where's the proof in you?
Title: where's the proof in you?
Characters: Vanessa Abrams, Nate Archibald
Rating/Word Count: PG13/1348
One-Line Excerpt:Your story will be more than boy meets girl. This is what she tells herself when she thinks about Nate too often.
-
There's a copy of Peter Pan that Vanessa has had since she was eleven.
(Ruby had kissed her goodbye then gone out on her own, fearless and beautiful and brave like Vanessa had always wanted to be, tucked the book into Vanessa's back pocket and whispered don't ever stop believing in magic)
The cover is tattered and the pages are dog-eared, but only one part is highlighted.
Don't you understand Tink? You mean more to me than anything in the whole world!
She wonders what part she's supposed to play in this story.
-
A smile, fingers on black and white keys, kissing on the doorstep.
She's disappointed that she falls so easily. This is not who she's supposed to be.
-
They get into the hang of things eventually, class issues be damned. It's almost simple.
Vanessa watched Dan get dragged into the Upper East Side and lost in the depths of Serena. She told herself she wouldn't let the same thing happen to her.
Of course, she goes to the events, the galas, and if she was a better filmmaker (more dedicated to art than her pretty boyfriend), she would hide camera's in the girls room and call it The Gilded Age.
But he comes to Brooklyn just as often, and most of the time she wishes he would just stay there.
In Brooklyn, her feet are planted more firmly on the ground and she doesn't fill her head with dreams as often.
In Brooklyn, when she wakes up to Nate's bed head and sleepy smile, there'a s feeling that seeps through her entire body and settles deep in her bones, warm and fast and glowing.
She likes to think its love.
-
There's a Polaroid camera on the nightstand, video camera at the foot of the bed, and extra tape and editing equipment on the desk chair. Nate stays away at first, wary of breaking something but eventually he plays with her passion.
Once, Nate snaps a picture of his feet with the Polaroid and taped it to the foot of the bed, laughing all the while.
Because he is Nate, more dream than reality and certainly more chivalrous than any prince, he scribbles my feet are here to keep yours warm without a second thought in his elegant handwriting.
Months later, she finds it underneath covered in dust underneath the bed, keeping company with dirty socks and Hershey Kisses wrappers.
She tries not to cry.
-
"We are such a cliche," she mutters as they browse for candy at Dylan's Candy Bar. A song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory wafts through the speakers and somewhere in the store a child is throwing a tantrum.
"Oh, but we're a delicious one," Nate says suggestively through a mouthful of gummy bears and Vanesa rolls her eyes a little even though she's smiling wide.
"You know, you have terrible manners," she responds with a casual shrug of her shoulder. The comment is meant to mock; he's one of the only gentlemen she's ever really known.
"You know you love me."
The words come out playful and teasing; the smile on his face makes her pause before speaking.
Only the Hershey's Kisses hear her say, "Yeah I do," as she gently places them on top of the peach rings. She wouldn't want them (the peach rings, that is) to get hurt.
He presses a kiss to the top of her head and she leans back into him with her eyes closed.
-
Your story will be more than boy meets girl.
This is what Vanessa tells herself whenever she thinks of Nate too often. Her heart meets her halfway, too lovesick and anxious and happy to care about things like reality.
-
There's a moment when she's snuggled into the broad plain of Nate's chest, his thumb on the brass button of her jeans and lips on the side of her neck; there's a black and white movie playing in the background.
Vanessa tsks him, brushes his fingers away from her pants and settles her gaze on the screen.
Nate sighs, shifts his gaze to the screen too and his eyebrows shoot up in recognition.
"I watched this movie with Blair a couple of times," he mentions proudly. She studies his face as he talks, notices the crinkle in between his eyebrows that is hard to see in between his bangs. She recognizes this as his concentration face.
"At least I think it was. I never really paid attentions to Blair's movies."
The comment stings, and these are the moments that remind her Nate always belongs to more than one girl. He's Blair's fallback and Serena's soulmate but he's hers now and it doesn't really seem fair that she's always sharing him.
Vanessa has never dared to believe that Nate was hers for keeps, but she'd like all of him right now thank you very much.
-
Europe is a flurry of feelings.
Of course there are cathedrals and food carts and the pulsing beat of music flowing through her veins, but mostly there's the feel of Nate's eyes on her face and the sound that's not quite a snore when he sleeps and a million other little feelings that she supresses with a cocktail.
-
Let's pretend Scott never happened. Not to her, not as a romantic interest.
She thought he'd be enough of Dan and maybe, maybe if she was really lucky just the smallest pieces of Nate but-
let's just pretend Scott never happened.
-
She's always startled when she walks into the apartment to find Nate drinking coffee, telling her Dan went to pick up food, I ordered you that pad thai you like with the extra crunchy things and wearing plaid like some weird doppelganger.
There's a terrible, horrifying moment when she can't remember who she's dating.
(later that night, when she's sleeping in one of Nate's old shirts but in Dan's bed she will have a dream. It involves the curve of Nate's mouth and the feel of his lips, Dan's hands and her own fingers grasp at flannel sheets because she feels like she's falling out of her own skin. Her mouth is a perfect o when she wakes up and she can't decide if it was a dream or a nightmare.)
-
Jenny visits occasionally, and sometimes Vanessa can't quite look her in the eyes.
So young, and she finally looks it again with her face swept clean of makeup and old sweatpants hanging off her thin frame.
"How's Nate doing?" Jenny asks over grilled cheese and tomato soup, with an undercurrent of schoolgirl crush. Vanessa wonders if any of them will ever learn.
"He has a new girlfriend named Juliet," she says in a watch it tone and wave of her hand.
She isn't sure if she's talking to herself or Jenny.
-
"What do you want out of life Nate?"
It's two in the afternoon on a Sunday, and they're in his bed. A Baccarat crystal plate is between them, filled with Nutella and croissants. There's a bottle of champagne on his nightstand.
(the champagne is cheap because she bought it at some bodega but he smiled anyways and took the first swig)
It's a loaded question, but Nate doesn't realize that of course.
He shrugs and Vanessa admires his delts.
"Why can't we just live in the present?"
You're living on borrowed time, she thinks to herself but she pastes a grin on anyways and laughs when Nate tickles her and licks Nutella off her inner thigh.
-
There's this song that Vanessa has always loved, and it goes like this:
I don't believe in anything but myself
I don't believe in anything but myself.
But then you opened up the door, you opened up a door
Now I start to believe in something else.
But how do I know if I make it through?
And how do I know, where's the proof in you?
The irony doesn't escape her; whenever the song comes up on shuffle she closes her eyes and presses next.
-
Characters: Vanessa Abrams, Nate Archibald
Rating/Word Count: PG13/1348
One-Line Excerpt:Your story will be more than boy meets girl. This is what she tells herself when she thinks about Nate too often.
-
There's a copy of Peter Pan that Vanessa has had since she was eleven.
(Ruby had kissed her goodbye then gone out on her own, fearless and beautiful and brave like Vanessa had always wanted to be, tucked the book into Vanessa's back pocket and whispered don't ever stop believing in magic)
The cover is tattered and the pages are dog-eared, but only one part is highlighted.
Don't you understand Tink? You mean more to me than anything in the whole world!
She wonders what part she's supposed to play in this story.
-
A smile, fingers on black and white keys, kissing on the doorstep.
She's disappointed that she falls so easily. This is not who she's supposed to be.
-
They get into the hang of things eventually, class issues be damned. It's almost simple.
Vanessa watched Dan get dragged into the Upper East Side and lost in the depths of Serena. She told herself she wouldn't let the same thing happen to her.
Of course, she goes to the events, the galas, and if she was a better filmmaker (more dedicated to art than her pretty boyfriend), she would hide camera's in the girls room and call it The Gilded Age.
But he comes to Brooklyn just as often, and most of the time she wishes he would just stay there.
In Brooklyn, her feet are planted more firmly on the ground and she doesn't fill her head with dreams as often.
In Brooklyn, when she wakes up to Nate's bed head and sleepy smile, there'a s feeling that seeps through her entire body and settles deep in her bones, warm and fast and glowing.
She likes to think its love.
-
There's a Polaroid camera on the nightstand, video camera at the foot of the bed, and extra tape and editing equipment on the desk chair. Nate stays away at first, wary of breaking something but eventually he plays with her passion.
Once, Nate snaps a picture of his feet with the Polaroid and taped it to the foot of the bed, laughing all the while.
Because he is Nate, more dream than reality and certainly more chivalrous than any prince, he scribbles my feet are here to keep yours warm without a second thought in his elegant handwriting.
Months later, she finds it underneath covered in dust underneath the bed, keeping company with dirty socks and Hershey Kisses wrappers.
She tries not to cry.
-
"We are such a cliche," she mutters as they browse for candy at Dylan's Candy Bar. A song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory wafts through the speakers and somewhere in the store a child is throwing a tantrum.
"Oh, but we're a delicious one," Nate says suggestively through a mouthful of gummy bears and Vanesa rolls her eyes a little even though she's smiling wide.
"You know, you have terrible manners," she responds with a casual shrug of her shoulder. The comment is meant to mock; he's one of the only gentlemen she's ever really known.
"You know you love me."
The words come out playful and teasing; the smile on his face makes her pause before speaking.
Only the Hershey's Kisses hear her say, "Yeah I do," as she gently places them on top of the peach rings. She wouldn't want them (the peach rings, that is) to get hurt.
He presses a kiss to the top of her head and she leans back into him with her eyes closed.
-
Your story will be more than boy meets girl.
This is what Vanessa tells herself whenever she thinks of Nate too often. Her heart meets her halfway, too lovesick and anxious and happy to care about things like reality.
-
There's a moment when she's snuggled into the broad plain of Nate's chest, his thumb on the brass button of her jeans and lips on the side of her neck; there's a black and white movie playing in the background.
Vanessa tsks him, brushes his fingers away from her pants and settles her gaze on the screen.
Nate sighs, shifts his gaze to the screen too and his eyebrows shoot up in recognition.
"I watched this movie with Blair a couple of times," he mentions proudly. She studies his face as he talks, notices the crinkle in between his eyebrows that is hard to see in between his bangs. She recognizes this as his concentration face.
"At least I think it was. I never really paid attentions to Blair's movies."
The comment stings, and these are the moments that remind her Nate always belongs to more than one girl. He's Blair's fallback and Serena's soulmate but he's hers now and it doesn't really seem fair that she's always sharing him.
Vanessa has never dared to believe that Nate was hers for keeps, but she'd like all of him right now thank you very much.
-
Europe is a flurry of feelings.
Of course there are cathedrals and food carts and the pulsing beat of music flowing through her veins, but mostly there's the feel of Nate's eyes on her face and the sound that's not quite a snore when he sleeps and a million other little feelings that she supresses with a cocktail.
-
Let's pretend Scott never happened. Not to her, not as a romantic interest.
She thought he'd be enough of Dan and maybe, maybe if she was really lucky just the smallest pieces of Nate but-
let's just pretend Scott never happened.
-
She's always startled when she walks into the apartment to find Nate drinking coffee, telling her Dan went to pick up food, I ordered you that pad thai you like with the extra crunchy things and wearing plaid like some weird doppelganger.
There's a terrible, horrifying moment when she can't remember who she's dating.
(later that night, when she's sleeping in one of Nate's old shirts but in Dan's bed she will have a dream. It involves the curve of Nate's mouth and the feel of his lips, Dan's hands and her own fingers grasp at flannel sheets because she feels like she's falling out of her own skin. Her mouth is a perfect o when she wakes up and she can't decide if it was a dream or a nightmare.)
-
Jenny visits occasionally, and sometimes Vanessa can't quite look her in the eyes.
So young, and she finally looks it again with her face swept clean of makeup and old sweatpants hanging off her thin frame.
"How's Nate doing?" Jenny asks over grilled cheese and tomato soup, with an undercurrent of schoolgirl crush. Vanessa wonders if any of them will ever learn.
"He has a new girlfriend named Juliet," she says in a watch it tone and wave of her hand.
She isn't sure if she's talking to herself or Jenny.
-
"What do you want out of life Nate?"
It's two in the afternoon on a Sunday, and they're in his bed. A Baccarat crystal plate is between them, filled with Nutella and croissants. There's a bottle of champagne on his nightstand.
(the champagne is cheap because she bought it at some bodega but he smiled anyways and took the first swig)
It's a loaded question, but Nate doesn't realize that of course.
He shrugs and Vanessa admires his delts.
"Why can't we just live in the present?"
You're living on borrowed time, she thinks to herself but she pastes a grin on anyways and laughs when Nate tickles her and licks Nutella off her inner thigh.
-
There's this song that Vanessa has always loved, and it goes like this:
I don't believe in anything but myself
I don't believe in anything but myself.
But then you opened up the door, you opened up a door
Now I start to believe in something else.
But how do I know if I make it through?
And how do I know, where's the proof in you?
The irony doesn't escape her; whenever the song comes up on shuffle she closes her eyes and presses next.
-