painting a picture (1/4)
painting a picture (1/4)
yoosu
angst
pg-13
for once, junsu wants to paint a picture full of colours.
On this black night, darkness falls on this city
But the hidden truth makes me lift my head
his name is kim junsu, and he is a superstar.
the lights flash in successions, as if trying to blind him and send him into jerky fits of seizures. but he's not a stranger to the shiny exterior called success and popularity; it's been his dream after all to be someone well-known, although back when he wished for that particular wish, he is barely five, and blocks of lego is his best-friend.
he smiles that flawless smile of his, sculpted into perfection by hours spent in front of the mirror, grimacing his time away until every little crease under his baby cheeks are in their respective and rightful place. that, and one calculated wink- and the ladies swoon, all starry-eyed. he flicks away at the deliberate flyaway strands of platinum blond, lips peeking out, a suggestive gesture meant as a seduction, except that it's all a fake.
a game.
out of the corners of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of someone who actually matters in his universe.
park yoochun.
he notices the looks of disdain etched permanently on that handsome, chiselled face, and the little butterflies that fly around in his stomach is crushed into dust.
oh, but he is used to such expressions. he has had years of practice- and he calls it the art of lying. it's not very creative of him, but it's amazing how stupid he becomes when it comes to matters of the heart. of course, having his feelings destroyed outright also killed half of his brain cells. never mind he was not that bright anyway to begin with.
he recognizes though the woman nestled within the dark-haired man's embrace as his steps come nearer to the arched path. min joo hyun, he recalls. rookie singer, perfect seamless transition into different pitches without batting an eye. his traitorous mind recites back the words off the sheet his manager has passed to him earlier, perfect and not missing anything. he hates his quick memory sometimes. let's see whether you can keep with me, yes, darling?
he flashes a small smile at the pair, a little smug as the pretty face flushes in all the femininity only a woman can possess, and ignores the cold stare from her partner.
another part of his heart chips off as he leaves them. it's no big deal, he thinks. practice makes perfect, junsu-yah. you've practiced enough.
he doesn't want to revisit the painful moments. not tonight, not before his performance. he plasters on another perfect smile.
i can do this.
of course he can. he's kim junsu.
Because of you, I am anew, can you hear me? (can you hear me)
Only when it's you, my heart can be filled (my heart)
the field is filled with boisterous young boys, all clad in blue, all running after the small black-and-white circular item as if their lives depended upon it.
a certain park yoochun however, is wrapped in another world, totally oblivious to his surroundings.
black spectacles perch on his nose as he scrubs feverishly at the paper, the thin layer already peeled and tattered. his mouth grows into a full-blown pout; he fights the urge to crumple it up and just toss it away. but he stops himself- no, i can't, he's perfect, i have to make this perfect-
so he breathes in deep, willing the dark thoughts of insecurity away and tries to focus on his work. it doesn't take that long for him to be completely immersed in composing his heartfelt words-
pak!
the world starts spinning like a gasing, feverishly spinning on its axis, and yoochun clutches his head in agony. he can already hear the distressed squeaking-
"yoochun-ah!"
before he can open his eyes, legs skid to his sides whiles arms flail and hit him, the alarm quite apparent.
"ohmygoditoldhyunjoongnottokicktoofarandtoohardareyouokay-"
despite the pain, yoochun smiles. "yes, i'm fi-"
"no! don't open your eyes!"
yoochun relaxes as warm gusts of air surrounds his temple, and tries to ignore the stench of sweat. he's used to this- anytime now-
a small kiss drops on the place that the ball hits. yoochun grimaces; the pulsing a little too hard to ignore, but at the sloppy pressure on the sides of his head seems to be a miracle antidote, and the swelling throbs less.
"hey-" he opens his eyes to see wide fearful eyes- "hey, i'm fine. see?" he knocks his forehead, and bites his lip when a sudden shot of pain surges. it didn't escape the other's gaze, and he doesn't know whether to be happy or afraid for the blatant apprehension.
"i'm going to kick his balls!" the boy fumes, face positively red.
yoochun chuckles. "junsu-yah- don't be too hard on him, it's the kim's precious jewels-" he grabs at the arms, "i'm fine. kick his shins or something. we'll sic on him later to auntie kim, and she'll send him to bed without dinner anyway, okay?"
he only lets go when junsu agrees grudgingly under his breath.
"go play some more. i'll wait here." he smiles indulgingly.
he hopes to god he's not too red in the face when junsu drops another obliging kiss on the swelling patch of skin without thinking. sometimes junsu's just that honest and naive with his actions, and the boy does anything without thinking, and yoochun just doesn't know if it's just towards him, but-
he scribbles down new words on the paper.
When the lights come off, when the screams die down
I always only think of you
as expected, years of practice can beat even the best techniques one can ever possess.
junsu smirks as he descends down the carpeted floor. he knows it's bad of him to wish ill of newbies of the industry, moreso someone who is particularly good, and deserving respect- but he's immature like that if somehow park yoochun is also within the equation.
he stops directly in front of the demure woman, her face pink with adoration, and junsu just wants to vomit.
"good job, joo-hyun-sshi. you'll be perfect in no time. no wonder he chose you." he shoots a knowing look at the frowning man sitting next to her, and pats her head. "i'm looking forward to listening to you more." he leans in suddenly and kisses the dewy skin, and draws backward just as abruptly. "see you later."
he strides fast out of the darkened hall, and breaks into a full run when bright fluorescent light of the hallways leading backstage hits him. he ignores the loud thumping of his heart, tries to erase the warmth that seeps into his skin even when there is no contact, only inches of air and fabric separating them previously. he tunes out to his manager's feeble shouts and skids into his room, locking it behind him- and only then he lets out the breath that he'd unconsciously hold in.
he slumps against the door, the incessant poundings across wood deemed unimportant. his eyes grow hot- but he rubs at them harshly. he pushes himself up again, heading to the mirrors that lines throughout the walls, and stares at the man reflecting back at him.
"forget him. kim junsu, forget him. you did it once, you can do it again." he chants.
he watches in morbid fascination as rivulets of water starts making their way down his cheeks everytime he repeats the sentence.
forget, indeed.
tbc
ps: something angsty before i continue pending works. blame that time of the month. crits are very much welcomed~
pps: inspired by beg's miryo's leggo. i love the solo album sfm! ....except dirty lol. that's the least liked track lol.
yoosu
angst
pg-13
for once, junsu wants to paint a picture full of colours.
On this black night, darkness falls on this city
But the hidden truth makes me lift my head
his name is kim junsu, and he is a superstar.
the lights flash in successions, as if trying to blind him and send him into jerky fits of seizures. but he's not a stranger to the shiny exterior called success and popularity; it's been his dream after all to be someone well-known, although back when he wished for that particular wish, he is barely five, and blocks of lego is his best-friend.
he smiles that flawless smile of his, sculpted into perfection by hours spent in front of the mirror, grimacing his time away until every little crease under his baby cheeks are in their respective and rightful place. that, and one calculated wink- and the ladies swoon, all starry-eyed. he flicks away at the deliberate flyaway strands of platinum blond, lips peeking out, a suggestive gesture meant as a seduction, except that it's all a fake.
a game.
out of the corners of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of someone who actually matters in his universe.
park yoochun.
he notices the looks of disdain etched permanently on that handsome, chiselled face, and the little butterflies that fly around in his stomach is crushed into dust.
oh, but he is used to such expressions. he has had years of practice- and he calls it the art of lying. it's not very creative of him, but it's amazing how stupid he becomes when it comes to matters of the heart. of course, having his feelings destroyed outright also killed half of his brain cells. never mind he was not that bright anyway to begin with.
he recognizes though the woman nestled within the dark-haired man's embrace as his steps come nearer to the arched path. min joo hyun, he recalls. rookie singer, perfect seamless transition into different pitches without batting an eye. his traitorous mind recites back the words off the sheet his manager has passed to him earlier, perfect and not missing anything. he hates his quick memory sometimes. let's see whether you can keep with me, yes, darling?
he flashes a small smile at the pair, a little smug as the pretty face flushes in all the femininity only a woman can possess, and ignores the cold stare from her partner.
another part of his heart chips off as he leaves them. it's no big deal, he thinks. practice makes perfect, junsu-yah. you've practiced enough.
he doesn't want to revisit the painful moments. not tonight, not before his performance. he plasters on another perfect smile.
i can do this.
of course he can. he's kim junsu.
Because of you, I am anew, can you hear me? (can you hear me)
Only when it's you, my heart can be filled (my heart)
the field is filled with boisterous young boys, all clad in blue, all running after the small black-and-white circular item as if their lives depended upon it.
a certain park yoochun however, is wrapped in another world, totally oblivious to his surroundings.
black spectacles perch on his nose as he scrubs feverishly at the paper, the thin layer already peeled and tattered. his mouth grows into a full-blown pout; he fights the urge to crumple it up and just toss it away. but he stops himself- no, i can't, he's perfect, i have to make this perfect-
so he breathes in deep, willing the dark thoughts of insecurity away and tries to focus on his work. it doesn't take that long for him to be completely immersed in composing his heartfelt words-
pak!
the world starts spinning like a gasing, feverishly spinning on its axis, and yoochun clutches his head in agony. he can already hear the distressed squeaking-
"yoochun-ah!"
before he can open his eyes, legs skid to his sides whiles arms flail and hit him, the alarm quite apparent.
"ohmygoditoldhyunjoongnottokicktoofarandtoohardareyouokay-"
despite the pain, yoochun smiles. "yes, i'm fi-"
"no! don't open your eyes!"
yoochun relaxes as warm gusts of air surrounds his temple, and tries to ignore the stench of sweat. he's used to this- anytime now-
a small kiss drops on the place that the ball hits. yoochun grimaces; the pulsing a little too hard to ignore, but at the sloppy pressure on the sides of his head seems to be a miracle antidote, and the swelling throbs less.
"hey-" he opens his eyes to see wide fearful eyes- "hey, i'm fine. see?" he knocks his forehead, and bites his lip when a sudden shot of pain surges. it didn't escape the other's gaze, and he doesn't know whether to be happy or afraid for the blatant apprehension.
"i'm going to kick his balls!" the boy fumes, face positively red.
yoochun chuckles. "junsu-yah- don't be too hard on him, it's the kim's precious jewels-" he grabs at the arms, "i'm fine. kick his shins or something. we'll sic on him later to auntie kim, and she'll send him to bed without dinner anyway, okay?"
he only lets go when junsu agrees grudgingly under his breath.
"go play some more. i'll wait here." he smiles indulgingly.
he hopes to god he's not too red in the face when junsu drops another obliging kiss on the swelling patch of skin without thinking. sometimes junsu's just that honest and naive with his actions, and the boy does anything without thinking, and yoochun just doesn't know if it's just towards him, but-
he scribbles down new words on the paper.
When the lights come off, when the screams die down
I always only think of you
as expected, years of practice can beat even the best techniques one can ever possess.
junsu smirks as he descends down the carpeted floor. he knows it's bad of him to wish ill of newbies of the industry, moreso someone who is particularly good, and deserving respect- but he's immature like that if somehow park yoochun is also within the equation.
he stops directly in front of the demure woman, her face pink with adoration, and junsu just wants to vomit.
"good job, joo-hyun-sshi. you'll be perfect in no time. no wonder he chose you." he shoots a knowing look at the frowning man sitting next to her, and pats her head. "i'm looking forward to listening to you more." he leans in suddenly and kisses the dewy skin, and draws backward just as abruptly. "see you later."
he strides fast out of the darkened hall, and breaks into a full run when bright fluorescent light of the hallways leading backstage hits him. he ignores the loud thumping of his heart, tries to erase the warmth that seeps into his skin even when there is no contact, only inches of air and fabric separating them previously. he tunes out to his manager's feeble shouts and skids into his room, locking it behind him- and only then he lets out the breath that he'd unconsciously hold in.
he slumps against the door, the incessant poundings across wood deemed unimportant. his eyes grow hot- but he rubs at them harshly. he pushes himself up again, heading to the mirrors that lines throughout the walls, and stares at the man reflecting back at him.
"forget him. kim junsu, forget him. you did it once, you can do it again." he chants.
he watches in morbid fascination as rivulets of water starts making their way down his cheeks everytime he repeats the sentence.
forget, indeed.
tbc
ps: something angsty before i continue pending works. blame that time of the month. crits are very much welcomed~
pps: inspired by beg's miryo's leggo. i love the solo album sfm! ....except dirty lol. that's the least liked track lol.