(no subject)
i think i have something serious, i've been feeling fatigued all the time. my teeth are getting worse and i keep putting off the dentist because every time i've gone it's been off-putting. i'm living in a flop-house that smells of cat-piss because my roommate refuses to neuter her cat. i'm being fooled by my job to believe that i'm going to be making a lot of money and that no other job can offer me the kind of pay they can, because it's all up to me taking initiative by becoming a shark and learning all that i can about different components and devices.
strangley enough, i'm still feeling alright because there are three things in my life that make me feel accomplished. when it comes down to it there is a finite amount of things that make a person feel good about their life.
another dream about will last night. will's band was doing well and had to buy a ton of new equipment. the biggest item they bought was a stage, that's right a traveling stage, huge as shit with lights and the whole bit. he was making a bunch of signs asking people for money if they supported his music. i thought it was a flyer showing places that i frequent so someone could beat me up for the money i've stolen from him. i don't know what to make of the whole thing, i'm thinking that it might be about success because will has definitly been more successful with music. as far as skill goes i know just about everyone is more skilled a musician than i am but i find very few of my peers write music that i would listen to voluntarily. there's that whole notion of the unappreciated and misunderstood artist that i've always connected with. i've always felt that if someone doesn't like a song i've written its because they don't understand. i don't know if that's true, maybe i just don't write songs worth listening to. maybe that's too much for me to deal with so i create some complex to deal with it.
strangley enough, i'm still feeling alright because there are three things in my life that make me feel accomplished. when it comes down to it there is a finite amount of things that make a person feel good about their life.
another dream about will last night. will's band was doing well and had to buy a ton of new equipment. the biggest item they bought was a stage, that's right a traveling stage, huge as shit with lights and the whole bit. he was making a bunch of signs asking people for money if they supported his music. i thought it was a flyer showing places that i frequent so someone could beat me up for the money i've stolen from him. i don't know what to make of the whole thing, i'm thinking that it might be about success because will has definitly been more successful with music. as far as skill goes i know just about everyone is more skilled a musician than i am but i find very few of my peers write music that i would listen to voluntarily. there's that whole notion of the unappreciated and misunderstood artist that i've always connected with. i've always felt that if someone doesn't like a song i've written its because they don't understand. i don't know if that's true, maybe i just don't write songs worth listening to. maybe that's too much for me to deal with so i create some complex to deal with it.