British legacies
Well, the Brits have left my native land for good. The barracks are empty now and they haven't a clue as to what to do with them as the whole plot falls into the possession of the city rather than the state. The Neue Osnabrücker Zeitung started a series called "The Brits and I" in which locals were given a space to share anecdotes with the rest of the unsuspecting public. These stories are mostly sentimetal memories but today's story made me cry laughing. For sake of brevity, I'll call the German 'Hans' and the Brit 'Tom'. The story goes as follows:
After a heavy night out drinking, Hans returned to his second floor flat and fell asleep on his sofa rather than his bed where he woke up because he heard a noise. He didn't find anything out of order so he went to sleep in his proper bed. Unfortunately, he didn't get to sleep in it for long cos the bed suddenly collapsed under him. He then heard his neighbour shout his name from the garden.
Hans stepped up to the window to find a very agitated neighbour who'd seen a burglar break into Hans's flat after climbing over the garage and the roof of the porch. Hans turned round and spotted a pair legs sticking out from UNDER his collapsed bed. So he shouted to his neighbour that he'd probably already knocked the guy out and that he should come up. Hans's neighbour obliged promptly, the police in tow. Together, the pulled the drunken soldier Tom out of the rubble.
It was later reconstructed by the police that the following must have happened. Hans's flat was the end of the barrack's fence. The completely paralytic Tom had simply confused left and right and walked towards the wrong end of the fence. Obviously, there was a practice of leaving windows open for latecomers by fellow soldiers. Tom climbed over what he assumed was the fence around the barracks, climbed through Hans's window, which happened to be open, and went to sleep UNDER Hans's bed cos he usually slept at the bottom of a bunk bed. After Hans had gone to bed, Tom turned round in his sleep thereby heaving the bed out of its joints.
Tom was later picked up by a decidedly unimpressed military police who found him leaning against the wall constantly slurring 'I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry.'
Comic Strip of the Day:
After a heavy night out drinking, Hans returned to his second floor flat and fell asleep on his sofa rather than his bed where he woke up because he heard a noise. He didn't find anything out of order so he went to sleep in his proper bed. Unfortunately, he didn't get to sleep in it for long cos the bed suddenly collapsed under him. He then heard his neighbour shout his name from the garden.
Hans stepped up to the window to find a very agitated neighbour who'd seen a burglar break into Hans's flat after climbing over the garage and the roof of the porch. Hans turned round and spotted a pair legs sticking out from UNDER his collapsed bed. So he shouted to his neighbour that he'd probably already knocked the guy out and that he should come up. Hans's neighbour obliged promptly, the police in tow. Together, the pulled the drunken soldier Tom out of the rubble.
It was later reconstructed by the police that the following must have happened. Hans's flat was the end of the barrack's fence. The completely paralytic Tom had simply confused left and right and walked towards the wrong end of the fence. Obviously, there was a practice of leaving windows open for latecomers by fellow soldiers. Tom climbed over what he assumed was the fence around the barracks, climbed through Hans's window, which happened to be open, and went to sleep UNDER Hans's bed cos he usually slept at the bottom of a bunk bed. After Hans had gone to bed, Tom turned round in his sleep thereby heaving the bed out of its joints.
Tom was later picked up by a decidedly unimpressed military police who found him leaning against the wall constantly slurring 'I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry.'
Comic Strip of the Day: