Eh
I don't know, I have just been not myself lately. More depressed and tired. I have also been getting headaches more..easily. Maybe it is just me, I don't know. Maybe it is just my insecurity. Eh. I think about it, and I am getting back into my depressive state where I think everyone hates me--that I am unwanted. Maybe I really should not have stopped taking those pills for my depression.
You know, everyone will say all teenagers have depression and most are just faking it, but that is not the case. *Sigh* I'll not go into it, because I don't feel like it. But I still think about it and I think that my own friends do not want me around. I haven't had a real boyfriend my whole high school life [which is pretty sad] and it sucks. I think about just ending it sometimes, but that would mean that I am weak and all that crap. And I would not be able to do that.
So what do I do? I do not have a best friend that I can talk to. My mom won't understand. She told me that I did not have depression when it turned out that I did. Hell will freeze over when I talk to my Stepdad about my problems. I hate him. I hate how he looks down on his own family and only praises Jacob. Oh wait. That is because he's his own son. I wish sometimes that...I don't know. I was born a plant, funny as it sounds. At least I wouldn't have this complicated shit filled life, right?
Good news is school ends in two weeks, so I will be able to see people who I do not want to see, and who do not want to see me. That is an up, right? Whatever. I just cannot wait to get my own place so I can live alone with my depressed self and no one will have to worry about me.
You know, everyone will say all teenagers have depression and most are just faking it, but that is not the case. *Sigh* I'll not go into it, because I don't feel like it. But I still think about it and I think that my own friends do not want me around. I haven't had a real boyfriend my whole high school life [which is pretty sad] and it sucks. I think about just ending it sometimes, but that would mean that I am weak and all that crap. And I would not be able to do that.
So what do I do? I do not have a best friend that I can talk to. My mom won't understand. She told me that I did not have depression when it turned out that I did. Hell will freeze over when I talk to my Stepdad about my problems. I hate him. I hate how he looks down on his own family and only praises Jacob. Oh wait. That is because he's his own son. I wish sometimes that...I don't know. I was born a plant, funny as it sounds. At least I wouldn't have this complicated shit filled life, right?
Good news is school ends in two weeks, so I will be able to see people who I do not want to see, and who do not want to see me. That is an up, right? Whatever. I just cannot wait to get my own place so I can live alone with my depressed self and no one will have to worry about me.