day by day
days are all the same. nights are all the same. life is the same. nothing has changed for the past month. ive been home for a month. nothings really any better, but nothings really any worse. i hate everyday of the week because i either have school or work or both so i just want the day to go by fast but then the next day its just the same thing, all over again. it really really sucks being stuck somewhere doing things you dont want to do. im 18 years old and my life right now is not how i ever imagined it. i mean after i got in trouble i knew it was gonna be tough and i knew it was gonna require hard work and there would be a lot of things i would have to do to fix all of the mistakes. but never once did i think that every single day i would just mope around and be a loner and cry. and i know its so gay for me to be talking gay shit like this cuz i hate it whne people act depressed and shit but its just how i feel. and i dont really have anyone to tell this to, so im writing in this fucking journal. my parents have no idea how unhappy i am. i mean they know im not happy being at home and going to fgcu and stuff, but they have no idea that i cry way more than i need to be. i dont think anyone really realizes how often i cry. like its gotten to the point where im not even sure if its possible that i could really be this unhappy, or if im just the biggest wuss and i just cry about everything. i just dont know. maybe im talking out of my ass. i dont want to waste this part of my life but then i just want it to go by soooo fast because i hate it. its like i went from having the time of my life with all new friends in a new place experiencing college first hand. and then just like that..im back at home, with my parents every night, no friends and going to a college i cant even consider a college compared to ucf.
what fucking ever
what fucking ever