Rant.
Fuck it, lets just be childish and rant in the livejournal cause I cant sleep and my mind has seemed to focus on this bullshit festering in my life.
I guess I took a hint from jacqui on the "blowing up on people you know" thing, but I guess its just that time of year..
I didnt go out tonight and smoke as i normally would. I would have been better off. Then I wouldnt be laying awake thinking about whats pissing me off right now. which is you, you bastard.
If I went out, I would have been home by 10:30 and passed out by now. But no. I had to do the "right" thing. I had to try to go to bed early to wake up in the morning and work. To make money. Fucking money.
So instead im left festering with all the negative things that have been thrown at me and all the judgemental bullshit you've laid on my shoulders.
Tell me to get a haircut, to go to the gym "cause you'll feel better" ... did I ever feel "bad" in the first place? or were you telling me I did.
Tell me I'm a pothead. Yeah, its so terrible.
Tell me how to spend my money. tell me how to run my life.
well fuck you. seriously fuck you.
When the shit hit the fan in my life, where were you? elsewhere. doing other shit.
and its fine, cause school and all the other shit that people have to do and that aint even your fault.
what about making an effort to come home on weekends. nah. work n shit.
how about being there for someone when they need you.
it wasnt my thing, but what was the line?
oh yeah
"im playing drums"
right.
You arogant fuck you.
sitting there all high and mighty telling me how to live my life.
like youve been in my shoes.
like you know.
you dont know shit.
I tell you all the things in the world, and all you do is wait to throw them back in my face and make me feel like shit.
If my house burnt down tomorrow youd probably ask me if I left a roach in the ashtray.
no, but seriously, did you?
my memory isnt 100% on one thing and the first words out of your mouth are always "wow your such a pothead"
did it ever occur to you that ive been like that SINCE THE FUCKING DAY YOUVE MET ME?!
and I thought MY memory was bad.
And go ahead and criticize me for spending my money the wrong way.
and then tell me how much you paid for that banana republic shirt your wearing.
but it was on sale, so its ok.
how many bottles of wine, cases of beer, cigars and other shit have you purchased this year.
Neither of us stopped buying cds.
A cajon?
but I'm morally remis if I think about getting a new acoustic cause the one I have is fucked up.
If I tell you i worked a 12 hour day on 4 hours of sleep, you'll start to tell me about how you play sessions "underground till 2 in the morning."
I'm fucking happy for you. really.
You always have to one-up me, dont you.
I'm starting to think you point these things out just to feel better about yourself. which would be kinda pathetic, wouldnt it?
and the fucking TOPPER of all of this, is I have a hobby, and you have an addiction,. and I'm the asshole, right?
when was the last time you went a day without a cup of coffee?
but thats fine, cause its socially acceptable to drink coffee, and legal!
The damn thing is WHY AM I HERE AT 11:30 NOT SLEEPING CAUSE OF STUPID BULLSHIT YOUVE SAID TO ME.
I should know by now to just yes you to death and do my own thing and wait for you to either say "i told you so" or say nothing at all.
cause thats always the fucking way it is.
You always have to be right, dont you. you bastard.
God, I dont think there is a person in the world who lacks sypmathy and empathy as much as you.
its unthinkable.
And I'd call you up right now and say this all to you or wait till whenever to do it in person, but I gotta try to get some fucking sleep so I can make fucking money, to spend on shit like bonnaroo.
god forbid you actually give me the money you owe me insted of conviently forgetting every time we part ways.
cause chirst, you have so many bills to pay and things to pay for.
I feel so bad you had to spend so much on your girlfriends watch.
really.
And personally, between you and I...
you know what, im not even gonna go there.
It doesnt need to be said. its rather unnecessary.
reguardless, I know I have my faults man, I see em just as clearly as you do.
But I really dont need them pointed out to me at every possible moment.
I know. I see them. I dont call you an arogant asshole every time you talk about berklee, or new hampshire, or the new shirt you just bought for ungodly amounts of money.
we're all people. were all human. were all just peoplin. everyones a hypocrit.
I mean if you think you're the only one who isnt hypocritical, you need to get your head checked.
you can recycle all you want, but you still have 3 suvs in the driveway.
I got a truck and a dead van in mine. then again the truck is a work truck.
then again, we dont recycle either.
so were all human.
And I didnt want to blow up like that man, but seriously.
I know I talk alot and all, but that doesnt mean you have to tell me whats wrong with me in responce.
thats just unnecessary repetition.
and incase you missed it the handful of other times I've actually gotten pissed off enough to point this out to you:
the "load you up with negative bullshit untill you change" method doesnt really work for me.
it just gets me really aggravated.
which is why im here, and not sleeping.
so to wrap things up, think before you speak.
I know I never do, but then again, I'm not perfect.
I guess I took a hint from jacqui on the "blowing up on people you know" thing, but I guess its just that time of year..
I didnt go out tonight and smoke as i normally would. I would have been better off. Then I wouldnt be laying awake thinking about whats pissing me off right now. which is you, you bastard.
If I went out, I would have been home by 10:30 and passed out by now. But no. I had to do the "right" thing. I had to try to go to bed early to wake up in the morning and work. To make money. Fucking money.
So instead im left festering with all the negative things that have been thrown at me and all the judgemental bullshit you've laid on my shoulders.
Tell me to get a haircut, to go to the gym "cause you'll feel better" ... did I ever feel "bad" in the first place? or were you telling me I did.
Tell me I'm a pothead. Yeah, its so terrible.
Tell me how to spend my money. tell me how to run my life.
well fuck you. seriously fuck you.
When the shit hit the fan in my life, where were you? elsewhere. doing other shit.
and its fine, cause school and all the other shit that people have to do and that aint even your fault.
what about making an effort to come home on weekends. nah. work n shit.
how about being there for someone when they need you.
it wasnt my thing, but what was the line?
oh yeah
"im playing drums"
right.
You arogant fuck you.
sitting there all high and mighty telling me how to live my life.
like youve been in my shoes.
like you know.
you dont know shit.
I tell you all the things in the world, and all you do is wait to throw them back in my face and make me feel like shit.
If my house burnt down tomorrow youd probably ask me if I left a roach in the ashtray.
no, but seriously, did you?
my memory isnt 100% on one thing and the first words out of your mouth are always "wow your such a pothead"
did it ever occur to you that ive been like that SINCE THE FUCKING DAY YOUVE MET ME?!
and I thought MY memory was bad.
And go ahead and criticize me for spending my money the wrong way.
and then tell me how much you paid for that banana republic shirt your wearing.
but it was on sale, so its ok.
how many bottles of wine, cases of beer, cigars and other shit have you purchased this year.
Neither of us stopped buying cds.
A cajon?
but I'm morally remis if I think about getting a new acoustic cause the one I have is fucked up.
If I tell you i worked a 12 hour day on 4 hours of sleep, you'll start to tell me about how you play sessions "underground till 2 in the morning."
I'm fucking happy for you. really.
You always have to one-up me, dont you.
I'm starting to think you point these things out just to feel better about yourself. which would be kinda pathetic, wouldnt it?
and the fucking TOPPER of all of this, is I have a hobby, and you have an addiction,. and I'm the asshole, right?
when was the last time you went a day without a cup of coffee?
but thats fine, cause its socially acceptable to drink coffee, and legal!
The damn thing is WHY AM I HERE AT 11:30 NOT SLEEPING CAUSE OF STUPID BULLSHIT YOUVE SAID TO ME.
I should know by now to just yes you to death and do my own thing and wait for you to either say "i told you so" or say nothing at all.
cause thats always the fucking way it is.
You always have to be right, dont you. you bastard.
God, I dont think there is a person in the world who lacks sypmathy and empathy as much as you.
its unthinkable.
And I'd call you up right now and say this all to you or wait till whenever to do it in person, but I gotta try to get some fucking sleep so I can make fucking money, to spend on shit like bonnaroo.
god forbid you actually give me the money you owe me insted of conviently forgetting every time we part ways.
cause chirst, you have so many bills to pay and things to pay for.
I feel so bad you had to spend so much on your girlfriends watch.
really.
And personally, between you and I...
you know what, im not even gonna go there.
It doesnt need to be said. its rather unnecessary.
reguardless, I know I have my faults man, I see em just as clearly as you do.
But I really dont need them pointed out to me at every possible moment.
I know. I see them. I dont call you an arogant asshole every time you talk about berklee, or new hampshire, or the new shirt you just bought for ungodly amounts of money.
we're all people. were all human. were all just peoplin. everyones a hypocrit.
I mean if you think you're the only one who isnt hypocritical, you need to get your head checked.
you can recycle all you want, but you still have 3 suvs in the driveway.
I got a truck and a dead van in mine. then again the truck is a work truck.
then again, we dont recycle either.
so were all human.
And I didnt want to blow up like that man, but seriously.
I know I talk alot and all, but that doesnt mean you have to tell me whats wrong with me in responce.
thats just unnecessary repetition.
and incase you missed it the handful of other times I've actually gotten pissed off enough to point this out to you:
the "load you up with negative bullshit untill you change" method doesnt really work for me.
it just gets me really aggravated.
which is why im here, and not sleeping.
so to wrap things up, think before you speak.
I know I never do, but then again, I'm not perfect.