John's Dad
Last Wednesday John was on a flight home from Phoenix when I got a frantic phone call from his sister who is visiting their sick father out in Kentucky. She said she thinks their dad had a stroke, she found him slumped over at his desk in a pool of saliva, unresponsive and since she had been outside doing some house upkeep she's not sure how long he'd been there for and they were on their way to the ER.
It was the longest 45 minutes ever until John's flight landed.
It was too late to catch a flight out to KY that day so he caught one the following morning. By the time he made it to see his dad in the hospital about 24 hours later his dad was awake and asking for beer and cigarettes. Whew!
We had been talking about his dad for the past month and I kept harping on him to go visit sooner rather than later because something big was going to happen and if it happened before he made time to visit he was going to kick himself over it forever. And then of course something big happened 4 days before his planned flight out there.
His dad's been on 24/7 oxygen for years now and all he does is drink Busch Lites and smoke cigarettes and play Soduku all day. When we visited a few Xmases ago I saw him eat food like 4 times all week.
John's been out in KY since Thursday and won't be back until Oct 3. John wanted Olivia and I to go out there for moral support, but it would've cost like 3 grand on such short notice and nobody wants a crazy 3 year old running around. Luckily his sister was already out there and his mom and brother are there as well and his other brother is flying in tonight, so nobody is "alone" and I feel less guilty about not being there.
I felt really awkward trying to say helpful things to John the Wednesday the stroke (or whatever it was, they're still not 100% sure) because while both of my parents are physically alive they're both pretty much "dead" in my head. My mom takes such awful care of herself now that it's honestly just a matter of time and I have braced myself mentally for that day and my dad and I were never really close, he was more of an uncle than anything, and since the whole being thrown in prison thing that hasn't helped matters at all.
It's a weird situation. John and his dad are close, though they're totally 'manly men' about it and don't really call and talk to each other or anything. John's horrible about talking about his emotions. I assume his dad is as well. When his dad passes John's going to fall apart. I can feel it in my gut. His dad has said he doesn't want to be put on life support, he just wants to be put in a nursing home so he can die and not be a burden on anybody. He's to the point where he can't shower by myself anymore and needs help going to the bathroom. He's over it and he knows what he wants.
So I had that whole debacle heavy on my mind all week and then last night I watched a documentary about the Dignity in Death laws in Oregon and Washington ("How to Die in Oregon") and it was like the worst thing I could've done because I was a blubbering mess by the end. It's a REALLY good documentary, it's just one of the saddest ones I've ever watched. Faaack, I'm welling up just thinking about it!
Anyway, that's why it's been quiet on my end. Hope you guys are having less monumental weeks - or if you are, I hope they're monumental in all the best ways. :)
It was the longest 45 minutes ever until John's flight landed.
It was too late to catch a flight out to KY that day so he caught one the following morning. By the time he made it to see his dad in the hospital about 24 hours later his dad was awake and asking for beer and cigarettes. Whew!
We had been talking about his dad for the past month and I kept harping on him to go visit sooner rather than later because something big was going to happen and if it happened before he made time to visit he was going to kick himself over it forever. And then of course something big happened 4 days before his planned flight out there.
His dad's been on 24/7 oxygen for years now and all he does is drink Busch Lites and smoke cigarettes and play Soduku all day. When we visited a few Xmases ago I saw him eat food like 4 times all week.
John's been out in KY since Thursday and won't be back until Oct 3. John wanted Olivia and I to go out there for moral support, but it would've cost like 3 grand on such short notice and nobody wants a crazy 3 year old running around. Luckily his sister was already out there and his mom and brother are there as well and his other brother is flying in tonight, so nobody is "alone" and I feel less guilty about not being there.
I felt really awkward trying to say helpful things to John the Wednesday the stroke (or whatever it was, they're still not 100% sure) because while both of my parents are physically alive they're both pretty much "dead" in my head. My mom takes such awful care of herself now that it's honestly just a matter of time and I have braced myself mentally for that day and my dad and I were never really close, he was more of an uncle than anything, and since the whole being thrown in prison thing that hasn't helped matters at all.
It's a weird situation. John and his dad are close, though they're totally 'manly men' about it and don't really call and talk to each other or anything. John's horrible about talking about his emotions. I assume his dad is as well. When his dad passes John's going to fall apart. I can feel it in my gut. His dad has said he doesn't want to be put on life support, he just wants to be put in a nursing home so he can die and not be a burden on anybody. He's to the point where he can't shower by myself anymore and needs help going to the bathroom. He's over it and he knows what he wants.
So I had that whole debacle heavy on my mind all week and then last night I watched a documentary about the Dignity in Death laws in Oregon and Washington ("How to Die in Oregon") and it was like the worst thing I could've done because I was a blubbering mess by the end. It's a REALLY good documentary, it's just one of the saddest ones I've ever watched. Faaack, I'm welling up just thinking about it!
Anyway, that's why it's been quiet on my end. Hope you guys are having less monumental weeks - or if you are, I hope they're monumental in all the best ways. :)