A Needed Slap in the face via Memory.
As I look at the road that lies ahead of me, and realise that I travel it alone again.
I have listened to what has come since the Consillium, a new enemy has surfaced and has somehow targeted members of the family in ways in makes them safer that I am on the outskirts of most things with the family. Ricky, Jessica the two Mollys, Tanner, Timmy and then Inali and Samantha, they have all in some way tried to make me feel at least welcome at times. Question is are they safer with me somewhere away from them? I have started to come to understand what it means to have family, the quote from Samantha “Ok Mr. Martyr, so you're saying the because of something neither one of you remembers and something that probably happened a bijillion years ago, you're gonna be willing to turn your back on your family. That sounds like wussing out to me." The false scorn fades and is replaced with a sadness similar to Adair's, "Everyone needs.... a family." I now think that she may have been testing me trying to anger me as my response came back as, " I threw my family and people on the pyre, the night I met Inali, the only survivor of a battle over the boundaries of land, we were on their sacred land and we didn't know, I was dieing, and she gave me the choice, die then and there or be reborn to gain my revenge."
"She may not want me in the end, and if that is true I must accept that, does not mean to not be part of the family, just would need to stay away from her. Martyrs die for a cause, and to be remembered, if I was to leave the family for these reasons would be not to cause pain, and working at not being remembered, though I see why you said it, doesn't mean I have to like it. Only time will see what happens, there are memories locked in all of us, some good some bad, we need to...learn how to deal with them"
Samantha’s response has slapped me in the face a time or two since then, "Martyrs are idiots, and so are you. They would rather die and escape, then stand and fight for what is important to them. So your sire and you have bad history, so you can't remember, so what?!? Love is pain, love is gut wrenching, spine ripping, scream yourself hoarse pain. I could tell you a think or two about pain, I've seen more of it than anyone should ever have to face. And the pain from a stranger, no matter how great, pales in comparison to what you're loves ones can do to you. And you have two choices, you can put your tail firmly between your legs and cower from it like a filthy dog or you can stand and face it. Because I promise you, I don't know much about being part of this family, but I do know it isn't easy, it's blood and agony amidst joy and love. But no sire of mine will ever run from the pain of love." This means I can’t walk away from the family, but if the enemy needs someone to follow, I can be the one to lead them on a merry old chase around the world.
There is what we need to survive the fire and anger, we don't burn in the fire we are tempered by it, my flame has waned at times, but I see the anger lives in you." I smile more when her words sink in "No Sire of mine will ever run from the pain of love."
"My time since reawakening has been more about learning of this world and trying not to be part of it, now it takes a slap to the face to awaken my senses, I need not worry about this world as much as worry about those I am part of with this word, Love may cause pain, but we learn our lessons better through the pain."
I have listened to what has come since the Consillium, a new enemy has surfaced and has somehow targeted members of the family in ways in makes them safer that I am on the outskirts of most things with the family. Ricky, Jessica the two Mollys, Tanner, Timmy and then Inali and Samantha, they have all in some way tried to make me feel at least welcome at times. Question is are they safer with me somewhere away from them? I have started to come to understand what it means to have family, the quote from Samantha “Ok Mr. Martyr, so you're saying the because of something neither one of you remembers and something that probably happened a bijillion years ago, you're gonna be willing to turn your back on your family. That sounds like wussing out to me." The false scorn fades and is replaced with a sadness similar to Adair's, "Everyone needs.... a family." I now think that she may have been testing me trying to anger me as my response came back as, " I threw my family and people on the pyre, the night I met Inali, the only survivor of a battle over the boundaries of land, we were on their sacred land and we didn't know, I was dieing, and she gave me the choice, die then and there or be reborn to gain my revenge."
"She may not want me in the end, and if that is true I must accept that, does not mean to not be part of the family, just would need to stay away from her. Martyrs die for a cause, and to be remembered, if I was to leave the family for these reasons would be not to cause pain, and working at not being remembered, though I see why you said it, doesn't mean I have to like it. Only time will see what happens, there are memories locked in all of us, some good some bad, we need to...learn how to deal with them"
Samantha’s response has slapped me in the face a time or two since then, "Martyrs are idiots, and so are you. They would rather die and escape, then stand and fight for what is important to them. So your sire and you have bad history, so you can't remember, so what?!? Love is pain, love is gut wrenching, spine ripping, scream yourself hoarse pain. I could tell you a think or two about pain, I've seen more of it than anyone should ever have to face. And the pain from a stranger, no matter how great, pales in comparison to what you're loves ones can do to you. And you have two choices, you can put your tail firmly between your legs and cower from it like a filthy dog or you can stand and face it. Because I promise you, I don't know much about being part of this family, but I do know it isn't easy, it's blood and agony amidst joy and love. But no sire of mine will ever run from the pain of love." This means I can’t walk away from the family, but if the enemy needs someone to follow, I can be the one to lead them on a merry old chase around the world.
There is what we need to survive the fire and anger, we don't burn in the fire we are tempered by it, my flame has waned at times, but I see the anger lives in you." I smile more when her words sink in "No Sire of mine will ever run from the pain of love."
"My time since reawakening has been more about learning of this world and trying not to be part of it, now it takes a slap to the face to awaken my senses, I need not worry about this world as much as worry about those I am part of with this word, Love may cause pain, but we learn our lessons better through the pain."