los dias locos
wow... these last few days have been insanely intense...they have been so crazy and completely life-altering. Thank god I have awesome friends and the most loving bf to get me through it all ( I love you all!). I hope that everybody else has come out of this week intact... I am still pushing through the darkness, but i can certainly feel the light guiding me to the end of the tunnel. You'll see what I mean....Another Blurb, and the grammer is horrible, but that is part of what makes the blub a blub- it is a single stream of conscienceness that cannot be edited or altered by virtue of direct meaning.
How are you able to survive in this cruel hard world? How are you supposed to endure emotions that split your heat, that fiercely tear your spirit into small and scattered pieces? How is it that somehow, through the most passionate times of intense pain and boundless sorrow, a soul can survive and continue to function, to overcome such overwhelming emotion, such bloody tears and fearful thoughts when all of the darkness surrounds and conceals the light that once guided the way, yet somehow, although the light you cannot see, you are able to feel the distant warmth through all of the dark and unknown? Like a warm spot in a frigid lake, hope always exists; it is merely a matter of encountering the location, although your heart may be torn so thoroughly that the only thing holding it together is a single thread called belief. When the whole world crashes around you, but somehow you find yourself still standing straight; when you are hit so hard that you fall to the ground, yet the will of your heart refuses to die and continues to beat; when misery brings you to your knees, yet something unprecedented inside enables you to lift your sanguine head up to the sky; when into reality comes that one thing that you said you would sacrifice your entire world for, when the road splits into the path of darkness or the path of certainty, through which path do you see the horizon, down which pass do you feel the warmth of the sun? Do you let your eyes or your soul be the guide? Do you sacrifice everything that you have ever known for that one thing? Is your conviction and belief sure enough to give it all? Do you leave your warm home knowing that you will never be able to come back or even say goodbye, only perhaps to be homeless your entire life so long as you have that one thing? Would you relinquish all of your senses only to know that you could feel? In which direction does your heart beat? Where can you feel the light, the hope that guides you through the darkness? Do you close your eyes and push yourself blindly through the cave, uncertain of what is on the other side, or do you walk between the broken yellow lines that you have walked within your entire life? Belief, I think, is worth sacrificing everything for the world for, no matter how dark and gloomy the road ahead or behind may seem. The essence of my soul is my belief, and therefore it is worth sacrificing my being for over and over and over again. My soul can feel the connection, the one thing that my heart needs to keep its beat. I know not what I must sacrifice, but everything is nothing, save my belief, my one belief that I will never relinquish, that I will never surrender. I will graciously sacrifice all of my belongings, my entire life with such unreserved conviction, so long as I can follow my belief. My faith is my belief, not faith in god or in a divine higher-power, but rather my belief lies within my guiding star, my confidant, my hero and my savior, my hope and my salvation, my true knight in shining armour; my sightless faith rests within my one and only, my Ryan.
How are you able to survive in this cruel hard world? How are you supposed to endure emotions that split your heat, that fiercely tear your spirit into small and scattered pieces? How is it that somehow, through the most passionate times of intense pain and boundless sorrow, a soul can survive and continue to function, to overcome such overwhelming emotion, such bloody tears and fearful thoughts when all of the darkness surrounds and conceals the light that once guided the way, yet somehow, although the light you cannot see, you are able to feel the distant warmth through all of the dark and unknown? Like a warm spot in a frigid lake, hope always exists; it is merely a matter of encountering the location, although your heart may be torn so thoroughly that the only thing holding it together is a single thread called belief. When the whole world crashes around you, but somehow you find yourself still standing straight; when you are hit so hard that you fall to the ground, yet the will of your heart refuses to die and continues to beat; when misery brings you to your knees, yet something unprecedented inside enables you to lift your sanguine head up to the sky; when into reality comes that one thing that you said you would sacrifice your entire world for, when the road splits into the path of darkness or the path of certainty, through which path do you see the horizon, down which pass do you feel the warmth of the sun? Do you let your eyes or your soul be the guide? Do you sacrifice everything that you have ever known for that one thing? Is your conviction and belief sure enough to give it all? Do you leave your warm home knowing that you will never be able to come back or even say goodbye, only perhaps to be homeless your entire life so long as you have that one thing? Would you relinquish all of your senses only to know that you could feel? In which direction does your heart beat? Where can you feel the light, the hope that guides you through the darkness? Do you close your eyes and push yourself blindly through the cave, uncertain of what is on the other side, or do you walk between the broken yellow lines that you have walked within your entire life? Belief, I think, is worth sacrificing everything for the world for, no matter how dark and gloomy the road ahead or behind may seem. The essence of my soul is my belief, and therefore it is worth sacrificing my being for over and over and over again. My soul can feel the connection, the one thing that my heart needs to keep its beat. I know not what I must sacrifice, but everything is nothing, save my belief, my one belief that I will never relinquish, that I will never surrender. I will graciously sacrifice all of my belongings, my entire life with such unreserved conviction, so long as I can follow my belief. My faith is my belief, not faith in god or in a divine higher-power, but rather my belief lies within my guiding star, my confidant, my hero and my savior, my hope and my salvation, my true knight in shining armour; my sightless faith rests within my one and only, my Ryan.