Look, I remembered I have a dreamwidth account!
Long time no see! As of yesterday, l have now reached the ripe old age of 35. It seems kind of momentous for some reason. I was 25 when I first started livejournaling, 10 years in February next year. Time flies. Coming up to two years since dad went to the hospital and all went to hell in January. Time flies and I feel like I needed some perspective.
I suppose I do find a certain inevitable calmness in this weird situation we are in. Living with mum and dad again, being in a state of constant vigilance regarding dad's health, very much "us" against the rest of the world, yet the ever continuing almost malicious bickering between mum and sister. It is an everyday warzone of small domestic fights, yet filled with love for dad and each other.. What or where else could I possibly do or be at the moment without feeling empty and sad? This is where I am supposed to be right now, and only time can tell for how long that will be.
At least I had a wonderful birthday with perfect autumn weather and lots of family love. Nothing like last year's drama. I pretty much got the day off, took a walk in the sun, and then had gorgeous Cortina cake and Pol Roger champagne with the whole family. Best moment was when dad tried as hard as he could to join in the birthday singing, and then he pretty much drained his glas of champagne completely on his own. So very cute.
I also got my birthday present to myself, well I payed 60% and mum 40% of it so she was definitely in on it - but I ordered it. So I write this on my brand new Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1
I suppose I do find a certain inevitable calmness in this weird situation we are in. Living with mum and dad again, being in a state of constant vigilance regarding dad's health, very much "us" against the rest of the world, yet the ever continuing almost malicious bickering between mum and sister. It is an everyday warzone of small domestic fights, yet filled with love for dad and each other.. What or where else could I possibly do or be at the moment without feeling empty and sad? This is where I am supposed to be right now, and only time can tell for how long that will be.
At least I had a wonderful birthday with perfect autumn weather and lots of family love. Nothing like last year's drama. I pretty much got the day off, took a walk in the sun, and then had gorgeous Cortina cake and Pol Roger champagne with the whole family. Best moment was when dad tried as hard as he could to join in the birthday singing, and then he pretty much drained his glas of champagne completely on his own. So very cute.
I also got my birthday present to myself, well I payed 60% and mum 40% of it so she was definitely in on it - but I ordered it. So I write this on my brand new Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1