(no subject)
what an odd, odd last little while it is. goddamnit i hate when life goes into "learning experience mode." things get so damn significant...it's exhausting. and it's been the last 10 months or so.
up until today, this weekend has been pretty quiet. after the absolute shitshow that was thursday as a result of the driving test and absolutely sleepwalking through two shifts at the store, i opted to go into temporary hermit mode for most of the weekend. i demolished the second (and, sadly, final) season of carnivale while making nice with my ice packs and advil. the latter of which is rapidly falling out of favour with my stomach. so we'll have to work on that. but, the lifestyle has been paying off...that and the physio, i guess. i've got pretty much full mobility back aside from anything extreme and the occasional twinge of pain. i was making good enough progress that i caved and kept myself from playing v'ball with karen et al. on friday, for fear of reinjuring myself. goddamn i hate exercising restraint.
today? well, slight change. sort of. it was damn quiet until mid-afternoon when i made my way down to the island airport. a relative had given me a helicopter ride over downtown as a graduation present...let me tell you, it was an almost spooky experience. i mean, the ride itself? fucking awesome -- i've never been up in a helecopter before and they'd put me up in the bubble with the pilot, so i had the best view in the aircraft. but it was also a weird trip back in time. i hadn't been out to the airport since, frig, i think i was 14 maybe? in any event, it was right before we had to sell the cessina. it was just weird going down there, weird taking the ferry over and walking out on that tarmac but all alone this time. anyways, it just brought up a lot. but, don't get me wrong, the whole was all kinds of amazing.
it also made me an hour late for soccer practice. which i frankly just could sit on the sidelines and just watch. the practices and games the last few weeks have become harder and harder to go to and watch. i've come to realize i'm just very in touch with my inner masochist, it seems. anyways, i think that pent up frustration combined with annoyance about not having played volleyball on friday. so i decided fuck it, i'm going to play. it had the inevitable result, of course. but i think (hope...knock wood) that i dodged a bullet, since the leg settled down fairly fast tonight. so i'm hoping i didn't aggrivate things too badly. that said, i'm not sure if i can go to the next game wihtout making myself absolutely batshit crazy. the sad thing is, i had known it was likely i was going to miss most of the season, but i never thought it would be for this. well, whatever, i guess. life goes on. gimp gimp gimp, whine whine whine.
daily, it's dawning on me how close i am to leaving for good. and how many loose ends i have to tie up, how many things are likely to be left dangling. of course, i'm doing myself no favours going back to new brunswick next week. well, that's not entirely true. i know i have to go back. there are loose ends there, too. besides, i couldn't leave the country without doing one more 24 hour trip on the train. it felt weird flying out of there after con weekend -- actually, it felt weird from the moment i stepped off that stage. everything just seemed so bloody unfinished. hopefully i can at least make steps toward changing that. but i have a feeling toronto is going to be errily similar when the time comes.
up until today, this weekend has been pretty quiet. after the absolute shitshow that was thursday as a result of the driving test and absolutely sleepwalking through two shifts at the store, i opted to go into temporary hermit mode for most of the weekend. i demolished the second (and, sadly, final) season of carnivale while making nice with my ice packs and advil. the latter of which is rapidly falling out of favour with my stomach. so we'll have to work on that. but, the lifestyle has been paying off...that and the physio, i guess. i've got pretty much full mobility back aside from anything extreme and the occasional twinge of pain. i was making good enough progress that i caved and kept myself from playing v'ball with karen et al. on friday, for fear of reinjuring myself. goddamn i hate exercising restraint.
today? well, slight change. sort of. it was damn quiet until mid-afternoon when i made my way down to the island airport. a relative had given me a helicopter ride over downtown as a graduation present...let me tell you, it was an almost spooky experience. i mean, the ride itself? fucking awesome -- i've never been up in a helecopter before and they'd put me up in the bubble with the pilot, so i had the best view in the aircraft. but it was also a weird trip back in time. i hadn't been out to the airport since, frig, i think i was 14 maybe? in any event, it was right before we had to sell the cessina. it was just weird going down there, weird taking the ferry over and walking out on that tarmac but all alone this time. anyways, it just brought up a lot. but, don't get me wrong, the whole was all kinds of amazing.
it also made me an hour late for soccer practice. which i frankly just could sit on the sidelines and just watch. the practices and games the last few weeks have become harder and harder to go to and watch. i've come to realize i'm just very in touch with my inner masochist, it seems. anyways, i think that pent up frustration combined with annoyance about not having played volleyball on friday. so i decided fuck it, i'm going to play. it had the inevitable result, of course. but i think (hope...knock wood) that i dodged a bullet, since the leg settled down fairly fast tonight. so i'm hoping i didn't aggrivate things too badly. that said, i'm not sure if i can go to the next game wihtout making myself absolutely batshit crazy. the sad thing is, i had known it was likely i was going to miss most of the season, but i never thought it would be for this. well, whatever, i guess. life goes on. gimp gimp gimp, whine whine whine.
daily, it's dawning on me how close i am to leaving for good. and how many loose ends i have to tie up, how many things are likely to be left dangling. of course, i'm doing myself no favours going back to new brunswick next week. well, that's not entirely true. i know i have to go back. there are loose ends there, too. besides, i couldn't leave the country without doing one more 24 hour trip on the train. it felt weird flying out of there after con weekend -- actually, it felt weird from the moment i stepped off that stage. everything just seemed so bloody unfinished. hopefully i can at least make steps toward changing that. but i have a feeling toronto is going to be errily similar when the time comes.