and grow up fast. and grow up fast. don't grow up fast.
today i had a great talk with a junkie kid outside the coolest coffee place ever. people passed a bowl around on the patio out on the street, played their songs inside, danced and spoke poetry. yeah. i like that type of stuff.
i have severed my roots and am drifting. just nobody, not even me, realizes it yet. i'm not, probably ever, going back to daytona, unless it's to play music and leave. so where does that leave me? portland isn't my home. will anyplace ever be again, like grandview or mariners before that? i'll keep tattoos for homes that i have loved. i have more of an insight than most on the way riptides take you out. however you grab at the sand underneath, it'll just slip away.
my friends are my home. so scattered, far out in the world and spreading each day. am i diluted? could my soul spread across the continents? when i'm gone, will it remain in little things, imparted to people and their lineage? or, simply, will this song live on long after i do?
i always look back, in a half revolution. private history gets under my skin and in the cracks, some things i'll remember and nobody else will. why i love what and who i do. why they love(d) me. attachment always seemed one-sided to my closest friends, but nobody needs anyone in this day and age. we have single-serving love. cold affection meant for pictures and not imparting so you know deep down. but these are the people wars are fought for and around. the lines are long and once you step out of place, you're done. that's not who i am. i am for quick impulse life decisions, and love conquering all. i am nine years old and i will never understand 'it's not that simple...', or sorority girls ravaging the nights and burying the romance.
i got caught in the ruse of the world. it's just a promise no one ever keeps. oh, the irony, again.
i remember the stupid things. the mood rings. the bracelets and the beads.
nickels and dimes, yours and mine. did you cash in all your dreams?
you don't dream for me, no...
but i still feel you pulsing like sonar from the days in the waves.
that girl is like a sunburn i would like to save.