So afraid I'm shaking...
I don't know what to think right now. I was in a decent mood until I got back here and I went to leave Andrew a message. Hopeing there was a way to say all the things I still feel the need to say to him. But it won't let me leave him a message cause his away thing is up, preventing anyone from messaging him on myspace. It say,"fuck off i'm dead" and that worries me alot. I know he's kinda suicidal and I couldn't handle anything happening to him. He hasn't called or anything and I miss him. Everyone tells me not to call him but I think I will tomorrow because I just need to know that he's okay. I have no idea what's going on. I want him back so badly that nothing else matters right now. I wish it wasn't Christmas because my grandma is in a worse mood than usual because of all the cleaning she thinks she has to do and everything else and I despise being forced to be around my family, who pretty much doesn't understand the first thing about me because I'm so much different than my cousins. I hate being stuck around them and I can't wait to go home. I just want everything to be right again with Andrew and I cause I love him SO much. It hurts being away from him like this and I hate not knowing how he feels or what he wants or what he;s thinking. We told each other everything when we were dating and now I haven't talked to him on the phone in a month. It's killing me inside not to talk to him. I don't sleep worth a damn and therefore am tired and moody all the friggen time.
I love him and he says he still loves me...It should be as simple as we should be together cause we're still in love but nothing is ever that simple and it just isn't fair. I hate this..I hate feeling cold and lonely and angry all the time because everyone is happily with someone or someone likes them and once again I'm left with nothing. I don't mean to sound so emo and everything but that's how I feel. I wish this would all go back to the way it should be, but it won't. It's like a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from no matter what I do.
Someone help...I just want to stop hurting. And the only way that will happen is with a hell of a lot of time..or my wild pierced angel. I'd rather it be the second choice of course. *sigh* I just want to hear him tell me he loves me again and call me baby. I'm fuckin pathetic...I quit...Gonna try and get some sleep. Much love to everyone.
I love him and he says he still loves me...It should be as simple as we should be together cause we're still in love but nothing is ever that simple and it just isn't fair. I hate this..I hate feeling cold and lonely and angry all the time because everyone is happily with someone or someone likes them and once again I'm left with nothing. I don't mean to sound so emo and everything but that's how I feel. I wish this would all go back to the way it should be, but it won't. It's like a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from no matter what I do.
Someone help...I just want to stop hurting. And the only way that will happen is with a hell of a lot of time..or my wild pierced angel. I'd rather it be the second choice of course. *sigh* I just want to hear him tell me he loves me again and call me baby. I'm fuckin pathetic...I quit...Gonna try and get some sleep. Much love to everyone.