(no subject)
i was so sad when i woke up alone this morning.
he was here for five hours today, and i didn't want him to leave. he told me to call him if i got scared... something you would say to a child. realistically, i'd take him up on the offer if i wasn't so damn prideful.
i'm losing my damn mind, and i'm being clingy. i hate clingy.
part of the reason we mesh so well together is we've been interdependent on each other. we have friends, and separate friends. we respect alone time. but now, i don't want him to leave. when he's here, i want him to myself. i resent his friends and list their flaws to him. this isn't me.
i recognize this is not healthy behaviour and i intend to put a stop to it. i just don't know what's come over me. i just feel like i am running out of ways to say that i appreciate him.
so i just cut myself off from him... for the time being. after five hours of him exisiting with me here, i said he should do other things than feel responsible to sit at home with me on a saturday night.
since then, i watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona and have been crying . it's not even a sad movie. i'm just tired and i have an incredibly long day ahead of me tomorrow.
moral of the story? natalie needs a vacation. i'm going to indiana
he was here for five hours today, and i didn't want him to leave. he told me to call him if i got scared... something you would say to a child. realistically, i'd take him up on the offer if i wasn't so damn prideful.
i'm losing my damn mind, and i'm being clingy. i hate clingy.
part of the reason we mesh so well together is we've been interdependent on each other. we have friends, and separate friends. we respect alone time. but now, i don't want him to leave. when he's here, i want him to myself. i resent his friends and list their flaws to him. this isn't me.
i recognize this is not healthy behaviour and i intend to put a stop to it. i just don't know what's come over me. i just feel like i am running out of ways to say that i appreciate him.
so i just cut myself off from him... for the time being. after five hours of him exisiting with me here, i said he should do other things than feel responsible to sit at home with me on a saturday night.
since then, i watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona and have been crying . it's not even a sad movie. i'm just tired and i have an incredibly long day ahead of me tomorrow.
moral of the story? natalie needs a vacation. i'm going to indiana