Apr 05, 2010 22:55
I have been feeling uncertain and worried recently. I'm not sure why but it's just this nagging feeling at the back of my mind. Many times i try to shrug it off but i feel it crawling back again.
Maybe it's my academics. I'm starting to feel like a lost my real reason in learning/studying, and that i'm just doing if for people. This silent pressure to do well this year. I'm not really sure if i'm doing it for myself. Well, i'm supposed to. But why do i feel like it's an obligation? I think I need to find the feeling back of studying for myself, doing well for myself, and to truly indulge in the spirit of learning again :/ Urgh, what's wrong with me.
Maybe i'm thinking too much (don't i always do that) haha. I should just stop being paranoid and irritating. Take a deep breath, slow down, plan and think before i do stuff. Recently, my mind has been in a total whirl of "i-don't-know-what". I need to go at a slower pace, allow myself to focus and stop getting distracted by my random thoughts. HMM.
That's why i've been enjoying cca so much recently. The only medium where i can just relax and not think about anything else. I don't think when i'm dancing, and that's the part i like best.
This is such an incoherent post -.- verbal diarrhoea haha. what should i write for personal statement! Who am i, what do i want to do, what are my aspirations? I REALLY DON'T KNOW. A perfect example of my very confused brain right now.
Blocks are coming soooon, and when it starts it'll just ZOOOOM past! Along with the preparations for I.D. 2010. We're taking physics blocks on the day of production, and having all our audi rehearsals after school throughout the week of block test haha. How exciting! haha. 32 days countdown!! WE CAN DO IT, GO NYMD.
and of course, JIAYOU to my confused brain. may you sort yourself out soon.