Chapter 25: The Real Folk Blues ( Verse 1 )
So...you'll find me sitting in that black suit, with that red tie. Theres no smile on my face, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy. No, quite the opposite....it's just....at that particular moment in time, you caught me at the worst point of the day. Its that point where I realized how everything went so horribly wrong, how I rectified the problem, and how....10 months later....there we stand. Don't try to rewind to those memories: that memory where we were in the rain, and it felt like heaven was washing the earth of all it's filth. It was just washing whatever was left of your soul. And when those 10 months roll by, we'll stare face to face. eye to eye. heart to heart. And when you look into my eyes, you'll realize: that your whole life, the things you take for granted, the people that you hurt along the way, the way your heart became nothing but a cold Anchorage morning in the winter, and the way you speak to me will never be the same again:
I just wanna bring you down so badly. In the worst way.
Given one more try
I don't know if I would stay
I feel so much better now
Where did we go wrong
I know you still hold on to me
But it's time that you let go
I gave you things I had
That I could not get back again
But I'm better off alone
it's all gone gray - YC
This is the last 2 chapters of this lj or xanga thing. For 3 years, I've ranted, bragged, gotten into arguements, and have set peace of mind with myself during this extended period of time. I guess when a person gets older, they start to lose touch with certain things, and as such, livejournal or blogging in general no longer really holds a purpose anymore. There isn't a need to tell everyone what's on my mind, and how am I gonna get through the next task of my life. My friends don't want to know what happens with me, and I don't feel a need to post it. In the end, it all matters about just being you at the end of the day. When you know that you're still willing to give, when others are less fortunate than yourself, you have that right to feel good or proud.
I'm not a standout person. I'm really not. In the past, I've always tried to be this kid, who just wanted his one chance at the spotlight, but never got it. Whether it came to my friends making bands, creating movies, playing sports, or just hanging out...a person can get that feeling of constantly being put out onto the sidelines. Or, in the shadows without a say in anything. Thats all changed now. I have my band, Ready and Go! And i'm starting to write for independent films while I'm here at the U of A. The biggest thing that I look forward to in life however, is to take over my dad's company, Acunova, once I get all my degrees and whatnot. Needless to say, I'll have my chance to prove myself to the world very soon. But even though i've gotten off the sidelines, and outta that shadow by the corner, I'm still going to be me, and try not to copy someone elses act. Such as: the singer/poet, the sarcastic loveable, the one everyone loves, a ska king, the track star, the video gamer, or the awesome guitar player. All I can be is me, and its all I have to give. When someone says, " Oh yea, Orin! That kid....was...funny, sarcastic, and always angry...". And then when you hear about it, all people talk about is how your traits are just the replication of someone elses identity. I don't want to be remembered like that. I don't want to be remembered for my antics or ...my hair style or something. I would love just to be remembed as "That kid who was just a normal, ordinary, nice person."
- Just one
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on
I would take the chance if I could have it
Just one
Just one
p.s.: Happy birthday Alex and Gordon. Sorry I couldn't be there...