my lungs feel the weight of the world now

[burnit_up]

you know i'm sick and you know you helped to cause it. you're as responsible as i am. but you dont want to help me out, you want to go out with your friends and ignore me. fine. but stop invading my thoughts. stop letting your image taint the memories of everytime i smile. i don't want to remember you, i dont want anything to do with you. but i remember when i did. i remember when we both cared. i wish i didn't but i cant help it. you can place the blame on me and say i changed but you havent? your lack of compassion or even concern right now shows me that this isn't what i loved. and i miss it so much. dwelling on you is not helping me. you are not helping me and i'm sorry i even asked for it. but i had too because the help i want can only come from you. everyone else is supportive and logical but i dont want that. i want some one who will listen to me cry, rub my back, and let me know that no matter what they're there. i want the commitment you had to me. why did you lose it now, when i needed it most?

a break up is hard. at least, for me... these complications that give me a half hearted piece of you kill me.