Just another day without you.
Is he ever going to come back? I'm just waiting to wake up on one of the tomorrow's of my life and see him. Yeah, yeah I know I'm being dramatic. He'll be back, just not as soon as I want him to be. Not until June 6th. Let's see...he's been gone since January 31st, so I've basically made it half-way. Fuck it. I'll just go find some guy to get ass from and get my fix. It's not like I care about him....
GOD DAMNIT WHO THE FUCK AM I FOOLING!?!?! I love that boy so much. He means the world to me. I just want to make him happy. I'll be whatever he wants me to be. I'm so territorial when it comes to him. I know he's not technically "mine", so therefore I shouldn't feel bad when he hooks-up with other people...but I can't help it. He IS mine. I've given him so much of me, and let him take it and use it. At least that's what it seems like he's doing. He says he loves me and that he misses me, but then he'll come in with some comment about how he can't wait to get back...so he can bang my brains out. I laugh, pretend like it's all cool. Pretend that I'm totally fine with being a toy. Even though he says he really does love me and that I'm his best friend, I really don't think he means it anymore. I have no doubt that he used to, when we actually TALKED and we actually could be in a room together for 5 minutes before steaming it up. But now, I really don't know. I'd like to believe that he still cared about ME and not what I can give to him. But it seems like a stretch. I don't know, we will see. For now I'll just wait....
GOD DAMNIT WHO THE FUCK AM I FOOLING!?!?! I love that boy so much. He means the world to me. I just want to make him happy. I'll be whatever he wants me to be. I'm so territorial when it comes to him. I know he's not technically "mine", so therefore I shouldn't feel bad when he hooks-up with other people...but I can't help it. He IS mine. I've given him so much of me, and let him take it and use it. At least that's what it seems like he's doing. He says he loves me and that he misses me, but then he'll come in with some comment about how he can't wait to get back...so he can bang my brains out. I laugh, pretend like it's all cool. Pretend that I'm totally fine with being a toy. Even though he says he really does love me and that I'm his best friend, I really don't think he means it anymore. I have no doubt that he used to, when we actually TALKED and we actually could be in a room together for 5 minutes before steaming it up. But now, I really don't know. I'd like to believe that he still cared about ME and not what I can give to him. But it seems like a stretch. I don't know, we will see. For now I'll just wait....