ugh...
since i cant seem to find my journal i'll just write here since not a whole lot of people see it anyways...
1/09 2:11pm
how does someone as sweet as her, that knows she has the world to help her, a family to love her, suddenly turn all that away for stupid selfish crap... she tells me every time i offer to help that she doesnt want it, that she's changed and she doesnt suposedly "need" the help. she says she's just fine letting everyone pile on top their problems with her and have nothing to lean on herself, how do youu live that way? she doesnt even ask dick head for advice im guessing. when things go wrong how in the world can you say you're alone when you had friends like me, chris, logan, ryan, another chris and family like les, denise and rachel.... i hope she realises that soon cuz idk how much longer i want to be here for her. i love emi so much it's killing me to see that she isnt around anymore, just this heartless shell known as emily who nobody likes.
also i've done something really really stupid... out of absolute pain and hurt i let my feelings get to me. i know now that that was dumb of me, that it shouldnt of happened but its too late now, it happened. i was in pain and i wanted to forget about her, forget about why i was in so much pain and yea it worked but at what cost? the painful realization that i still truly love emi? the truth that nobody can make me feel as great as she did? a kiss felt like nothing with her but with emi it was beyond amazing. why did i do that...
god please save emi, save me, save chris please. i dont want to see her hurt, i dont want to see her lose her best friend, i dont want to feel this pain anymore... how much longer will it take for her to realize that im what she needs, she's what i need and chris is our best friend in the world so he's what we need...
Nick+
1/09 2:11pm
how does someone as sweet as her, that knows she has the world to help her, a family to love her, suddenly turn all that away for stupid selfish crap... she tells me every time i offer to help that she doesnt want it, that she's changed and she doesnt suposedly "need" the help. she says she's just fine letting everyone pile on top their problems with her and have nothing to lean on herself, how do youu live that way? she doesnt even ask dick head for advice im guessing. when things go wrong how in the world can you say you're alone when you had friends like me, chris, logan, ryan, another chris and family like les, denise and rachel.... i hope she realises that soon cuz idk how much longer i want to be here for her. i love emi so much it's killing me to see that she isnt around anymore, just this heartless shell known as emily who nobody likes.
also i've done something really really stupid... out of absolute pain and hurt i let my feelings get to me. i know now that that was dumb of me, that it shouldnt of happened but its too late now, it happened. i was in pain and i wanted to forget about her, forget about why i was in so much pain and yea it worked but at what cost? the painful realization that i still truly love emi? the truth that nobody can make me feel as great as she did? a kiss felt like nothing with her but with emi it was beyond amazing. why did i do that...
god please save emi, save me, save chris please. i dont want to see her hurt, i dont want to see her lose her best friend, i dont want to feel this pain anymore... how much longer will it take for her to realize that im what she needs, she's what i need and chris is our best friend in the world so he's what we need...
Nick+