Trying Hopelessly To Fill My Empty Life.
You'd think that having everything I want would enable me to fill all of the emptiness in my life. Well... you'd be wrong. Why? No idea. I have a great boyfriend, an awesome roommate, a cool apartment. I have a Christmas tree, the holidays always put a smile on my face. Things are good, I still get angry at the drop of a hat but I don't stay angry long. Jason is starting to enjoy school a little more so his anger at his department is on the back burner since he should be able to graduate next January. You would think this would enable me to let go, to fill the holes in my life with happy thoughts. But somehow you'd be wrong.
I can't figure it out. And I know that the letdown of Christmas is going to kill me again.
Why I think certain things can fill the emptiness is beyond me. Even if I were married and pregnant I'd still be trying to fill all the emotional holes in my heart. The real problem with all of this is that I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER and searching for one is pushing people in the wrong direction.
I'm still unsure of why I can't just be happy for awhile. I think I deserve it.
I can't figure it out. And I know that the letdown of Christmas is going to kill me again.
Why I think certain things can fill the emptiness is beyond me. Even if I were married and pregnant I'd still be trying to fill all the emotional holes in my heart. The real problem with all of this is that I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER and searching for one is pushing people in the wrong direction.
I'm still unsure of why I can't just be happy for awhile. I think I deserve it.