2011 to 2013
If you can believe it, those are the same pair of sunglasses! Apparently I carried 30 lbs in my face.
Seriously though, there's a 67 lb and 2 year difference between these photos.
Weight loss wise, I've been doing really well. Finally broke into the 130s the other week, which is somewhere I haven't been since 2008, and so far have stayed there.
My work out motivation has left the building though. I was doing really well and then slipped into a depression and basically just existed on the couch. I hate when I do that. I feel bad for Olivia having to entertain herself and beg me to feed her. Every time I stood up I felt dizzy, so I did that as few times as I could get away with.
I don't know if it's anemia, hypoglycemia or standard issue depression or what. I've been taking vitamins with iron fairly regularly (I miss a day here and there, but take them more days than I don't) and have been noticing less bruises, so that's a plus.
I've been going to bed super late and waking up when my alarm goes off at 8, but then hitting snooze until 10 or 11 when Olivia wakes herself up and Boston is giving me a death glare like, "Woman. If you don't get out of bed I'm going to shit all over your floor!"
It's selfish and it's self destructive and I don't know how to stop doing it.
I tried moving my alarm/phone across the room, but I just get out, turn it off and crawl back into bed.
When I do get up I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I do try and make an effort with Olivia, but with everybody else I just kind of glaze over. I don't have the energy for more than myself and my kid. I sound like an asshole saying that.
Even the internet has lost its appeal. I used to love logging on and talking to my scattered "2nd family" group of friends, but I don't even log onto my messengers anymore because I don't have the focus or energy to deal with anybody anymore.
The only person I've been talking to the past week or so is my friend "Cy" who sought me out to ask for diet and workout advice. I will help anybody who is actually making an effort and not just talking the talk.
She is looking to lose 100+ lbs with the hopes that it will help her fertility and so she can avoid getting gastric bypass or the lap band. She's been my friend since I was like 15 or 16 years old, and though we don't really talk super regularly she is still one of my best friends. She just started Crossfit and is LOVING it and is obsessed with it in all the best ways :) I can't wait to see where she is in 6 months. I'm also honored she values what I have to say in regards to health and fitness! Even though she is doing all the work, I feel like I set an example that it can be done - even if it takes a few years to do it.
It really makes me want to go back to school and get a degree in Nutrition or some other sort of health related field.
So, that's me in a nut shell.
I turn 30 in less than 3 weeks. That may have something to do with my current mood?