(no subject)

[burymewiththis]

i've got a stomach full of pills and i'm feeling low. not as in depressed...just, i'm honestly not sure. something doesn't feel right. i mean, i'm the happiest i've been in a coon's age. probably more than i ever have. i think i just got so used to being down that now that i'm happy, ii'm not exactly sure what to think or do. i feel as though i don't have a reason to drink or get fucked up anymore. but i still do and somehow, it seems slightly empty. i don't get the same fulfilment as i used to. i think i've learnewd what i was suppost to and now i'm to move on...but to where...that's the question i suppose. the newest one in a series of deaths and births. i'm a few months away from being 23 and i'm still relying on people to live. to have a roof, food and such things to keep my being alive/addicted. what's really strange is that when i was depressed, that's when i'd have most of my disscussions and all that hibblty pibblty. and now i have all these things running through my head and i need to vent them. but it's as though someone shoved thier dirty laundry in a vent....something's been blocked so to speak. i need that atmosphere. i need a recreation. i need devestation.
ATTN!: COFFMAN and NICK K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna be getting ahold of both of you here pretty soon. me and the woman are gonna be in lexztown on the 20th and 21rst and i'd love to i need to sit down with the both of you, share a drink and talk. it could be done seperately or all togehter, .....and altogwether would be a wonderous thing.

all in all, i've been trying to write. i've been doing some nice photography. i really think that this is where i belong. i haven't felt that in a long time.

jason goddamn waste