Erase the memory of your face
"Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid they're going to leave."
Click to viewHappy birthday Eeni! :)
Suntan w Took and Kerrie today. Took said my boobs got smaller HAHAHA Hmm supposed to go town today but didn't. Went to AMK to catch a movie instead. Kelly came over to amk first, walked around while waiting for Xhm and Biru. Caught Poker King w Took, Kerrie, Brenda, Eke, Kelly, Biru and Xhm. -gawdz- damn hilarious make me lmao only.
Met the rest up for steamboat :) THE FOOD THERE ARE LIKE SUCKY -.- SUPER FULL. But kept stuffing food cause I don't wna feel hungry later on. I'M A FATTY LA :( Celebrated Eeni's bday :D Went to camwhore, took train home w west people while the rest went to slack.
i don't feel like talking now. yes fuck moodswings. i think its rather... idk..
I'm still the lousiest. I suck at everything I do. i'm so lousy. enjoy the game, but i can't. i feel stress even when im having a normal trg. nothing for me to prove and i cant. im stressing at almost everthing. my appearance, my skills, my friends, money, results. i'm so excited about the tnet cup. but what if i dont get on court? what if i dont play well? im like hopeless. i envy players who gets to play for like 3 out of 4 quarters. tiring i know, but i think the feeling of getting on court to play is damn good. getting which jersey number doesnt matter anymore. as long as i can perform well on court, any number will do. "its not the number that brings you out, its your skills that brings that number out." Hope i can play for yts one more year. everytime i get on court, i feel like im a burden to the team. xjl wants us to be confident, but i dont have any confidence. no confidence how to play. keep reminding myself to have confidence, but those countless self reminders didnt work. im sick of being a burden to the team but i dont wna give up. and idk what to do.