you will never be able to take my integrity, for integrity is the characteristic of a person’s soul that cannot be parted, that I will always and forever own unto myself. To die of a bad conscience or so deep a suffering will not cure the pain, it will not fill the hole, for the state of a soul continues to feel, to remember and to reflect, even if the physical and emotional pain desist and disintegrate, the soul goes unchanged. It is a relentless conscience that can only be surmounted by integrity. Take it all away, all that is humanly and godly possible, but the essential character of my existence will still remain. A people can be robbed of life, a county can be denied its liberty, and every aspect of life can hold its iniquities, but integrity can never be repudiated. So go ahead, try to take it all away.
On homosexuality...
You’ll never know....
What it’s like to long so much after someone who is so close yet so distant; afar in another realm, where you can only see but never touch them. For the lust and love to be so palpable, yet virtually intangible. To give your soul to someone who cannot receive it nor offer anything in return. To long after one thing so much, but never be able to have it. It dissolves the heart that you once thought you owned, that was so helplessly given away and drowned. To owe every breath and every thought to that one, your one, who will never be able to call you the same. To never have a place to call home because you can never feel safe with the treat of being discovered. To live only to die inside.
You will never know....
The oppression we suffer day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, with every resonating thought. Even though perhaps not always obvious, we are oppressed. When we accept that discovery so deep and so grand within ourselves, when a benevolent act of valor and bravery is committed, we are impressed into an inescapable cage in society. Trapped in a prison with handcuffs, only for the world to watch with a wide and ominous expression on its face, underneath which hides an unjustified yet innate abhorrence for every single prisoner. It is a fundamental made ethical only by an overwhelming influence in society, controlled by heavily tainted motives. For this we are oppressed. For being born something we cannot change, no matter how hard we try to resist the inborn necessity, no matter how strongly we fight and suppress this human urge, it is an integral part of us that cannot be destroyed or denied. Until this is discovered and accepted, the void in our hearts grow so large as to progressively swallow other portions until nothing is left but a black hole. Everything is carved out until you are hollow inside. Hence, we are left with two choices, we can oppress ourselves until life no longer holds meaning, or we can be oppressed by society.
How does this seem ethical? Tell me then God, why did you bore us this way, only to be in the path of oppression? Certainly not to overcome our adversaries, your so-called holy myrmidons. In you, there is only providence for those whom you designate it to. Why then was the beast you created in us not providence? Why do you choose to create in us unforgivable blasphemy for something that we cannot defeat? In everything there is sin, providing justification in seeking your salvation; yet from you, redemption we can never be given. If you are all that is good, than why do you purposely create relentless evil for which there is no cure? Did you make us simply for the purpose of filling the cage, or did you make the cage simply to fill us into? Whichever of the latter be your motive, your holiness reflects corruption ant immorality, proving true divinity to be either insanity or nonexistent, even in yourself. Hitler also referred to himself as god, only he made obvious his motives, while you cowardly hide yours allowing people to ignorantly and desperately call you their savior, and unknowingly their despot.
You humble yourself into a quiet corner or closet... in order to avoid the ridicule and suffering you know in you mind will inevitably come. To back further and further into that endless wall, until all that you see is black, until all that you see is yourself. You are alone, you are lost from the rest of the world, but most of all, you are lost from yourself. You try to find the way back, a way in which will safely guide you home, an impossible pathway to follow on which many unfortunate travelers fall off and are lost forever. No person in their right mind would purposely choose this destiny. Why then does it exist? It is an alternative to the cage. For those who don’t have enough pride to exist in a world that will deliver such degrading and fatal blows, given for merely being one’s self. Does emotional damage out-weigh physical damage? Both we are subject to endure, indubitably by a society that we must call our own. A society in which we are initially identified and condemned as inferior wrong-doers? The large majority of society is subliminally wearing their tall white hoods. But why? Why oppress us for being different? We are all human individuals. No two of us are identical, right? We don’t look down on others for being different? If rejection is largely the utmost fear of all humans, than why do we create it in the first place?
You will never know...
What it is like to always bow your head in shame because you are stuck in an inescapable paradox that is understandable only by your tarnished conscience. To have your insides being eaten out as every word reluctantly flows from your mouth. To have to live in a world of lies. To have created everything for nothing. To live only to be in denial. Where desire and hope exists so much that it makes you numb. To fear getting close to anyone, in knowing that if you get too close they may very well become your prison guard. You cannot rely on the human nature, for it is fickle even in the most dire of situations. Your functions are not yours and your life is not your own.
You will never know...
The oppression I unceasingly feel, even in my dreams.
I have many, many more....sorry if they are a bore, it is just nice to be able to look back on them and realize.
On emotion and belief......
How can a person be so sacred and yet so secret? Only in this world, only on earth. It is an enigma how someone can be miles upon miles away, yet less than millimeters away form your heart. Physical reality is a barrier where internal emotion is the tunnel through which one escapes. In order to create a better world we must first create better lives for ourselves. By putting vision into action a new world is born. Emotion is the denominator of everything, and without it there would be no existence, the fraction would be insolvable. Hence life and physical being are the inconsistent and a wavering variable in the numerator, but hidden to most eyes is the denominator which everything must eventually be divided by. Then why is the repertoire of human feeling so boundless and unpredictable, and why are we able to feel such polar emotions concurrently? Even though a heart may feel gripping love and bleeding sadness, together or apart, emotion is what comprises life and nothing would there be without it. Love weaves the fabric of life and hatred tears it apart. Duality is an integral part of feeling and therefore is essential to existence. We live to transcend society through emotion, and until breached this wall of our everyday lives is, real happiness cannot be known. Truth is experience and demonstration, and the unknown is merely the inexperienced. What then would it be like to put your trust and certainty into something that cannot be demonstrated, that cannot be proven? Is this religious devotion or could ths simply be a characteristic innate in every human that simply needs to be elicited by trust in one’s self or faith in another? For if I’m not mistaken, that truth is the greatest emotion, and if the world is based on facts and truth, than the world in which we live is a world designed by emotion. Than why do we hide ourselves and why do we suppress and meek our true emotion? For these feelings in my heart I know not of, and my struggle is wether or not to put sightless faith in their existence, to believe what cannot be proven and hinge my life off of my heart. But what is living without chances and exploring the path never trodden? Small moments of chance, of whim, or perhaps of fate, eventually decide our future. Our path in life is not paved with concrete, but rather a sandy path in which every grain represents a moment, a choice, whether it is a choice controlled by the mind or something greater. So taake off your shoes and walk your life down the path of sand. Do not worry about the shards of glass and broken sticks that may cut your feet along the way, because although a cut may never completely heal, your body is made to cure the deepest of wounds so that you can carry on. If the human body knows this, then why doesn’t the mind?
On integrity....
Take it all away. Take everything: take the shirt off my back, take the roof which gives me shelter, take my dreams and take my vision, disrobe me of all my worldly possessions, even take my manhood, deprive me of emotion, strip me bare of flesh, until all that I own is my name. But however hard you may try, you will never be able to take my integrity, for integrity is the characteristic of a person’s soul that cannot be parted, that I will always and forever own unto myself. To die of a bad conscience or so deep a suffering will not cure the pain, it will not fill the hole, for the state of a soul continues to feel, to remember and to reflect, even if the physical and emotional pain desist and disintegrate, the soul goes unchanged. It is a relentless conscience that can only be surmounted by integrity. Take it all away, all that is humanly and godly possible, but the essential character of my existence will still remain. A people can be robbed of life, a county can be denied its liberty, and every aspect of life can hold its iniquities, but integrity can never be repudiated. So go ahead, try to take it all away.
On homosexuality...
You’ll never know....
What it’s like to long so much after someone who is so close yet so distant; afar in another realm, where you can only see but never touch them. For the lust and love to be so palpable, yet virtually intangible. To give your soul to someone who cannot receive it nor offer anything in return. To long after one thing so much, but never be able to have it. It dissolves the heart that you once thought you owned, that was so helplessly given away and drowned. To owe every breath and every thought to that one, your one, who will never be able to call you the same. To never have a place to call home because you can never feel safe with the treat of being discovered. To live only to die inside.
You will never know....
The oppression we suffer day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, with every resonating thought. Even though perhaps not always obvious, we are oppressed. When we accept that discovery so deep and so grand within ourselves, when a benevolent act of valor and bravery is committed, we are impressed into an inescapable cage in society. Trapped in a prison with handcuffs, only for the world to watch with a wide and ominous expression on its face, underneath which hides an unjustified yet innate abhorrence for every single prisoner. It is a fundamental made ethical only by an overwhelming influence in society, controlled by heavily tainted motives. For this we are oppressed. For being born something we cannot change, no matter how hard we try to resist the inborn necessity, no matter how strongly we fight and suppress this human urge, it is an integral part of us that cannot be destroyed or denied. Until this is discovered and accepted, the void in our hearts grow so large as to progressively swallow other portions until nothing is left but a black hole. Everything is carved out until you are hollow inside. Hence, we are left with two choices, we can oppress ourselves until life no longer holds meaning, or we can be oppressed by society.
How does this seem ethical? Tell me then God, why did you bore us this way, only to be in the path of oppression? Certainly not to overcome our adversaries, your so-called holy myrmidons. In you, there is only providence for those whom you designate it to. Why then was the beast you created in us not providence? Why do you choose to create in us unforgivable blasphemy for something that we cannot defeat? In everything there is sin, providing justification in seeking your salvation; yet from you, redemption we can never be given. If you are all that is good, than why do you purposely create relentless evil for which there is no cure? Did you make us simply for the purpose of filling the cage, or did you make the cage simply to fill us into? Whichever of the latter be your motive, your holiness reflects corruption ant immorality, proving true divinity to be either insanity or nonexistent, even in yourself. Hitler also referred to himself as god, only he made obvious his motives, while you cowardly hide yours allowing people to ignorantly and desperately call you their savior, and unknowingly their despot.
You humble yourself into a quiet corner or closet... in order to avoid the ridicule and suffering you know in you mind will inevitably come. To back further and further into that endless wall, until all that you see is black, until all that you see is yourself. You are alone, you are lost from the rest of the world, but most of all, you are lost from yourself. You try to find the way back, a way in which will safely guide you home, an impossible pathway to follow on which many unfortunate travelers fall off and are lost forever. No person in their right mind would purposely choose this destiny. Why then does it exist? It is an alternative to the cage. For those who don’t have enough pride to exist in a world that will deliver such degrading and fatal blows, given for merely being one’s self. Does emotional damage out-weigh physical damage? Both we are subject to endure, indubitably by a society that we must call our own. A society in which we are initially identified and condemned as inferior wrong-doers? The large majority of society is subliminally wearing their tall white hoods. But why? Why oppress us for being different? We are all human individuals. No two of us are identical, right? We don’t look down on others for being different? If rejection is largely the utmost fear of all humans, than why do we create it in the first place?
You will never know...
What it is like to always bow your head in shame because you are stuck in an inescapable paradox that is understandable only by your tarnished conscience. To have your insides being eaten out as every word reluctantly flows from your mouth. To have to live in a world of lies. To have created everything for nothing. To live only to be in denial. Where desire and hope exists so much that it makes you numb. To fear getting close to anyone, in knowing that if you get too close they may very well become your prison guard. You cannot rely on the human nature, for it is fickle even in the most dire of situations. Your functions are not yours and your life is not your own.
You will never know...
The oppression I unceasingly feel, even in my dreams.
I have many, many more....sorry if they are a bore, it is just nice to be able to look back on them and realize.