You worry so much about the birth event that it is easy to forget what things are like afterwards. Life is akin to a monastic existence in so many ways
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I do agree that women need at least a month to recover; as a bare minimum. It has taken that long before I've felt myself again and I really didn't have a hard labour in the broader scheme of things. It is certainly beneficial for a newborn to have that focused time as well. I can't say I feel good about the unclean bit. I think that says more about the men and their fear of menses/lochia more than anything.
For me it's not the performance anxiety about the state of the house; though it does make you feel like you're looking at an overflowing inbox which brings a certain measure of stress. I find the most frustrating aspect is the loss of control over the details of my life; the wrong brand of soy milk which doesn't taste as nice or Hamish being sent out in the world without a nappy. Some details aren't important; some are. It is the downside of receiving help which I never had before and while not perfect has definately enabled me to make a solid physical recovery. I'm back at the gym next week and then I'll get my core strength back - to say nothing of a few hours time out and some endorphins! ;o)
I don't like feeling useless even though I know I'm doing the right thing in taking a step back to rest. It's the choice of being tolerant of that surrendered control versus being a total uber bitch who slaves others to get things done to my spefic liking. Having no help wasn't so difficult with Kahlil but once kids are on the scene, getting help becomes very necessary. I don't know how I coped with Hamish - not brilliantly to be sure. I don't know how you coped with three. You absolutely deserve a medal or something more useful like an all expenses paid holiday annually somewhere relaxing.
I have still been out a bit - Dahlia attended her first rally (equal rights for equal love) at 10 days as we don't have the snow and bitter cold that must have severely limited you. In fact our last day of winter was unseasonably warm at 25C. I have mixed feelings about going out - it's a very contextual question and another Zen Koan to ponder.
For me it's not the performance anxiety about the state of the house; though it does make you feel like you're looking at an overflowing inbox which brings a certain measure of stress. I find the most frustrating aspect is the loss of control over the details of my life; the wrong brand of soy milk which doesn't taste as nice or Hamish being sent out in the world without a nappy. Some details aren't important; some are. It is the downside of receiving help which I never had before and while not perfect has definately enabled me to make a solid physical recovery. I'm back at the gym next week and then I'll get my core strength back - to say nothing of a few hours time out and some endorphins! ;o)
I don't like feeling useless even though I know I'm doing the right thing in taking a step back to rest. It's the choice of being tolerant of that surrendered control versus being a total uber bitch who slaves others to get things done to my spefic liking. Having no help wasn't so difficult with Kahlil but once kids are on the scene, getting help becomes very necessary. I don't know how I coped with Hamish - not brilliantly to be sure. I don't know how you coped with three. You absolutely deserve a medal or something more useful like an all expenses paid holiday annually somewhere relaxing.
I have still been out a bit - Dahlia attended her first rally (equal rights for equal love) at 10 days as we don't have the snow and bitter cold that must have severely limited you. In fact our last day of winter was unseasonably warm at 25C. I have mixed feelings about going out - it's a very contextual question and another Zen Koan to ponder.
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